I just took a full length practice this morning. The topic is:
Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
My essay:
Humans have always been portrayed as greedy power-hungry creatures by nature. One’s morals are often not strong enough to resist the temptation of money or power. Even those with the most powerful consciences can fall prey to the vices that are money, fame, and power. The evidence throughout literature and history is very pervasive.
In the novel Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Pip grows up as a poor worker boy living with his kind uncle Joe. He was mentored by Joe throughout his childhood and taught that although they were in a tough position financially, as long as they were kind to others, they could weather through any dilemma. However, when Pip was older and had to choose between a well-paying job but leaving Joe behind, or continuing as a carpenter but still supporting Joe, he easily chose money over family. Despite the morals he had grown up with, Pip had no qualms about leaving Joe behind. The temptation of money and power was stronger than his conscience.
Similarly, during the Russian revolution in the early 20th century, conflicted erupted between the two clashing political parties - the Mensheviks and the Bolsheviks. Nicholas Kabelovsky was one of the leaders of the Bolsheviks, the party that believed Russia should slowly ease into a new form of government, whereas the Mensheviks believed that violence was the answer to developing a new Russian society. Kavelovsky devoted much of his adult life to assisting the Bolsheviks’ cause, as he thought his people would be better off under their rule. However, near the end of the revolution, the Mensheviks recognized Kabelovsky as a threat and offered him one of the highest ranks in their army. Kabelovsky accepted their offer, throwing away years of hard work for the higher position. His conscience could not overcome the temptation of money and power.
It is no secret that some of mankind’s most inherent vices are the temptation that money, power, and fame hold. Classic literature and history have proven this true time and time again. Even people who have devoted their entire lives to a certain cause or state of behind can turn their backs if it guarantees them luxury. After all, this is only human nature.
I know this is not the strongest essay but I write much better essays when I am not under a time constraint 
Would anyone mind scoring this for me so I have some idea of how I will do on the June 6th SAT?
