I am currently on a robotics team at high school, but I am considering leaving the team. One of our head coaches is very stubborn and unreasonable, and he gets his way regardless of any protests. He also has the tendency to yell at students, and in general the team hates him or is scared of him. Last week, he disbanded the subteam that I led without any notice to me beforehand. This, coupled with others following his attitude toward my subteam, has led me to an emotional breakdown and the realization that I do not want to be on this team any longer.
However, I am scared to leave because I am afraid that this mentor will write negative letters to colleges to impact my application. So my question is whether a university will take into account such letters (which are non-recommendation letters) and if they do, will they give me a chance to explain myself?
Would he really do that?! i feel like he probably wouldn’t go to that trouble. Also does he know where you’re applying?
I’m so sorry you went through this. I recently had to leave a sports team, and it stinks!
Don’t ask him for a letter of recommendation. Problem solved.
You can get letters from: your teachers and coaches.
-from your clergyman,
-from your scout leaders,
-letters from your employer
-letters from community leaders.
@arimatt He knows at least two schools I’m applying to, because they are common for engineering majors. I’m not sure if he would go to the trouble, but I’m scared to test it out.
@“aunt bea” I already have my recommendations done, and none are from him. I’m just worried that he might send off a separate letter to the admissions office regardless.
I doubt he will do that. Can you talk to one of the other coaches/mentors about this person’s behavior? I’m asking because I’ve been a mentor for a HS robotics team in the past. I know there are great mentors/coaches, but I also know there are awful ones.
I’d try that before quitting. If you do quit, don’t go in an emotional huff. Send an email if it is easier saying you’ve decided not to participate this year so you can focus on other activities and the college process. If you do that, I can’t see how they would even have any cause to complain (which I still doubt they would do).
Sorry this guy is making it no fun. I loved my time with my team.
I guess I am wondering if you’ve behaved badly in some way. Coaches don’t write letters just because someone quit a team. Maybe you are just paranoid – or is there something else going on?
@intparent I have not behaved badly, but I do hold a leadership position on the team. However, with the merge of the two subteams, my job has pretty much changed to paper pusher as I am no longer allowed to train new team members at meetings. Leadership is a very big commitment, but if I do quit I plan on completing everything necessary for build season and successor. I know that I should remain on the team, but right now even thinking about the team makes me cry.
Well… I do have to ask. Do you think the merger of the two subteams was done for any good reason? Our team had changes in the subteams from year to year. The thing is that the work to be done remains very much the same. You still need to design, build, put together a practice area, raise money, do outreach/communication, complete entries for awards, etc. It sounds like your pride is hurt because you essentially lost your leadership role. One thing about being on a team is that sometimes you have to be flexible and pitch in where the need is greatest, not where you’d most like to be. And not everyone gets to be a team lead – it still might be better to be on the team and participating that quitting. If your friends are still on the team, maybe you should stick around. Maybe you can work on something you haven’t done before and build some new skills (programming, etc).
If your team is one of the big ones, maybe the roles are really well defined and that isn’t possible. But if your team is smaller (like ours was), almost every team needed help, and there were always tasks to be done if someone wasn’t busy.
I’m sympathetic that you are angry with that coach, though, and feel like you might have trouble working with them. But if you’ve put a lot of years and energy into the team, you should feel like it is your team, too – and maybe you need to check your emotions and not let him drive you out. Just saying it is something to think about.