Can someone help me with my college essay?

<p>Hey guys. I am applying for EOP at SUNY Stony Brook. For an essay, I am writing to evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk Ive took, or ethical dilemma Ive faced and its impact on me.</p>

<p>[Appeal</a> Essay! Please help? - Yahoo! Answers](<a href=“http://■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■/question/index;_ylt=AgLsnFPpYDWU1fr83XWclbzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091226155259AAKo9oV]Appeal”>http://■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■/question/index;_ylt=AgLsnFPpYDWU1fr83XWclbzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091226155259AAKo9oV)</p>

<p>I wrote it on this site, so can you please tell me what you think about it? Thank you</p>