<p>i’m 21 and I am in community college. I’m self conscious, kind of awkward/boring, anxious, and I want to change. I’ve had a lot of mental health problems in the last 4 years but I am starting to get a little better. the only thing is, I wish I had a better personality and was more sociable. i really want to change and want to work hard on changing, but am i too old to change?</p>
<p>my goal next year is to start going to parties a lot, find a girlfriend for the first time, and have more social experiences so i can develop a better personality. people who are older, do you think this will work? this makes me really depressed sometimes. i want to have a better life. </p>
<p>It is certainly possible, and if you do you wouldn’t be the first who does it. </p>
<p>Sometimes we tend to overthink things too much, which ends up in anxiousness/awkwardness. For social relations in general, overthinking things leads to bad results… so next time you want to make a joke/flirt, the best method would be to simply say to yourself “■■■ it” and go ahead with it. You’ll fail a lot, but dont let that discourage you cause it only means that you are getting better at it.</p>
<p>i do overthink things. i’m working with a therapist to try to improve. i wasn’t always like this though, when i was 15 i was still a little awkward but at least i was funny and engaging. i hope i can get better. any other advise please would help, i need hope. i feel so old and feel like i missed out on so much it’s really dispiriting.</p>
<p>I agree with above comments about over thinking. People who are self conscious or prone to anxiety frequently over think and over focus on how others are perceiving them. Chances are, others are not scrutinizing your every move. My suggestion is to join a club that you are interested in. Common interests give you something in common with the other members (obviously!). Another good way to socialize is to join a campus service group. After you are comfortable in these groups, offer to help organize an event or project. These kinds of activities can often lead to friendships that extend beyond the club. Community service is a great way to re-focus away from you and focus on helping others. It’s a win-win. You have a lot to give to others and it will help you feel good about yourself and result in increased confidence which will make it easier to put yourself out there. Smile, be friendly and good things will come your way. Cheers!</p>
<p>Yeah, personalities can definitely change. A good friend of mine decided that when she entered her freshman year of high school, she was going to change from being an awkward nerdy girl to a popular kid. At first she had to act the part, but by now (senior year), she’s embodied that person and is much more outgoing. The main thing is confidence… and persistence. So it’s never too late to chance the way people see you and the way you view yourself. Take the initiative and change what you don’t like about yourself. It’s never too late!</p>