<p>So…I’ve been on Facebook maybe a week. Last night I got a friend request from a sister in law that I can’t stand (the wife of my husband’s evil twin). I really don’t want that family in my business. Can I just ignore the request (never comfirm it) and if asked, claim I didn’t see email/deleted it/was too busy? My kids say I should change my status to “Giving up Facebook for Lent.”</p>
<p>I just *knew *that even in adult hands, Facebook would present sticky issues!</p>
<p>No advice to give you, but sympathy!!!</p>
<p>I just signed up last week also (but haven’t put a pic or “status” yet!) and had my first request for a “friend” yesterday. Weird, but I feel like I have to really mull over who to accept and who NOT to!</p>
<p>Ugh, missypie - I’m dealing with this too. </p>
<p>My kids suggested I accept the friend request now, and then quietly defriend them in a few weeks. There’s no notice given when you defriend; their “friends count” will just drop by one. Obviously this works better for kids, who tend to have friend lists well into the hundreds and might not notice (or figure out who it was), than for parents, whose lists may be smaller.</p>
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<p>Yeah, I think I’m up to 11 now. LOL.</p>
<p>I have found a couple of old boyfriends on Facebook and have sent them messages but have not requested to be their friends…don’t want to put them in the position of deciding whether or not to let an old girlfriend in.</p>
<p>So you can still send messages but not be someone’s friend? I need a facebook rules/regulations/options seminar!!!</p>
<p>Are you sure that friends don’t get a notice when you drop them as a friend? I really don’t know, but would like to know if that is definitely true…</p>
<p>^^^yup, this is the exact reason I don’t want to/will not join Facebook…there are definitely people I don’t want to be contacted by…</p>
<p>abasket, positive. People do not get notified when they’re defriended. And as for sending messages without being somebody’s friend, you can definitely do that, if you can find them in a search.</p>
<p>There are lots of different ways to configure your profile privacy, rodney. You can make yourself un-searchable, for example, and that way people can only contact you if you’ve asked them to. The problem (as is the case for me and, I suspect, missypie) is then pretty much reduced to well meaning relatives who tell other relatives where to find you. . . .</p>
<p>Thanks Harriet, that’s good to know…</p>
<p>Here is what one of my nieces did-She set up a second facebook account that was for the adults in her life! Somehow she has her real facebook hard to find. She set up the dummy account, I am guessing with another email address, and then friended the adults that wanted to be friends. She at first declined their request, but they didn’t know that; you don’t get a notification when someone declines. What is funny is that these adults don’t seem to realize that this college student only has 6 friends and they are all adults!! </p>
<p>This might be a good idea for people you feel you should friend, but don’t want them seeing what your close friends write on your wall.</p>
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<p>That’s really smart of her. I think that most teens just accept all requests. There’s this kind of creepy older lady at our church…She must have sat down with the church directory and looked up every name on facebook, because she is “friends” with all these teens and college students that I doubt have ever spoken to her in real life.</p>
<p>haha…snowball, that is exactly what my daughter did! I too am a facebook geek…I think I also have about 11 freinds…I haven’t actually recruited any, but accepted this gang. So, I asked my daughter to freind me, and she said…uhh…sorry, but no mom…so, she ended up starting another facebook account, with me, and a few “safe” freinds…I actually felt bad, cause she didn’t have any freinds…so, I asked her about it. She thought it was really funny, that I didn’t realize that she has her family/teachers/future employers site set up now, lol.</p>
<p>I told you I was a facebook geek!</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I did have one person that I accepted who turned out to be kind of insane…The wife of one of my husbands freinds. She would send me 100 different types of things, snowball requests, sending hugs…etc. It drove me pretty crazy. I actually defreinded her, cause my kids said the other person doesn’t know:)</p>
<p>There was an article recently in the NYT about how to keep your parents from seeing your “real” facebook. After that my girl’s FB became a lot more opaque. To me that’s fine but I miss her frequent updates.</p>
<p>One S has ignored my request to friend him even though he is friends w/ other family members my age. So be it. FB is just another way to keep in touch w/ people I otherwise wouldn’t hear from or about very frequently. I love the photos.</p>
<p>I heard that on Facebook you can define contact groups: Friends, Business, Church, etc. That way, Business contacts don’t see your personal stuff. If so, you can set up a group for Relatives, and assign her to that group. Then limit the access of that group to only the most mundane stuff.</p>
<p>That’s a great option OperaDad if it’s possible. Anyone know how to do it?</p>
<p>I opened my account partially for work, partially for curiousity. I don’t expect either to be very active - but would love to be able to keep them somewhat divided.</p>
<p>I just joined last night so I’m reading this avidly.</p>
<p>At the top of your Facebook page is the word “Settings”. Place your mouse pointer over it and a menu will drop down; then click “Privacy Settings,” and you’re off to the races. Fiddle with this a bit and you will see that you have a lot of flexibility in defining groups of friends with limited access to your profile and other information.</p>
<p>You can also be proactive and block specific people by name. You will find this option on the bottom of the Privacy Settings page. They will be unable to find you in a facebook search, and therefore won’t be able to send you a friend request or to even tell that you’re on Facebook at all.</p>
<p>I look at it like the door bell or the phone. Just because I’m home doesn’t mean I have to answer it, and I owe no explanation as to why. </p>
<p>Perhaps a simple “I’m using it for networking, not socializing”.</p>
<p>“Oh, didn’t I friend you? I can’t get the hang of this consarned newfangled Internet tube or whatever. I’ll certainly take another look.”</p>
<p>“Oh, didn’t I friend you? I can’t get the hang of this consarned newfangled Internet tube or whatever. I’ll certainly take another look.” </p>
<pre><code>Im with Hunt…one of the few advantages of being older is that we can play the IDIOT card when dealing with the world-wide intrawebby thingy.
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