Can someone read my college essay?

<p>It's incredibly cheesy, like beyond cheesy but I just really need help!
The prompt is:
Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>

<p>send me your email, or pm me and ill send it to you.
I need someone who will really completely take it apart and critique it.
It's not something I want to send.</p>