I don’t know why it’s a big deal if parents ask questions. I’ve done lots of tour with my 2 oldest kids and most were a plane ride away. If we’re going through that time and expense we’re going to at least ask some questions. Some questions I asked, some my kids asked, didn’t really matter to my kids nor did the tour guides seem to care. I think most tour guides love answering questions because giving the same tour every day can get pretty old. Sometime if you walk beside the tour guide they’ll answer a question more honestly than they will to the whole group. My S22 is very social so we would often ask quietly, “what do kids really do on weekends?”. We’d usually get a more honest response than the standard “oh we have 200 clubs and you can start your own if you like”.
Some other things we liked to ask:
Are sporting events well attended? What’s the most popular sport for spectators? How many intramurals do you have, how hard is it to get on a team? You could ask similar questions for musical performances or art shows or whatever your student is into.
Do many kids go home on weekends?
Is it a bar school or a house party school?
What’s you favorite/least favorite course you’ve taken?
Where did you eat most of your meals as a freshman? (Thai often tells you if the cafeteria food is actually any good).
Who was your favorite professor and why?
How many hours on average do you do homework in a day? What do you do the rest of the day?
What was your biggest class size? Who was your favorite professor and why?
Obviously we wouldn’t ask all these questions on every tour. You don’t want to be the student or parent that monopolizes the whole tour.
We also like to spend time walking around campus on our own. Eat in the cafeteria if you can and observe if kids are socializing or on their phones. Strike up a conversation with a random student and ask them a couple of your questions. Walk through campus and off campus on a Fri or Sat night and see what kids are doing. See if kids smile at you and hold open doors. Drive or walk around the surrounding areas (all four sides, not just where the school entrance is). Eat at a local student hangout for lunch or dinner.