<p>My name isn’t going on the deed, it’s his house and his mortgage. My only contribution was the 5k for our EMD. Our living arrangement has always been that I take care of our savings if he takes care of our regular expenses, so he pays rent and utilities and my money goes into savings for our mutual benefit-- not conventional but that’s what works best for us. BF is apparently on the phone trying to work it out, I am sitting at work trying not to pass out. Our agent had told us this was going to be totally fine, but it sounds like your earnest money can only originate from someone else if its a blood relative and they fill out a bunch of paperwork. I don’t understand that, it’s his money. I didn’t just live with him for free for a year, that was supposed to be his money.</p>
<p>I am wondering if he can take the 5k out of his downpayment money and switch it out with the money I gave him, but if the downpayment needs to be sourced that way too I guess we’d still be 5k short. Maybe there’s some sort of an affadavit I can sign stating that the 5k was for money I owed him for living expenses. I don’t know. It would have been nice if this issue had been raised earlier in the process.</p>
<p>Emaheevul07, if the bank doesn’t budge after your BF talks with them, you could try writing a statement regarding your “rent” for the past year being equal to the $5K and that you had an agreement to pay in a lump sum in order to provide the EMD. Get it notarized. It’s worth a try before going to the next step of seeing an attorney to provide a similar letter, which is what I had to do years ago. The letter worked, but the cost would have paid for a new dishwasher (a budget model, but still that was a big deal for me at the time.)</p>
<p>That sounds like a good idea about writing the letter, ema. There is no way that you should have to go to an attorney for something as trivial as this. Stinks that your agent steered you wrong. I have gotten my parents to give me a couple of “gift letters” before, not notarized, anything. It is common. They have given me 10K, 20K, and a letter saying it is a gift, not expected to be repaid. And of course, if I happened to have given them their money back a few weeks after closing due to a change of heart on my part, who can complain?</p>
<p>But in your case, it is very logical that it is money that you have owed him for rent. That is smart, to get the house in one person’s name. I would never share a mortgage with anyone I wasn’t married to, even family. Way too messy.</p>
<p>Not sure which state you are in, but for most states if you are married when you bought the house, no matter who is on the deed, you must consent on the purchase and when you sell it you have to sign the deed or some kind of consent as well. </p>
<p>I bought this house in NJ before I got married, when I sold it, my wife has to sign the agreement/deed/consent.</p>
<p>We are a community property state so far as I know. Either way, the intention is for me to be on the deed once we’re married, which will be within the next year. We are just waiting to get the financial obligations currently on the table out of the way before we commit to setting a date, our home takes priority over throwing a wedding and we dont want to overextend financially. It ended up this way because he makes more than twice what I do, and given what proportion of the rent I could afford anyway it wasn’t worth the hassle to us to try and switch utilities or deal with having to give each other money for bills every month. So, I save for emergencies and big ticket purchases in addition to paying everything I paid for myself before we moved in, and he pays everything he paid before I moved in.</p>
<p>BF works at a credit union and the head of THEIR mortgage department told him there’s no reason they shouldn’t take my bank statements and a signed affadavit for the rest of their paper trail, but the bank said that won’t be acceptable-- they don’t care if we’re engaged, I’m not on the mortgage so my money is no good. The only way we can come up with another 5k that fast, without using any of my apparently useless money, would be to take it from his 401k at a penalty… if the penalty is 10% of the withdrawal amount like he thinks it is that’s really no big deal but puts a bad taste in my mouth. He has plenty of money in there and a long time to make it up, we could probably put the money back within a few months in addition to normal contributions (or sooner if we just put my money back in), but this was not the plan. I feel bad that I worked so hard to save that money and now we can’t use it. He is on the phone with his 401k people now trying to figure out what the damage would be to go that route.</p>
<p>A 401(k) loan would not be taxable to him and can be paid back with interest (which is credited to his account). No penalties. He can borrow 50% of his VESTED balance. The plan may charge a loan distribution fee and annual maintenance charges. </p>
<p>If he takes a 401(k) distribution, it is taxable, but there is no penalty for withdrawal if the funds are used to purchase a primary residence. He cannot pay it back to the 401(k) - though he could decide to increase his future contributions to catch up. Note that the 10% penalty, when it applies, is IN ADDITION to regular taxes due.</p>
<p>I would work on getting the letter while he checks out loans. Better to use $$ you already have in hand!</p>
<p>Congrats on such good financial planning & discipline so early in your careers.</p>
<p>I totally agree with countingdown and notrich about the 401K loan. If you have to take from his 401K, that is definitely the way to go. I don’t think you can get it in a day, but I don’t remember that it took very long. Maybe it can be expedited.</p>
<p>When we bought our last house, we needed to get money from every possible source, as it required a large down payment. We borrowed 50K each from our 401K plans (the max). Since it was for a mortgage, we got the 10 year payback period, instead of the normal 5 yr. We can pay it off at any time, and the interest we pay towards it (8-9%, I think), goes into our own account. Only cost $100 in administrative fees. The monthly payment is deducted from our paycheck. And since we took the loan when the market was doing pretty good (like now), and have been paying it back monthly when the market has mostly been doing poorly, it’s actually been a decent investment.</p>
<p>That is, if no other options pan out. I can’t believe they’d make such a big deal about this. What about just a gift letter? And actually, you could just have him get a loan on the 401K, then give him the money and he can pay it back right away. But that seems silly. Maybe you need to talk to someone else at the bank!</p>
<p>As a side note, in the future, it comes in handy to have a relationship with a local bank where you get to know people. We were trying to get a HELOC from our local branch of Bank of America, and the house didn’t appraise for enough for their ratios. The manager was on the phone with whoever makes the decisions, and she was pounding her fist on the desk, yelling, “Give them the Heloc, give it to them!” Among other things. And they ended up approving it. For a lot more than we asked for! They never would have done that without her.</p>
<p>I thought a gift letter would work too, that was what the mortgage dept at BF’s work said. But they said no way… I am surprised, I read that banks are sticklers about this when it comes to FHA loans but this is a conventional mortgage we are talking about here. I have friends that have done the EXACT same thing with other lenders and they had no issues. And my friends didn’t have conventional mortgages like I do, they had FHAs and they didn’t even need a gift letter, just for the check to come from the buyer. Apparently we should have chosen a different lender. This is a big well known bank, you’ve all heard of it, so I thought they’d be okay.</p>
<p>We can’t do a 401k loan, unfortunately, because we are already doing that for the downpayment. BF has been planning for this purchase for 10 years and poured every extra cent he ever made into it knowing he wouldn’t be able to touch it except for retirement and his first home purchase, that was his plan. So, as far as I am aware, the early disbursement is our only other option at this point. He talked to his people and they told him he could take out the 5k for about an additional 1k in taxes/fees. That sucks but isn’t the end of the world I guess as long as we never do it again. Take home lesson is that BF needs to diversify his savings.</p>
<p>The only issue now is that we won’t even get the paperwork for the 401k stuff until Monday or Tuesday, we still have to fill it out at that point and fax it back, and then allow an additional 24-48 hours for processing before we’ll be ready to close-- assuming the bank is done pulling the title by then because they apparently haven’t done that. Closing was SUPPOSED to be Tuesday, so we needed to ask for an extension. Haven’t heard back yet.</p>
<p>Our buyer requested, and we OK’ed, a one-week extension to their mortgage contingency. So we agree now that they have until next Friday to get their mortgage, or we can tell them to take a hike.</p>
<p>Yeah, like that’s gonna happen . . . :rolleyes:</p>
<p>And, the silliest thing:</p>
<p>When our buyers had their inspection done, they found a few things they wanted fixed. We called our wonderful handyman and he fixed them.</p>
<p>The buyers’ bank wanted proof that the fixes were made. I got a very detailed invoice from my handyman and emailed it to our attorney.</p>
<p>Not good enough!!! They wanted proof he had been paid in full!</p>
<p>I called our handyman again and asked for him to send me something to that effect. Well – he’s now in New Orleans, doing whatever handymen do when on vaca, and won’t be able to do this until Tuesday. I asked him if he’d be OK if I forged his signature and wrote “Paid in full” on his invoice. No problem!</p>
<p>So I did so, faxed it to my attorney, and everyone is happy.</p>
<p>My handyman is awesome. He’s actually got his own home improvement company, so “handyman” might be a misnomer. I anticipate he’ll be our contractor when we redo the kitchen and bathrooms.</p>
<p>Maybe that’s why he’s in NOLA – to hear the Madoff attorney. (Sure . . . .)</p>
<p>Ema, what a pain. Can his parents give him the money. Then you could pay them back. We had this type of problem once on a refi. I called another loan officer, our officer made a mistake and they figured it out.</p>
<p>I will be buying some of these after we’ve moved in. I’ve gone to Overstock dot com and Amazon, and there are some that look attractive and are reasonably priced. They’re not knock-your-socks-off gorgeous, however. Also, if I wanted to return one, how in the world does that happen and how much does it cost?</p>
<p>Does anyone know a suitable source for beautiful Oriental carpets that don’t cost as much as a car?</p>
<p>ABC in NYC has a huge selection, I believe, although I haven’t been there in decades. There is a cluster of Oriental rug places on Rte 7 in Wilton that you might enjoy checking out.</p>
<p>Partly depends on whether you want the real thing or will accept a machine made version or something from India. The difference is not obvious to some–perhaps most–people, who are perfectly pleased with what one might call a “Persian-style” carpet vs an actual Persian carpet. You can get a nice Bokhara for significantly less than a nice tribal Persian. And then there are Chinese rugs, which vary widely also.</p>
<p>At a reputable store, you can always take the rug home and see how it looks in place, and return it if you don’t like it.</p>
<p>Is there a Kaouds near you? While some of their rugs are pricey, some really are not. </p>
<p>I have also seen some very nice rugs at Macy’s and they do have sales.</p>
<p>We have wool, handmade orientals in our living room and dining room. They are 20 years old and I really would like new ones…I don’t like the colors anymore. But I can’t justify getting rid of these costly rugs. If I had it to do over again, I would have gotten far less expensive rugs that I could replace without money guilt. There are some gorgeous synthetics these days that are lovely.</p>
<p>^Yes, my brother and his siblings are trying to figure out how to get rid of their mom’s rug right now. They just cleaned out her house in Madison because she has moved into assisted living. Somebody is probably going to get a good deal, unless one of the kids claims it first.</p>
He is on the phone with his 401k people now trying to figure out what the damage would be to go that route.</p>