<p>Collage1, I’m so sorry to hear about your D’s surgery. What a terrible feeling for you and you H. If you can, it does sound like a good idea to fly in and take her to a hotel for a few days of recuperation.</p>
<p>I had my appendix out when I was 25; it was Mother’s Day and I remember calling my mother and trying to pretend nothing was wrong (they were still trying to figure out what was going on). I was desperately sick before it came out, and I was back at work on Thursday (and this was 1981, too), and back to running (at that point I ran about 50 miles a week) a week later. I’d wait a few days and see how your daughter feels now that the appendix is out. It’s an expensive trip to make and you might want to save the money for a proper visit later.</p>
<p>If there is not a close friend or relative nearby who can help her once she is discharged, I’d fly out. You dont want to beat yourself up with “what if’s”.
Hope she feels better soon.</p>
<p>dmd77, when you had your appendix out, you were not living on a college campus. You didn’t have to walk to a different building to get something to eat. You didn’t have to walk to the pharmacy to fill your prescriptions. </p>
<p>If the OP’s daughter lives off campus and has roommates, at least one of whom has access to a car, she may be OK during the recovery period, provided that her roommates have time to help her out when necessary. But if she lives in a dorm, has no roommates, and/or doesn’t have someone available who has a car, it could be extraordinarily difficult for her to cope on her own. The presence of a family member (suitably equipped with hotel room, rental car, and credit card) could make a big difference in her quality of life for those first few post-discharge days. Even if all the parent does is pick up food and fill prescriptions, it could make a huge difference.</p>
<p>Alot of the recovery depends on how they are when they get sick - self sufficient vs. big blubbery baby. My ds had emergency appendectomy last yr as a hs senior and you would think he had heart surgery - he also had just small laproscopic incisions - I think 4 which healed quickly without any issue. He was on liquids for about 3-4 days I think. Definately climbing stairs, walking between bldgs to get food, rx would have been tough the first 2 days but again, that is because when he gets sick, he doesn’t deal well. your mileage may vary! He was back to himself (mostly) in a wk.</p>
<p>I can really empathize. We got a similar call when our kiddo was a senior. She had to have her gall bladder removed. Send me a pm and I will tell you the whole story. Bottom line is she was in the hospital for a week followed by two weeks of recovery. Luckily we had a family member and a close friend who were there with her.</p>
<p>I would strongly suggest that your daughter email all of her instructors, her advisor, and the dean of students. We found them to be most understanding and helpful. Plus DD had great roommates.</p>
<p>Collage1 - Glad she trusted her instinct and went to the hospital before it burst, so many of us won’t. If I could afford it I would fly out. </p>
<p>I hope she recovers quickly.</p>
<p>Your daughter really handled that situation well and is to be commended. </p>
<p>I too would fly out to help in handling all the obstacles that present themselves after she is released. She may want to stay with you in a hotel for a few days, get her feet back under her. You will be able to monitor her progress and help her recover more quickly. All the issues Marian listed, transportaion, walking long distances to classes, getting food in the dining hall, etc These will prove really difficult when trying to heal.</p>
<p>Best wishes to her for a very quick recovery and lots of support from the school and her community.</p>
<p>Has anyone mentioned Skype? Perhaps a quick skype session with your D might be just the thing to let you “see” how she is.</p>
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<p>Follow doctor’s orders - Yes, but she should not pamper herself to the point of laying around in bed or on the couch all day. I had an emergency appendectomy just last March. There is a reason why the nurses get you up and walking as soon as possible when you are in the hospital, even if you are weak or otherwise don’t feel like it - namely to prevent blood clots from forming in your legs and producing dangerous pulmonary embolisms.</p>
<p>So by all means she should get plenty of rest to help her heal, but her recuperation should also involve going for walks several times a day.</p>
<p>Enabling her to follow doctor’s orders is one of the reasons why your presence could be helpful.</p>
<p>Otherwise, you’re likely to hear something like this a week from now: “Amanda said that she would drive over to pick up my antibiotic prescription, but then she called and said her rehearsal was running late and she wouldn’t get out until after the pharmacy closed. Richard offered to pick it up, but he would have had to take the bus and it would have taken him two hours round trip and he had an exam the next day, so I didn’t want to ask him. Amanda got it for me the next day, but by then I had missed three doses. Maybe that’s why the incision got infected and I had to go back to the hospital.”</p>
<p>I sent you a PM.</p>
<p>I know for many people the expense of flying out on short notice and than staying in a hotel room could be more than what they could comfortably afford. If work or money is not a big issue I would suggest flying out as soon as you could. During one of my sons college years we drove to school (an easy 4 1/2 hour drive) and stayed in hotel room with him so that we were able to ensure he was eating and taking it easy. I know he greatly appreciated it and has brought it up many times. Your daughter might not expect you to go but I am sure she would love to see mom.</p>
<p>I’d fly out too, despite her protests. Not for a long stay, just long enough to see with my own eyes that she’s going to be OK.</p>
<p>Hugs to you, mom. My D texted me yesterday that she’s sick, probably just a virus, but still… it’s so hard not to be with them.</p>
<p>I would be on the next plane. S2 had really bad mono and I almost went. Fortunately, no hospitalization. S1 had appendicitis at home on the 4th of July, 3 days before I was scheduled to leave on a work trip to Europe. He wanted mom when he got home (he was 26) and my TLC and favorite foods. It was hard to leave on my trip but I could see was fine and S2 was there to take care of groceries and cooking. </p>
<p>Those first couple of days, even though the laparascopic surgery is easier, it is still hard to get up and down. She may still be a tad groggy from the anesthetic. Unless she is in her own apt. I would get a room in a suite hotel and offer lots of TLC for at least a couple of days. I know S2 was afraid to bother his roommates too much to go for food and bring him stuff to drink.</p>
<p>One of my daughter’s friends also had an emergency appendectomy right before finals week her freshman year. Friend’s parents spoke to doctor after the surgery and then the mom did fly down the next morning and spent 48 hours recuperating with her in a hotel. Another friend’s d had bad reaction to antibiotic she received along with stitches from a dog bite at the beginning of her senior year and the parents had to go to campus with her as she spent a week in hospital on IV. They needed to have housing find her a single room on-campus as off-campus housing was not sterile enough environment and also get an on-campus parking spot in a preferred lot so that she would not have to walk so far. It depends on your situation and while most recoveries are perfectly fine… if it was me, I would fly out and spend a few days depending on the situation.</p>
<p>Is there a family member or friend in D’s area?</p>
<p>Thank you for all the concern, the kind words, the advice and the PMs. My D is now back at her sorority house. She is adamant that she doesn’t want me to come out so I’m going to respect that for now. She’s tired and sore but very comfortable at her sorority house and is surrounded by friends all who seem very happy to help. She’s in a very large double and rooms with a good friend–she also goes to an urban school in a downtown area with a CVS right down the street. </p>
<p>The advice to email the dean and her professors is excellent. There’s no school Monday so she has a day or two to take care of that as she just might not be able to walk to all of her classes on Tuesday, assuming she even feels well enough to attend.</p>
<p>So, I’m just starting to breathe again. She’s resting now and I’ll be anxious to get an update tonight. She’s very health concious and will definitely follow the doctors orders so I’m not concerned about that… I’m still open to flying out and having her join me at a hotel but, at just about 21, I want to respect her wishes as to how she recovers.</p>
<p>I did find a deli with a delivery service and chicken soup will be arriving later today. Even if she can only eat the broth or, well, if it doesn’t even taste good, I just had a need to do SOMETHING! Again, thanks for all well wishes–what a great group of parents!</p>
<p>Bet if you tell us the city, someone here will have a suggestion for food deliveries!</p>
<p>Glad she is on the mend. I’m sure you’ll be happy each time you talk to her.</p>
<p>OH…make sure her roommate and maybe one other good friend have YOUR phone number in their cell phones…just in case.</p>
<p>P.S. According to the Good buy of the day thread, Harry and David is having a sale on their pears.</p>
<p>Just curious, but don’t a lot of colleges have infirmaries on site? Mine had one and you could stay there to recover from something like this. They had 24 hour nurses if needed.</p>