can someone proof read my common app essay please? And can you tell me if its good ?

<p>Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.</p>

<p>On October 8, 2005 my life changed dramatically when my mom announced that I would be migrating to Jamaica to complete my secondary education. Despite my many protest I could not persuade her to change her mind. So on October10, 2005 I moved to live with my grandparents in Jamaica. Everything was different from the language, the food, the dress. It was a complete culture shock and nothing like I expected. It took me a little while to adjust but when I did I became more determined than ever that the move would not deter me from getting into my dream college.
The week after I arrived I was enrolled to attend Quest preparatory school. I worked twice as hard as others in my class to prepare for the grade six achievement exam scheduled for March of that year. It seemed impossible as I was a year behind my classmates but I was determined to excel. Despite the doubts from my classmates, teachers and family I surpassed all expectations when I passed for one of the top five schools in the island St. Andrew High School for Girls.<br>
St. Andrew High School for Girls is one of the top five schools in Jamaica. It was at this institution that the real hard work began. My class consisted of the smartest young ladies from all over the corporate area. The teachers expected the best from us and held us to an extremely high standard. The course load was very tedious as it was their aim to prepare us to pass the Caribbean secondary examination. I tried my best to excel in my academic studies however there were times when I felt like giving up on my dream but my teachers were always there to support me. My economic teacher Mrs. Abigail James once told me “you have big dreams the only thing stopping you from reaching them is you. Don’t stop fighting”. This was the push I needed I promised myself I would never stop fighting till I achieved my dream.
After 5 years, over 40 months the moment had finally arrived. There are no words to fully express the feeling that overwhelmed me when I found out I had passed my examinations with distinctions. I was so ecstatic to know that all my hard work had paid off. This experience taught me not only that there is nothing you cannot do when you set your mind to a goal but also that determination is not an end result but it is a key ingredient to success.<br>
Coming to Jamaica was an obstacle on my road to my dream college but I refuse to let it stop me from achieving my dream. I have gained all the prerequisites necessary to apply and now more than ever I’m determined to get in. I believe that all my hard work to get into my dream college will pay off just like it did before in my exams. I hope to receive the much sought after acceptance letter I have been dreaming about my entire life.</p>

<p>There’s some small things you could changes through out. Some repetition. A run on sentence or two but I would first work on that last paragraph. Dream is every other word and you should definitely mention what getting into your dream college will do for you. How will it help you reach your professional goals. You could maybe tie it in to the overall theme of working hard. Example: In the future I hope to become a “blank” but before I can achieve that I know there is much work ahead of me. However, I know that as I’ve done before I will once again meet this new challenge head on."</p>