Brother going downhill....what can I do to help?

<p>Hello everyone,</p>

<p>Haven't posted in a while, have been mostly reading and lurking!</p>

<p>Well now I'm in a situation that I need some parents advice on!</p>

<p>I'm have been away at school for the last few years, I'm from London and went to school in Georgia. So I haven't been able to go home much to visit I think I probably visited 3 or 4 times in 3 years.</p>

<p>Well now I have been home for a few months as I've taken a semester off, I realised there was alot of things my parents neglected to tell me while I was away!</p>

<p>Firstly my mum had depression and anxiety and was given full paid leave from work for 6 months. I have been told the story now and the depression was from stress from her work.</p>

<p>That was over a year ago now but she's back at work at the same job and she said she is starting to feel like she did before. She's so unorganised that I can see how she thinks she might not be able to cope because she gets so behind. I often help her organise her work because I am highly organised and can get things done. But now she really just leaves the work for me to do and doesn't even attempt it herself, so now I'm not sure wether I'm really helping her or not? She has gone to her doctor and she is getting put back on some medication but she won't get that until at least the New Year as she had to be referred.</p>

<p>Now onto my brother, I found out while I was away that he is gay, well I already had a suspision but he 'officially' came out. I have always been very close to my brother and we get on extremely well. Him being gay has made no difference to our relationship. But when I came home I realised he didnt really seem himself anymore. He used to be very interested in music, he plays the piano and violin and sings in the choir. Well he still goes to his musical practices, but i've not heard him practice at home once since I've been home in the last 5 months! </p>

<p>He is also very smart he tested wthin the top 5% in the country on our standardised test. Well now he is in his 2nd year of a-levels and should be applying to colleges next year. But I came home to find out he had failed 2 of his 4 a-levels in his first year and barely passed the other 2. My mum finally told me he hadn't been attending class at all and just wasn't interested in anything anymore. So then for his 2 year he carried on with the 2 subjects he barely passed and he said he was going to work hard to bring his grades up and he also picked up a new subject. Before that year he had only ever gotten A's.</p>

<p>He has been seeing a therapist for about 3 months now I think but he doesn't seem any different. He is in the process of being referred to his doctor and a hospital to be put on medication but this process will takes months, whats he supposed to do in the mean time? </p>

<p>I caught him skipping school again and he said he hadn't really been going the past 3 weeks so again he is already way behind. I told my mum months ago she should have phoned the school and got a copy of his schedule so she would know when he should be in class, but she didnt. Now that my parents know he hasn't been going to school again they seem ok with letting him carry on in this fashion. I've been trying to help by offering to help him with any of his homework, listen to any piece he's practicing or just in general hanging out with him, but at the time he will do the work but then if I don't offer to help or I don't get him interested in the work he's doing he doesn't do it. My mum can't really help much and she is very stressed out at the moment and this is adding to it. So now she's feeling guilty about not being able to help my brother.</p>

<p>I really don't know what to do, I'm a very happy and smiley person, always have been. Never had any issues with depression so I'm finding it very hard to know what to do when my mum and brother are suffering from it. Most of the time they just don't want to do anything and I find that hard to live with as im the opposite! </p>

<p>I'm leaving again in 6 weeks to go back to school in America, and I feel like everythings going to fall apart when I leave and I'm wondering what can I do to help? or if what I'm currently doing is actually helping at all?</p>


<p>The one most important thing for you to realize is also the most difficult: You cannot fix this, and you are not responsible for doing so. Wanting to help and helping when you can is wonderful. But you do have to take care of yourself, too. </p>

<p>Where is your father in this?</p>

<p>I am not well informed with regard to the British medical system. Is there an office of patient advocacy or some such entity that can help organize things while you are away and your mother and brother are awaiting services?</p>

<p>Please check back.</p>


<p>You can get prescription medication for depression from your doctor today (even in the UK). If is a waiting list it is obviously to see some kind of specialise (psychiatrist?). Wait time depends on where you live and presumably severity of condition.</p>

<p>I'd recommend
1)Phone NHS direct (though they always end with telling you to speak to your GP)NHS</a> Direct - We're Here Whenever You Need Health Advice & Information
2)contact a mental health charity such as MIND Mind</a> (National Association for Mental Health)</p>

<p>Above all, ITA with mafool. You are NOT responsible for this Natoar23. It makes no difference you being worried out of your mind or not, so do not stress so much. It is not your fault in any way. At this point your family need professional help. Not help from strangers on the web, or help from you other than your understanding and sypathy. You cannot do more. Take care of yourself.</p>