<p>my side of the family stops buying nieces and nephews gifts as they graduate from high school. H’s side stops when they graduate from college.</p>
<p>the older cousins, the high school graduates and older, on my side of the family take turns choosing a charity and each cousin donates to the charity. I am not sure whose turn it is this year. D is old enough to be doing it, S isn’t yet.</p>
<p>I think what is making this a bit more difficult for me is that my sister and I are estranged. She has the young adult working kids. If we were still going to get together I would have suggested a gift draw at this point. I guess not sending anything might suggest to them I’m cutting them off personally…which isn’t the case. We aren’t close and I only saw them at Xmas pretty much anyway. I was thinking of just sending a card, but opening a card with nothing will just get smirks…I know. So…what to do? I stopped buying them bday gifts when they graduated…just gave them one huge check then…and then stopped bdays. </p>
<p>For my husband’s siblings/families, we alternate years and exchange by family. There’s a sliding rotation by year. It works fine, and we only have to ship one place, so that’s nice. Now all except one sib has all kids in college, so I’m wondering when we can stop. Everyone is fine financially, but it is hard knowing what to purchase for kids who really lack nothing. Being the in-law, I just smile and nod 
- And wind up doing all the shopping for the family we have, and get in trouble with my husband for spending too much, and…<br>
I’m an only child, but have a large extended family. We typically only buy for my mom and the one family that we spend most holidays with (they live close to us and we are close to them). I’m happy that almost all of my friends have agreed not to exchange gifts. I have one friend who always buys me gifts, because he just likes to. I buy him something when I find something I think he will like, and don’t stress too much when I don’t. </p>
<p>My parents and I attempted to reason with the family (21 of us siblings, SO, and children/SO) to reduce the load on my mom, who hosts happily but hates gift shopping. She and I suggested everything from drawing names to group gifts to no gifts and this reduced an otherwise happy family to angry emails and weeping phonecalls. The upshot of which was people who wanted to gift, did; DH and I gave very small token/modest household gifts, Mom kept shopping. I’ve never been so angry with my siblings in my life (" we like gifts! Mom doesn’t have to but we want to") The grandchildren reacted to the notion of getting together without gift-opening rituals as if they’d been abandoned (they didn’t care if their gift was “an old shoe” but they loved everything about the communal opening) One nephew specifically accused me of trying to arbitraily hijack the holiday. </p>
<p>Several years later, the late 20-somethings and their SO/babies are all across the country. I am getting off this crazy train and got everyone a very lovely — card. No gifts. The relief is amazing!</p>
<p>I sent a Harry & David’s gift box to my brother & his family this year. I remember getting something like that as a kid at our house (from a business associate of my dad’s, I think), and I thought it was pretty cool and tasty. (I send smaller boxes to my kid during midterms week, too.) Have asked for something like it for our family from my parents this year, who can’t shop much any more. Last year they sent a Zingerman’s gift box, which we loved and noshed on all the way through the holidays.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.wilburbuds.com/documents/wilbur_catalog_2014-2015_web.pdf”>http://www.wilburbuds.com/documents/wilbur_catalog_2014-2015_web.pdf</a>. (5 lb chocolate bar, complete with hammer for ‘serving’ purposes)</p>
<p>For whiny families who just MUST continue the gift-a-palooza…allow children to consume copious amounts of chocolate, and then watch as they continue to enjoy the hammer included in the order 
</p>
<p>For my extended family (this includes our siblings, first cousins and their kids and grandkids) only kids under 21 get gifts/money. Those over 21 and out of college can be in swap. We have a set amount we have to spend for swap- it is now up to $75. We also have a few things we cannot buy. No cheese platters or wine decanters. </p>
<p>We did the swap for a couple of years. It was not a success for the adults. Sure, we on,y had one $50 present to return…but it was almost worse trying to think of that ONE thing.</p>
<p>I know a lot of folks don’t think that a contribution to charity is a gift, but in this family…it is…and is well appreciated. It’s fun to see what organizations other family members choose. </p>
<p>We used to draw names for grown siblings/spouses. We decided to stop this one year when one sibling was out of work and we were happy to stop since we don’t see each other and really don’t know what to get. On other side of family we used to exchange gifts, but quit several years ago. I now send my siblings and father winter wreath/tree/centerpieces which are also a fundraiser for DS. It’s easy, pretty, and can be thrown away at end of the season, which is perfect as far as I’m concerned.</p>
<p>We only have Dad’s left (both Mom’s have passed away). I send them holiday cookies each year, which they enjoy, and again there’s nothing to keep or put away, just goodies to enjoy.</p>