Can someone read my essay and tell me if it's strong?

College Essays
1

I dont need editing because i already submitted it. I just want to get feedback on my essay. thanks. I’ll pm to whomever is willing.

2

I’ll be glad to read it.

3

I could take a look if you want.

4

I’ll read it.

5

I wouldn’t mind reading it

6

I’m willing

7

I’ll read it

8

@capitalamerica‌ I pm’ed you the work. Thanks!

9

@dancingwriter‌ I pm’ed you also. thank you!

10

Sure! I can read it, too.