<p>D2 never worked through high school, but her schedule was very full with dance, volunteer work and student government. She just got her first job in college, working 7-10 hours a week in an office. She is not having a hard time with it - getting along with people, showing up on time.</p>
<p>There are many ways to teach kids how to interact with adults, have social skills, value of money, responsibility. I do agree with MiamiDap’s earlier posts. I am not a supporter of child labor, they could be so easily taken advantage of by strangers.</p>
<p>And historically, they have been. Children used to be enormously popular with American business for some types of unskilled labor. They were cheaper than adults, and less apt to complain about unsafe working conditions, substandard pay, and 70-hour work weeks. </p>
<p>Corporate America didn’t stop using children for difficult and dangerous work because it grew a conscience. Corporate America stopped using children for difficult and dangerous work because it was FORCED to, by federal law.</p>
<p>As with practically everything, there is no One True Way. My H worked as soon as he was able with a paper route to help support the family, as his father died when he was 6. His boss noticed he was bright and hardworking and put him on the phones for customer service after a fairly short time. That job became unionized and he kept it PT all through HS and college-it paid well above minimum wage, taught him a great deal about how to deal with random problems and irate AND happy customers. Working for a paper gave him his idea for a major-communications-and got him where he is today. Not everyone HAS a choice about whether they “should” or “shouldn’t” work, and not every teen job is flipping burgers.</p>
<p>My dad had a drugstore and two of us worked for him. It interested my sister in pharmacy later in life (dad sold to a chain out of necessity). My brother worked for a carpet store that also did floor refinishing, which got him interested in construction, and he now owns his own company. He’s won awards for his specialty in restoring New England landmarks. None of us HAD to work, but I’m glad we DID. It pointed soem us towards our careers (or away from ones we’d considered).</p>
<p>My 12 yo spent the summer babysitting her cousins or working as a volunteer at a summer camp. She didn’t HAVE to. But her dance classes were on hiatus and her aunts were willing to pay good money. And she wants to teach, so all that experience was worth it to her. She did both jobs FT-she put in more hours that I do at my PT job. And the camp job paid off-the kids loved her, she was convinced she is on the right track, and the camp runs an afterschool program that wants her a few days a week. When she is 14 they will be able to pay her for doing what she loves.</p>
<p>I think kids lucky enough not to work, as long as they’re doing something useful, like hobbies or volunteering are getting just as much out of life as those who do work. But I don’t think working damages anyone, and I think it can only enhance their life experience (assuming legality and fair treatment). I still remember some of my favorite customers and bosses from Dad’s store. I worked only a few hours a week, and had time to do homework while I was on duty (small store, slow afternoons). I don’t regret it at all.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything wrong with kids working 10 or so hours a week. I did it from a very young age and still managed to do sports year round, theater, and get great grades. Do I think it’s for everyone? No. Do I think it would be good for more kids to have more responsibility? Yes. </p>
<p>Also, fwiw, I think my work experience from a young age is what had enabled me to never work a minimum wage job after age 16 or so. </p>
<p>Also, what someone said up thread is true. Most employers don’t want to hire someone under 16. In that case I think consistent volunteer work is just as valuable.</p>
<p>It is one thing to work for one’s parents, relatives or friends, but it is something else to work for a complete stranger when someone is under 15.</p>
<p>When D1 was 13 or 14, she went around our block to send out fliers looking for babysitting jobs. One family on our block called her to babysit their 2 young toddlers while they went to a friend’s house for dinner. D1 told the parents that she needed to be up early next morning for an EC. They assured her that they would be home by 10-11. When D1 showed up, there were 6 kids from 2 other families whose babysitter(s) were no show. No warning to D1. She was a good sport, but when she called the parents at 12am to ask when they were going to be home, they got upset with her. They didn’t pay her extra for those kids, even though D1 (at age 14) made sure the kids’ rooms were all cleaned up and actually got those kids to bed. She made $50 that night. It was end of her babysitting career. I told her that I preferred she sat at home watching TV rather than be taken advantage of.</p>
<p>Two years later, as a top student at her school, she was asked to tutor by some parents around our town. She was able to get $75/hour and she had more requests than she had time for.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the entire thread, but will throw into the mix, my D had her first real paying job starting immediately after she turned 14. She wanted to go to Italy for 3 weeks with my aunt and her kids, and I told her she would have to earn the $ to go, and I would match her 50/50. She went out and secured work at our synagogue as a pre-school TA, a job she held until she graduated HS and moved away. When she turned 15 she also secured p/t work at our local Target store, as they paid (fairly) well (higher than minimum wage) and were very flexible with scheduling for the students. She would work p/t during school, and bumped her hours to as many as she could during breaks (summer, spring, holiday). </p>
<p>My D is not a ‘snob’ when it comes to working. During college she has worked at Pinkberry (frozen yogurt), at a chocolatier in Saks Fifth Ave., and several cafes as a waitress. She fully supports herself in NYC as a waitress, working in Soho, and has been for the last 4 years (she is 24 now). She is currently packing to move to London to see what life might be like for her there, and will look for work right away. Again, paying her own way, with her Mom (me) blowing kisses and hugs from afar and wishing her mazel tov along the way. I am very proud of the way she handles her responsibilities, and do sincerely believe she has a very good work ethic. </p>
<p>I am a supporter of kids working IF it doesn’t interfere with their schoolwork. If a 12 year old has a family with a business, and the 12 year old is thriving, I say good for them! I worked for my mother & grandmother in their business starting when I was 10 sorting items and filing. I turned out ok (trust me).</p>
<p>This isn’t a one-sized fits all question and working during one’s childhood/adolescence has its positives and negatives.</p>
<p>I had part-time jobs doing a variety of things ranging from dishwasher at a pizzeria to cashier at a stationary store from late elementary until the end of my first semester at my STEM-centered public magnet high school when the long commute and extremely rigorous academics forced me to stop. </p>
<p>While I loved working part-time, I wasn’t going to do it at the cost of getting straight-Fs…no matter what some upper-middle class suburban aunts* who felt working part-time was just as/better than “book learning”. </p>
<p>Moreover, having/allowing children/adolescents work part-time during the school year wasn’t universally considered a good thing among parents/older neighbors in my old working-class NYC neighborhood. </p>
<p>Most of the older neighbors & parents with children displaying any inclination towards high academic achievement actually strongly discouraged/banned their kids from working because there was a strong tendency among kids to enjoy earning money so much that they tended to drop out to their later regret. Many of them became those very neighbors/parents who felt allowing children/adolescents to work part-time increased the chances they’d drop out…especially when they/their childhood friends did so. </p>
<p>Some of the kids in my age group who repeated that pattern are now either stuck in dead-end jobs, unemployed without skills/credentials to be competitive in this job market once they were outsourced/laid off, and/or trying to go back to college…but find it much harder to do so in their thirties…especially if they have kids. </p>
<ul>
<li>Some were the same types who felt having their grad school student kids attending dinner parties was so important that those cousins ended up being kicked out of their graduate programs for not putting enough time into their graduate studies.</li>
</ul>
<p>“I agree that earning money is a great thing, starting as young as one can.”</p>
<p>-Child Services will disagree with you, though, nothing could be done about that except changing the law and eliminating min. emloyable age. </p>
<p>My D. worked in summers while in HS. There is no way she could have been as successful and “normal” if she had to work every day. As I have mentioned, she was out of house 7am until 10pm and many weekends we were out of town. I know many kids who were on the same schedule. To expect them to work after 10pm is ridiculous.</p>
<p>Our girls started working for the family business when they were 11 and 12 yrs old during the summer.
They begged to because it was a fun environment with other kids ( though non-family couldn’t work until age 14 )
They loved earning their own money and they learned great work ethic that has helped them to shine in future jobs as well as learning very valuable people skills
Our youngest , who is 15 has a different view on working than her older sisters , since not too many of her friends have jobs, nor do they want to…also there isn’t one friend that shares in any household chores at all…it puzzles me than NOTHING is expected of these girls …not even clearing the table after a meal</p>
<p>It does not puzzle me at all. I did not ask for any chores, nor I did or doing much myself in a house. I have better stuff to do and so did my kids. BTW, D. has no problem keeping her studio organized and clean it when she can afford spending time on it. My low expectations in regard to house chores had no effect on anything at all. I could not ask of them what I am not doing myself. I love doing laundry, folding, somehow it is relaxing. Do not expect much more than that, not even shopping. Our house is clean and yard is fine. I told my D., make sure to get skills to earn enough to hire others for house help, very rewarding to know that you give others fair chance to earn an income.</p>
<p>“I told my D., make sure to get skills to earn enough to hire others for house help, very rewarding to know that you give others fair chance to earn an income.”</p>
<p>I can’t imagine bringing up children to think that basic household tasks are beneath them. I also think it’s part of our jobs as parents to teach kids basic self-sufficiency such as how to do laundry, wash dishes, shop for and cook basic meals, sew minor rips and lost buttons back on. If we raise our kids without these skills, they succeed on the homefront DESPITE us. </p>
<p>As someone whose late MIL WAS “the help”, I guess I live in a very different world. My H and his siblings were taught that mother wasn’t “the help” at home and everyone had a part in keeping the household running. They all learned how to shop for food, plan a meal, COOK a meal, sewing basics, how to sort laundry, how to clean. I was fortunate enough to have a mother who could afford to SAH, but we had to learn the basics too. That sure helped when we were on our own. I watched too many ignorant dormmates ruin their clothes and burn food because they had no idea how to cook or wash. </p>
<p>My H and I might be able to hire help, but it wouldn’t be something we’d ever do. WE are the help, and all of my kids know how to take care of themselves.</p>
<p>"I can’t imagine bringing up children to think that basic household tasks are beneath them. "</p>
<p>-I never said that it is beneath anybody. There are people who actually enjoy doing that. So, why not give them the chance? Hire them, give them job, while you will enjoy doing what you love. If we start going with “beneath me” logic, then everything we do might be categorized as “beneath me”, every single skill, every singel profession.<br>
People have different values. Judging others based on your own might fall in “beneath me” category for some. So, maybe we should just stick to what we personally value and let others live the way they want.</p>
<p>Well, Miami, what happens if your D is like the VAST majority of Americans who can’t hire help? </p>
<p>I think learning household tasks should be a basic part of growing up. I couldn’t believe when I had to teach two freshmen my freshman year how to do laundry.</p>
<p>Miami, you said you had “better stuff to do”. That translates into “beneath” for me.
And PLEASE, I’ve never run into anyone who LIKES cleaning for a living. They don’t get wages that barely support their doing backbreaking work because they LIKE it, they do it to keep a roof over their heads and put food on the table. My MIL and FIL both died way too young doing 2 and 3 jobs at a time doing cleaning and maintenance work to make their kids lives better. They didn’t love the work so much they wanted those 2 and 3 jobs “doing what they love.” The (legal) immigrant my church employs as a cleaning person is doing so to help feed her family. It isn’t near enough, even added to her H’s wages doing HIS backbreaking work. Doing what they love?? (insert stunned look face here)-that may be the most patronizing thing I’ve ever read. People who like clean homes aren’t necessarily people who would do it for a pittance for others. There’s not even any comparison.</p>
<p>I also still maintain that any parent who doesn’t teach their kids the basics of household maintenance is falling down on the job. To me they are like reading, writing, knowing how to cross a street and tie your shoes. They help you get by in life on your OWN.</p>
<p>“Well, Miami, what happens if your D is like the VAST majority of Americans who can’t hire help?” </p>
<p>-She cannot hire help now. So, she keeps her studio appartment very organized and cleans it when she can afford spending time doing so.<br>
However, just as an example, her best friend is temporarily living parents’ owned house as parents moved to another state for better job opportunities and selling house currently is a loosing proposition, so they decided to sell it later. This girl absolutely cannot afford cleanning huge house (my D. would not be able to afford it either), there is simply no time. So, family is looking for cleanning person currently. Neither my D. nor her friend (and none of their classmates) can afford working at all and will not be able to do so for few more years. Support: parents, spouses, huge loans (some might be $350k when they are done with school).
So, this is how it goes in real life.</p>
<p>"I also still maintain that any parent who doesn’t teach their kids the basics of household maintenance is falling down on the job. "
-I admit that based on this criteria I am a failed parent. However, my status of failed parent worked perfectly in MY family with both kids. I cannot guarantee that it will work for others. I just assumed that if a kid is capable to be accepted to college than he/she is capable to read labels to know which button to push on washer/drier and how to determine the difference between detergent and cooking oil. My assumption has been proven correct for MY family. I do not have any opinions or advices for others, they have to decide for themselves what their kids are capable of, what they absolutely have to teach them and what they let them to figure out on their own.</p>
<p>Not trying to make this in any way political - because I doubt there is any real disagreement about this subject - but bills were introduced in at least 2 state legislatures to eliminate child labor restrictions. The interesting thing to me was that this was “religiously” motivated, with that in quotes because most religion disagrees with that particular interpretation. The idea is that the state usurps the role of the family in determining what is best for that family. If a family wants to put a 10 year old to work, why should the state prevent that? Note this was not for a child helping out in a family business. </p>
<p>I’ve encouraged my kids to work while in school. It helps them organize their time. It gives them spending money. It gives them a sense of identity and competence apart from school. And there is some research that kids who work do better, though it’s hard to isolate that component from issues like motivation and the intelligence necessary to do a job well and go to school. (Meaning self-selection is an issue.)</p>
<p>But I try to keep in mind that some people are nut cases and others are unscrupulous money grubbers and that we need laws to protect children.</p>
<p>I had full-time summer jobs since I was 14. When I was in middle school, I got a signed blank check every morning, went to school, came home, shopped for groceries, did my homework, cooked dinner for our large family, tutored or typed papers for anyone needing it, rinsed & repeated for all through intermediate school. It was OK, but not something I felt compelled to have my kids repeat. </p>
<p>I have no regrets with how we raised our kiddos. They have gotten summer and part-time jobs when they could and have gained from what they did at those jobs, but financially it wasn’t a huge issue for us. </p>
<p>Since they have chronic health issues, I do want them to be able to rest when they can so they can conserve their stamina and use it for other things than working at jobs that have no relationship to their interests and talents. Both have held jobs related to their fields and S now has a full-time job that he enjoys and will allow him a lot of flexibility and great benefits.</p>