Can someone please check dis essay!! got exam in 1 day!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>CB ONLINE TEST 5#</p>

<p>Many people believe that “closed doors make us creative.” These people argue that obstacles and restrictions are necessary, for without them we would never be forced to come up with new solutions. But “closed doors,” either in the form of specific obstacles or a lack of opportunities, often prevent people from reaching their full creative potential.</p>

<p>Do closed doors make us creative?</p>

<p>Do closed doors make us creative?Though many people say that closed doors impinge with potential , in fact , closed doors are the key to establishing full creative potential . I have read and seen three compelling examples of such in my life</p>

<p>Not many years ago , in 2001 , lived a young recluse J.K. Rowling. She was a failure in life , nearly bankrupt , to the extent she lived in her sisters home. However by 2003 she was one of the most famous , successful and talented writers of the world. Having earned not thousands but millions through her success of creating ‘Harry Potter’. Had she not been forced into the poor conditions in 2001 she would have still been lurking around for another stupid job locking her potential in the deep seas of her mind</p>

<p>Now , for instance lets look at Jonathan , a friend of mine who was the lowest scorer in class , earned horrible scores in the SAT and was as dumb as my 10 year old brother. The world looked down at him for he was of no value , no importance in a world of demands. But this situation gave him the determination to succeed . And amusingly today he has become one of the worlds top entrepreneurs for a firm which help students for self-motivation. Jonathan could have only achieved this because of his childhood experience of being isolated behind closed doors</p>

<p>One last example that intimidated me the most was that according to recent research by an IA(Intelligence Agency) . Statistics showed that the most creative people in this world are those who have come from ‘rags to being riches’. Just to name a few, like Dhirubhai Ambani , Bill Gates and even Lakshmi Mittal.</p>

<p>For now we can see from the success of people like J.K Rowling , Jonathan and other great celebrities that they all have arisen from nothingness to a stage of self-actualization of achieving full potential. Closed doors will always persevere us to become stronger and more creative as we attempt to find a new way out. As many people say ‘Where there is a will there is a Way’</p>

<p>Hey guys please comment and score and give ur feed back m really not sure how to grade my essay tthough i feel i did a fairly good job.While typing i realisd that i had made some grammatical errors but few are exempted in SAt rite…</p>

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<p>hey can someone PLEASE PLEASE AND TONS OF PLEASES chek my essay…please dont just view…grade it out of 12…:frowning: …help…got 50 viewers but no replies…</p>

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<p>I think your essay is a little off topic. In my opinion, ‘close doors’ means not listening to or taking others’ advice. People just close off
The advantage is that they will not be affected by others’ advice (they cannot think creatively). The disadvantage is that sometimes they cannot know whether their ideas are suitable or not. So what do you think?
Hope this will help :)</p>

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<p>hey buddy thanks for the reply but isnt this wat the prompt say… think it makes sense…doesnt it But “closed doors,” either in the form of specific obstacles or a lack of opportunities</p>

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<p>Here’s what I thought while reading your essay. Hope some of these suggestions will turn out to be helpful to you this Saturday.</p>

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<p>Is “impinge” the right word? “Impinge” means to impose or to intrude, so I thought it made little sense to say “closed doors impose with potential”. Do you mean to say, “closed doors hinder/hamper/deter creative potential?” Those word choices may work better. Also, “establishing full potential”? You can encourage innate potential to blossom, but establishing it…? Also, your second sentence of the paragraph is a sort of a run-on. </p>

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<p>The phrase “lived a young recluse J.K. Rowling” is a fragment of a sentence that cannot stand on its own. Change it to “Not many years ago, there lived a young recluse named J.K. Rowling.” The mentioning of “not many years ago” along with “in 2001” is redundant. </p>

<p>“Sisters” should be “sister’s”, the possessive form.</p>

<p>“Having earned not thousands but millions through her success of creating ‘Harry Potter’” is another blatant fragment. Combine this to the previous sentence with a comma.</p>

<p>I think you should elaborate on your last point a little more, because this is the central point of the paragraph. Clarify your statement more. Also, I would change the sentence to “Had she not been forced into the poor conditions back in 2001, she would still have been lurking around for another stupid job that would continue to lock her potential inside the deep seas of her mind.” That may make what you’re trying to say a little clearer.</p>

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<p>“Lets” –> “let’s”</p>

<p>“And amusingly, today, he has become one of the worlds top entrepreneurs OF a firm which HELPS (firm is singular) students WITH (idiom) self-motivation.” </p>

<p>Change the last sentence to “Jonathan only achieved this…”. Here again, expand on the last part: “closed door” is a metaphorical term used to describe a lack of opportunity or excess restrictions, not a physical impediment. How did you friend face a lack of opportunity or some form of restriction? You wrote that he did poorly academically, but that doesn’t mean he lacked opportunity.</p>

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<p>Lol, “intimidated”? :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>Change one of the sentences there to “…they all have arisen from nothingness to a stage of self-actualization so that they were able to achieve full potential.” By the way, closed doors cannot “persevere” you, only to make you persevere. :slight_smile: (Wrong use of the verb there.) Change it to something like encourage/prompt/push/inspire/fuel, etc.</p>

<p>The essay is good in general, but main problem is that at various points in your essay, you’re digressing from the prompt. Pay close attention to the statement given in the prompt (“These people argue that obstacles and restrictions are necessary, for without them we would never be forced to come up with new solutions. But “closed doors,” either in the form of specific obstacles or a lack of opportunities, often prevent people from reaching their full creative potential.”), and try to refer back to it as often as possible. </p>

<p>Anyway, good luck on your SAT coming up!</p>

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<p>thanks alot… i cant thank u more for such wonderful help…yea it makes clear sense what u say… dammit i just wish i get time to proofread… could help with so many grammatical errors…phewww this realy made me learn…one more day to go… by da way wat would ya grade it…just askin outta curiousity…thanks…</p>