“My best friend a reading specialist is sure that they learned from the somewhat embarrassing amount of television we let them watch, all with the close captioning on ( because I personally like to watch TV with close captioning so we always left it on.).”
100% agree @maya54
But the article posted here says that one of the key factors is reading before K. That is why we are commenting on that aspect. And, when they talk about parents using flash cards on little kids, I tend to tune out. Kids that read early spontaneously are very different than kids who are “taught” to read early, at least in my experience.
I really do think a lot of it is genetics and luck. A parent can raise multiple kids the same way and not all will be successful adults. Another parent can be totally derelict in their parental duties, yet have a high achieving student who goes on to become a successful adult. I’m just not convinced based on my life experiences and observations that there is some magic formula. I did, however, believe it when I was raising my D so tried to do “all the right things.” But I think she would have been successful no matter what I did or didn’t do based on who she is. I think she was just born that way.
Some of my mistakes turned out to be a blessing. I vowed never to push my son into rote learning, e.g. learning colors, reading,etc. One day, on the way to the JCC gym, he said 3, 3. What he meant was we went under 3 bridges to get to the gym.
Fast forward, second grade in a Jewish day school. There was a trial-county spelling bee. My son, who never spoke for 4 months when starting school, came in first, beating fifth graders. What a surprise! Suddenly, his school allowed him into advanced classes.
Talk of negligence. He’d go with friends’ family to get the newest Harry Potter book at midnight. As soon as he fell asleep, I’d start reading the book. Once, his friend stayed overnight, cuz his parents were strict. This friend got caught reading under his blankets with a flashlight. So, friend and I shared snacks and reading for a few more hours.
I let my son play video and computer games. I too was an addict to SIMM city. Well, I no longer play games on the computer, but son does.
Ok, you’ll all be ready to criticize me.
@bookworm LOL slacker parents unite! At PTO meetings I used to say my kids raised themselves, I was just there to provide rides, food, and a listening ear.
I do remember one of my sons at age four. He’s pushing a little wooden locomotive around so I say “oh, cool, you’re playing with your trains.” Apparently not: “I’m WORKING with them.”
Yes, kids have their own predispositions. When our kiddo was 3, he was trying to help improve the standardized placement test that the preschool director was trying to administer to him (she gave up). When D was 3, she came home from school and could tell me how each person in her class felt and why–S wouldn’t have had a clue.
The preschool teacher told us that S would take all the dinasaurs in the preschool class into the corner. He’d have all the carnivores kill one another and then play with the herbivores and omnivores. She said she’d never had a child do that before (or since). I never focused on the dietary habits of any of the dinosaurs so no idea where he picked up that info at all, as a 3-year-old.
Trying to claim credit or take the blame for how kids turned out doesn’t really work all that well, since it really seems they were hard-wired to be what they wanted to, at least our kids. I’m glad they seem happy and productive. I have no idea what would have happened if had tried raising them in a different way but have no idea how else to have raised them.