Can I use this as my opening sentence in personal statement?

College Essays
1

<p>One thing you should know about me right now: I’m an immigrant student. Oh, wait, you probably noticed that on my transcript.</p>

2

<p>I think it should be reworked a little bit. To me, it seems a bit “Oh wow. You’re a dumba**.”</p>

3

<p>“I’m an immigrant student,” is a good enough opening sentence.</p>