Caltech [$90k+] vs Columbia [$90k+] vs UCSD [full ride] CS/AI

Again, I’m still 50/50 myself.

UCSD: Part of me is worried that my parents are right. Or the resources available at Caltech will actually be significantly beneficial, and UCSD won’t be as great as I view it currently. Then it becomes a, I should’ve listened, why did I do this to myself.

Caltech: Even if I don’t really have the best fit, it can’t end up that poorly. Plus, if there are major ■■■■ ups in the future, I (probably) don’t have to blame it on my college choice & my own decisions.

In the end, what’s the outcome?

People act like if they go to college A, they’ll be flipping burgers and if they go to college B hey can make a career.

That’s not how it works. People from “no name” schools manage kids that went to Harvard, etc.

So it’s likely your choices are both incredible - assuming you do the work.

Listen, you can be one to second guess everything in life.

I read several times on various posts what a parent above wrote about Cal Tech - not taught by Profs because they are researching, isolation, eating from Uber Eats.

That sounds lonely, stressful, and depressing.

You state you already had mental health challenges.

No college is easy…none.

But UCSD has a residential college system. There will be dining halls and team work and more.

In the end, you will be somewhere four years, day after day. All three will be stressful.

But, at least based on what was described above, one can cause someone to crack.

If you already know that’s been an issue in your past, why set yourself up for that.

You are not making a choice between a life in poverty and a life as a successful industry person. Both, all three, are going to get you there.

I’ve never heard anyone say UCSD, especially in STEM, lacks “prestige” - and prestige doesn’t bring success. Hard work brings success.

Good luck.

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I think a gap year can be good for combatting academic burnout. My husband actually went to Sweden for a year as an exchange student before matriculating at Caltech. Learned a new language – stayed with a different family – experienced a new culture! (note: you do actually have to go to school when you’re an exchange student, but the focus is on learning the language and culture and in my experience, nothing like the intensity of a high-performing high school where you’re gunning for a top college.)

I’m senioritising well enough to get out of burnout, and I sort of need to be highly productive to feel sane, but thanks for the advice anyways :slight_smile:

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Don’t give a crap what other people think/say. This is about YOU and the best path for YOU.

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Right or wrong this is the reality of people’s perceptions well beyond the Bay Area. I understand and respect the desire to think and act independently beyond popular conceptions but ultimately you will pursue a career that will be impacted by how people perceive your education.

Attending a school like Caltech conveys a degree of rigor and intellectual ability that is somewhat unique. Some may debate the validity or impact of this reputation but its existence is not debatable.

There is a reason you never hear Caltech or other elite school’s alum or parents saying “I choose Caltech but could have gone to (lesser school name)”. Conversely, you will frequently hear folks validating themselves by describing what elites they could have attended or boasting of an entirely theoretical identical outcome. Perhaps it’s true but the prospect of having to look back and wonder “what if” would give me pause.

Your parents have the financial capacity to be encouraging you to metaphorically stay at the Ritz Carleton and eat the finest of steaks. I would suggest thanking your parents and enjoy the accomodations and meal as such opportunities are far and few between.

Once again good luck.

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Would your family be open to your doing your undergrad at UCSD and then a master’s at CalTech?

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@green_green

For the UC’s, they give priority to California community college transfers over 4 year university transfers but it is possible to transfer from Caltech to UCSD. UC’s accept Junior level transfers so spending 2 years at Caltech may be required. Also the UC’s do not have course articulation agreements with private universities so matching the Caltech courses to the UCSD courses will require some diligence using assist.org as the go between.

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These are all good choices. Please focus on your mental health first and foremost. If you don’t, it may not matter which school you choose if you are struggling.

As for your goal to be a professor, that is wonderful! It is very competitive, but just speaking for myself, I had wonderful relationships with both my undergraduate and graduate school professors, working with them, being invited to their houses, etc. My grad school program was a small group, and we and the faculty interacted academically and with some socially as well. They did not sit stressing in their labs ordering food and eating alone. For them it was neither lonely nor depressing. We were all in labs together, working on projects. It was a great opportunity and experience.

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Those that feel that they should have gone to another school often leave quietly.
It is difficult to admit that you made a mistake. Sticking it out often leads to mental health issues which is a common reason people give for leaving. But what was the problem in the first place? What made the student start doubting themself? What caused their unhappiness? Fortunately, there are a couple of people in this thread who have shared first hand experiences.

I know someone who did their undergrad in engineering at a UC and PhD at a small specialty school similar to Caltech. The school was small and I don’t want to dox them so I going to be a bit vague. They were MISERABLE. They stuck it out mostly because they felt the professor would ruin their reputation if they backed out. Their parents bragged about what their child was doing, but the student was a shell of what they were before entering that PhD program.

I know many, many students who drop out or take years off from Berkeley. It is a rigorous, anonymous, cut throat school and not a good environment for everyone. Fortunately, Berkeley will hold a spot for the students who decide they need to take a year or two off. I’m not sure if Caltech does the same.

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If you see yourself in academia, here’s a thought . Currently, PhD programs in the sciences are funded, but with all the changes happening in higher-ed right now due to the current administration, it is always possible that funded PhD opportunities will be less available. (That’s happening now already but of course the future is unpredictable). If you had to pay for a PhD program (either in full or in part), would your parents use your college fund, that you didn’t spend by going to UCSD, on a PhD program?

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I’ll add that being at odds with parents who want them to go elsewhere can be just as toxic to a student’s mental health.

As OP works through this process, it is important that they bring their parents along on the journey. The parents may thinking of their own feelings or what their friends will think as opposed to what is best for their child. The parents should visit the campuses and speak to students about their experiences along with the student. @green_green, you are very articulate and insightful in this thread. Are you equally insightful and articulate when you are communicating with your parents?

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:100: :100: :100:

If this was a choice between Harvard and The College of New Jersey or Marquette, I could see your point. Schools are similarly-sized, have an array of areas of study, are in locations that are urban or close to state government, etc. So if you want to use this as an example of a Holiday Inn (and there are some very nice Holiday Inns) vs. the Ritz Carlton, then so be it.

But Cal Tech and UCSD are extraordinarily different experiences. It’s not just a matter of the amenities or name brand…it’s a completely different experience. It’s like the difference between someone who loves skiing and is deciding between going to Aspen/the Alps or climbing Mt. Everest with skis on their back and planning to ski their way down (if it’s even possible). Nothing wrong with either option, but they’re extremely different.

As an FYI:

Holiday Inn Aruba

Ritz Carlton Aruba

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I deliberately didn’t diminish UCSD by comparing it to any name brands or even mention it in my analogy. It is a great school!

I do however identify a very few schools to be at the very apex of reputations. Caltech is one of them hence the analogy of having it all.

Not sure where the holiday inn came in but the photo you provided looks lovely.

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UCSD IS a great school! And if Cal Tech was the Ritz Carlton, I needed another well-known brand to complete the analogy, which is why I bought in Holiday Inn. And as the photo illustrates, there are fabulous Holiday Inns out there (just as UCSD is a fabulous option).

P.S. How did your image become @skieurope’s?

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He took my cookie image so seemed only fair. I will change it back I am sure.

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At Caltech you do not get it all. You get a very narrow experience not suitable to everyone. A better example is that in order to get the three Michelin star meal, you have to sleep on a concrete bed. Some only want the meal, and will sacrifice all other amenities for that. That doesn’t suit everyone though.

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I keep going back to @aunt_bea post 17

There is a very narrow type of person Cal Tech is for it seems.

One has one life on this earth.

If that experience isn’t for you, why would you ever seek that? That’s a big chunk of your life with definition- isolation, etc.

I know it’s your parents. I could never push my kids to that unless it was tailor made to them.

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OP just to confirm a few things, please correct me if I am wrong.

1- Your parents know you well.
2- Your parents love you and have your best interest in mind.
3- Your parents were smart and capable such that they set aside $400kish for your education fund.
4- Your parents are encouraging you to attend Caltech one of the premier academic institutions in the world.

I stand on this comment from up thread. Seemingly your parents are now being vilified by the implication you are being forced to attend some hell hole.

Not sure how any of us collective strangers could assume we know you well enough to give fully informed advice but we certainly don’t know enough to question your parents actions or motivations.

I am sure you know this but they sound amazing. Some parents limit their kids by setting budgets which takes the decision away from the student. In your case your parents are giving you more options to consider independent of cost.

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It doesn’t seem to be a financial issue. It’s seems as if it’s about fit for the OP.

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