<p>Topic: “Books that have affected you the most”</p>
<p>The Kama Sutra is the ancient Indian text on love and sexuality written by Vatsayana and it has affected me in so many ways. When I go out to hang out on the streets and chillax with my friends, the Kama Sutra is so “handy” (get it?) in so many ways. Our tools of the trade come directly from this book. When we want to hook up with some chicks at a party, or drink beers illegally (haha just kidding!) we know where we want to go. The Kama Sutra is like totally the dude’s guidebook to life. When I get into you, Harvard, you’ll know where it’s at.</p>
<p>I remember one time I was at some nerd camp my parents paid for, I think it was like People to People or something, and my friends and I thought it would be so cool if we bought this book at the Borders across the street! So we all bought a copy of the Kama Sutra and then we like started giggling as we read the pages, but all of a sudden, a swift, big, black hand came out of no where! My camp counselor scolded us and yelled at us and said that we had to return the books to the bookstore and that our parents would be called and we’d be in deep shet. I learned a lot from this experience with this book, and that next time I decide to buy a porno, I should keep it under my shirt.</p>
<p>Being smart is really important. I learned to be smart from this book and also from school. This year I’m taking Algebra 1 HONORS, which is really advanced and hard to grasp. we’re learning something cool right now, like “FOIL,” which I don’t really understand because since when is math related to aluminum. That’s more like science, or something… like biology. Being smart is an incredulously and incredibly important skill that we all need. As I mentioned before, it’s a tool of my trade; my trade is being smart and picking up the girls. So this book really changed my viewpoints on life, society, the world, and God so I hope I conveyed this point thoroughly and appropriately to you.</p>
<p>As mentioned before, the Kama Sutra helped me with the ladies. And so did Justin Bieber. But anyways I want to tell you that it shows that we all need to be relaxed and just chill out, take a smoke, and kick back. You Harvardites or Harvardians or whatever you freaks call yourselves are just too worried and nervous. I say you all go to your COOP and buy this book because it changed my life for the better. Because being relaxed is the key to success. And this book has influenced me by doing so.</p>
<p>Besides being an erotic fantasy, this book was also great and influenced me in many ways. As you can see, my experience and unfortunate memory with this book was so cool because it taught me a lesson. The next time I decide to be a smart alleck I should be smarter about it. It also taught me to appreciate God. And it also helped me with the ladies and now I can relax and just chillax all the time. I’m totally looking forward to taking that gap year in Cancun after you admit me. Most importantly, since this is a book after all, which is full of words and paper, it makes me smarter. So smart. And that’s what Harvard is. A place for smart people. So accept me harvard! I’m smart now and I’ve learned my lesson! My mind has been opened to the world. You better let me into you so we can have a good time or else I will come up there and find you in New Heaven.</p>