<p>Hi, my son is applying to Roxbury Latin. The school gave us two forms to fill out. One is titled parent statement and the other student statement. At the very top of the student statement, it says that it needs to be completed by the student without “assistant from anyone”. Yes my son is completing it on his own, but this is his very first time to apply for anything, and I found that he is missing things, and could definitely do better in answering some questions. I am so torn, as I really want to point all these out to him but know that he cannot get assistance from anyone. Does anyone has experience with situation like this? What can I do?</p>
<p>Asking him "Are you sure you have done your best? and getting him to check and recheck is probably OK. At least his application will show that you followed the rules. :-)</p>
<p>Wilburig: you should let him complete the student statement without assistance. </p>
<p>I know it’s hard to resist the temptation to help. However, remember that the people who will read the form work with teen boys. They know what a form looks like when a boy has filled it out without assistance. They will not hold it against him. </p>
<p>Remember, his statement is not the only piece of paper in his file. They have his grades and test scores, the teacher recommendations, and the interview report.</p>
<p>If he is missing factual items, like hobbies, extra-curriculars, awards, etc., I would not hesitate to point this out. Sometimes kids forget, or don’t realize how important these things are. At the start of the app process, I made a list of these sorts of things for my son, and gave it to him. He used it for reference when he completed the forms.</p>
<p>If, on the other hand, he has the facts but you think it reads a little raw or rough, you might encourage him to look it over and to edit, but I would do nothing more than that. It’s totally appropriate if it looks like a kid wrote it. I actually think it could work to his advantage, because AO’s want kids who really want to attend their school. A somewhat raw but genuine statement is just fine.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much. Your advices are very helpful.</p>
<p>Tell him that you can’t help because it is against the guideline and you wanted to see him complete on his own. Maybe indicate that you saw some points were missing in your opinion and ask him to find what they were. </p>
<p>I respect your stance that you want to observe the rules and guideline. And I believe it would be better to let your child know about it. Many parents actually help their children write an essay and I don’t want to make any value judgement. When my son wrote his essays, we tried to reiterate the question points but did not guide him with the structure & content at all. We found some schools came up with essay questions that were so vague that even adults could not clearly understand.</p>
<p>But I think general guidance on how to approach applications is fine, as well as preliminary work with him on what information should be included. I think the app process for a kid that age should be more of a learning experience than a test. Most young teens have never completed an application for anything, and completing applications is a very important skill they will need for future educational and job pursuits. I don’t feel they need to learn this by trial and error; some guidance from an experienced adult is a good thing.</p>
<p>During the prep school app process, I frequently asked my son to step back and read his own answers as if he were an AO. How would he interpret that paragraph? What would he think about a student who wrote that? This helped him realize that sometimes his words implied something that he did not mean to say, or omitted something that he did want to convey.</p>
<p>I think this was a great learning experience for him, and during the process, I often reminded him that even if he got no acceptances, he will have gained valuable experience in applying and interviewing. Now I know he is already well prepared to deal with the college app process independently; I have complete confidence in his ability to do so. More importantly, he does, too.</p>
<p>So well said. I am new to CC, and touched by the help that you all offer me. Thanks a lot</p>
<p>Wilburig, I just looked up Roxbury Latin’s website. If your son is in the sixth grade, I advise you to give him general advice, but nothing more. There’s a certain quality in the writing of very bright 11 and 12 year olds, which I think comes across in the prose. Yes, sixth grade boys leave things out. That’s what they do. It’s normal, even for the hyper-bright. Ignore the warning at your peril.</p>
<p>If he took the ISEE, the admissions team will have a sample of his writing in the package. Again, I do believe admissions people when they say it is easy to detect parental meddling. And while the school was too far away for us to consider, I have the distinct impression that Roxbury Latin takes character Very Seriously.</p>
<p>I hope you are also applying to other great schools in the area which begin in 7th grade. If you live in Boston, have you started applying to Boston Latin? Noble & Greenough School is also in the immediate area.</p>
<p>I think it is helpful to work with your child to get a sort of “cv” to summarize their activities and proud accomplishments (in and outside school). This can be used down the road for many purposes, so work with them to keep it updated and add things as they come up through the years. I had no problem with helping my D make one to use as a reference for her HS applications.</p>
<p>Over dinner we also discussed what she felt made her special, interests other kids may not be so passionate about. Kids have limited self-awareness, and being different is still viewed as a bad scary thing in middle school. She needed some encouragement to feel proud about her interests. </p>
<p>But we did not suggest words or write any part of the essays.</p>
<p>So many great ideas. Thanks. For the form, he really ran out of time and I decided not to meddle and let his “teen boy” show. If he is not successful this year, I will definitely try your great ideas next year. We are only applying for one more school,and both are very selective. He is going to have his interviews in January. That is the thing I am now most dreadful. I am going to post a new post and get some help from this wonderful community.</p>