<p>Based on another thread, I thought I should start this one. I hope I have not commited a faux pas! H and I have rented a time share for a week in Florida for spring break. S (HS soph) was allowed to bring 1 - 3 friends (plenty of room). We told the boys that they would pay their own airfare, admission to two days of parks (probably one day at Disney and one at Busch Gardens), and any souvenirs. We would treat all housing, all food in the condo, and ground transportation. We feel this is a win-win: the teenagers are happy, the parents are happy. It’s moderately more expensive to us (food and larger car rental), but we really like the invitees and S will have tons more fun. I would have appreciated the same offer from another family and expected to pay airfare and park admission for my child. Now, however, I wonder if we are not being generous enough. One boy is already booked to join us; the other two are seeing if they can come (working on flights). Should I go back and offer to “host” more? I want to be gracious and appreciate the company for my S , but don’t feel the need to pay for the entire trip for the friends (who have no other plans). Both families appear to be comfortable financially, although neither is wealthy based on my observations.</p>
<p>You’ve offered enough.
The other families may want their kids with them over the break for whatever reason, may have tight finances or are uncomfortable accepting your offer.
Stepping in with willingness to pay more just puts the other 2 sets of parents in a bind.</p>
<p>My parents would never accept let me such an offer from non family.
Mostly because they could never repay the favor to your family.</p>
<p>This simply wouldn’t be possible for us, but my ex appears to be in your demographic with a timeshare in FL and all, and when he took our D to FL and let her invite a friend, he paid for everything. I have always heard that you don’t “invite” someone along anywhere unless you can pay their way. But I guess if the other parents are ok with your way, then you are off the hook. </p>
<p>On a (much) smaller scale, when my H and I let the younger D invite friends anywhere, we offer to pay. If the parents insist on having their kids pay for the movie, skating, etc. we go with that.</p>
<p>Momof2kids, I’ve sent my kid to Florida under similar circumstances, minus Disney. And I sent her to a resort for which I paid admission and they had my kid sleep in the hotel room in the same bed with her friend. I am grateful that my daughter has had the opportunity to do this travel that I can’t provide as a single mom with fewer resources than the host family, which we know since kindergarten. </p>
<p>The girls are now juniors and last month I took 3 kids (in addition to my daughter) for college tours with 2 nights at a motel, and I wouldn’t accept money for food or motel from this girl, although I did for the other 2 kids who came with us.</p>
<p>We’ve hosted other teens and sent our own teens on similar spring break arrangements. You should feel comfortable with the offer you have made; it is up to the parents of the other boys to decide if their sons will be able to make the trip.</p>
<p>As long as the offer was made up front, then the families can decide if they can afford it. You don’t need to offer more. People should just spell it all out in advance. My sister was in a situation where she invited her kid’s friend on vacation, and sis assumed that the invited kid would pay his own way for entrance fees and kick in for food and gas (friend’s family is better off.) Meanwhile, the friend’s parents assumed that their kid was a guest and he brought no $ and expected my sis/her h to pay for everything.
Sis complained afterward how RUDE the kid/his parents were for not paying. IMO–Not necessarily. They just had different assumptions and didn’t agree on who was paying for what ahead of time. Never assume that other people are thinking the same thing you are.</p>
<p>As long as you made the arrangements clear up-front, I think you are good to go. I can’t imagine anyone would expect you to pay for all of the airfare and tickets. You are being generous to provide housing, transportation and food. I would be very grateful as we could probably not take such a trip for our entire family but could swing sending one child with another family! We take a lot of kids camping and always provide all of the food. When I send one of mine with another family on something like you are suggesting, I send a welcome home basket with food so they don’t have to cook on their return, as a thank you. Have a great trip!</p>
<p>When D1 graduated from high school, one family offered to host 10+ kids at their Colorado ski home for a week. They had a cook and various activities booked for the kids and paid for by them, but kids had to pay for their own airfare. There was one kid who couldn’t afford the airfare, so the parents used their miles to get this kid there. </p>
<p>We are going on an all inclusive vacation next week, it’ll be three of us, but we had to pay for 4 because we have 2 rooms. I offered to D2 to have a friend come if she wanted, but the friend would be responsible for airfare. </p>
<p>We have offered to take our kids’ BF on family vacation with us and offered to pay for all expenses. More often than not, they offered to pay for the airfare. I have a feeling it came from their parents.</p>
<p>We’ve taken other people’s kids with us on ski vacations for years. But although the drive is very long, these were driving vacations so extra kids were not a big deal. One year my oldest son who was a junior in high school at the time, drove out with us in a separate vehicle with his friends. In each case the kids needed to pay for their own lift tickets and spending money but we took care of food and housing. I’ve always e-mailed the potential parents and spelled out for them what “we” were paying for, told them where we were overnighting, gave them an itinerary and emergeny contact info and asked them to send me a copy of the medical insurance card for the kid and a release form allowing H and I to do something if necessary and explaining what their sons needed to pay for.</p>
<p>We often took friends of our Ds along on trips when they were younger. You have to offer what you feel works for you. We always paid for everything but spending money, but that was because we could. People know that that isn’t possible for everyone. The only exception with our kids’ friends was one who had a parent who worked for an airline so she got to fly for free, and so it saved us paying for her ticket to Hawaii.</p>
<p>I think you are already being generous and personally I would think it was over the top if you paid for everything. If my kid were being hosted in this situation, I would attempt to pay for a dinner out for the group in appreciation. They would also have enough of their own cash to cover anything incidental.</p>
<p>When D was a rising junior in HS, we took her 2 BFFs with us out of state. We paid airfare for one of them, because her family was in bad financial circumstances, and we didn’t want that to prevent her from going. The other friend paid her own way. Her parents knew about the arrangement with the other girl, and supported it.</p>
<p>I took my niece to Disney one vacation. My brother paid her airfare and gave her money for food. We were all in the same room and I bought her park ticket. Since they had no idea the food was so expensive, I asked her to give me her food money so I could pay one bill and she could just eat what she wanted. By the end, she had figured out she was way over, but I said it was a treat to have her and part of the gift.</p>
<p>You have offered plenty. The only thing that would change my mind would be if I knew the other parents couldn’t afford the air fare (because it would be food off their table). Otherwise, you are very generous.</p>