Bush Gives Top Ten Positive Outcomes of Election

Parent Cafe
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<p>I peeked in at CC a short while ago to find my PM box filled with messages from well-wishers wondering if I am “OK”. After 12 hours of continuous sleep (I was too tired from intimidating elderly minorities at the polls to even stay up and watch the final results) I am fine. I will now spend the next 48 hours getting my real life back in order, followed by a weekend trip that will involve some college visiting, so don’t expect to hear much from me this week, but don’t infer from that that I’m sulking or bitter or anything but my regular old self–I’m just more f*ing annoyed than usual. And busier. I’ll be back to deal with you, my pretties, so enjoy the victory party while you can.
I leave you with this:

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<p>Good laughs, driver. Enjoy your college visiting. Glad you checked in. :)</p>

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<p>I like that top ten. For some reason, I like the one about Lynn Swann the best.</p>

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<p>I liked this one too:

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<h1>11. The crying Santorums might well replace the flying Wallendas as a family act…</h1>

<p>(Kidding aside… that was a very classy concession speech-- and I was touched by his kids!)</p>

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<p>too funny driver. My personal fave is number 9…though I think Lieberman may have learned his lesson… ;)</p>

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<p>Number 9 is my favorite too.</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>New York Times and CNN will carry much less negative news about Congress.
[it’s money in the bank]</p></li>
<li><p>Since a lot of the polling places are in church buildings, millions of Democrats actually went to church yesterday.
[they’ll get over it knelling in front of the TV worshiping Mammon…or, listening to the secular-gospel of NPR]</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>Driver, dearie! I was worried about you! Thanks for checking in, since I thought you might have checked out yesterday, what with all the bad news for you.</p>

<p>Chin up! Life is good!</p>

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<p>To Scott Ott (and poor Driver):</p>

<p>Wa, wa, wa. </p>

<p>“We won. Get over it.” (Sound familiar?)</p>

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<p>

It does, indeed: Marion Barry, ca. 1994, addressing white constituents. The crackhead/Democrat/felon/Mayor of D.C.–Good quote.</p>

<p>Weenie, when we wake up tomorrow, I will still have my sense of humor…and you will still be Weenie.</p>

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<p>Yeah, like that’s gonna bother us–if you’re still funny. ;)</p>

<p>Are you sure you want to tour bastions of liberalism in your current state? Poor driverettes.</p>

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<p>But the difference driver? No meds here. Clean as a whistle. :)</p>

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<p>but who will be smiling? :)</p>

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<p>Then we can’t blame the meds, I assume.</p>

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<p>From Jim Treacher’s blog:
Questions from a political dilettante</p>

<pre><code>* Does this mean Bush is still Hitler? I’m pretty sure Hitler never let his opponents win an election, did he? Unless… this is all part of Rove’s plan.

  • A major concern of the last few elections has been that Republicans need to cheat to win, and the problem was going to be even worse with the new Diebold machines. What happened? Did Cheney forget his password again? That darn Cheney, always forgetting his password.

  • What happened to Ned? I thought Lieberman was Public Enemy #1. Now Kos must feel like the kid on Christmas morning who’s surrounded by toys… except for the one he really wanted.

  • Does Nancy Pelosi ever wear a fake flower on her lapel that shoots acid? Because that would really be a surprise for Batman when he’s hauling her to Commissioner Gordon’s office.

  • So the world likes us again, right? No more terrorism? YAY!!!
    </code></pre>

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<p>The Onion weighs in</p>

<p><a href=“The Onion | America's Finest News Source.”>The Onion | America's Finest News Source.;

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<p>But wait, there’s more…</p>

<p><a href=“The Onion | America's Finest News Source.”>The Onion | America's Finest News Source.;