<p>The copout is that you will not take responsibility for your children’s actions… when, sorry, your kids have both your genetics and your tutelage.</p>
<p>So the copout is when parents act like their kid’s (or kids’) missteps are not the fault of the parent.</p>
<p>Pardon me, but parents are incontrovertibly linked.</p>
<p>So you are saying that you never did a single thing that was contrary to your parents’ teachings and never did a single thing that could have had a disastrous outcome but for the grace of God? I am calling bull on that.</p>
<p>prezbucky, We’re parents. We’ve all seen the people, not parents yet, who are absolutely sure that THEIR little darlings will be wonderful, well-behaved children- and then they turn out to be little hellions. It happens, even when the parents are wonderful and do everything right. And we laugh and laugh. zoos is so right when she says “with the pitter patter of little feet come one hundred thousand words to eat.” </p>
<p>I always tell my children that it’s when bad judgment meets bad luck that lives can change or end. I have made mistakes, my kids have made mistakes. They are very good people. Imperfect, but good, smart, hardworking citizens. The only perfect person was born two thousand years ago. The rest of us can only so our best.</p>
<p>It’s also interesting that if one studies history, one realizes that some of the critical views/antipathy towards law enforcement in US pop culture is precisely due to their excesses in past history. </p>
<p>And it wasn’t limited to the Black population though they received the worst of it. </p>
<p>Some songs on this theme from the last 60 years off the top of my head:</p>
<p>I Fought the Law (Sonny Curtis & Crickets/Bobby Fuller 4/Clash/etc)</p>
<p>F*%k The Police (NWA)</p>
<p>Cop Killer (Ice-T)</p>
<p>Police Story (Black Flag)</p>
<p>Sound of da Police (KRS-One)</p>
<p>Fight the Power (Public Enemy)</p>
<p>41 Shots (Bruce Springsteen)</p>
<p>So now here we are passing judgment not just on a dead kid, but on his parents (who, by the way, both seem like good people who have been involved in their son’s life, despite the challenges of growing up where he did). Wow.</p>
<p>cobrat, you forgot the classic “Ohio” by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. That was actually the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the police in Ferguson with their riot gear and armored vehicles.</p>
<p>I forget who asked what, and I’m six beers deep, but here goes:</p>
<ul>
<li>Yes, I have done things my parents would not have been happy about. I have one DUI they know about and one they don’t know about. God was watching out for me, though, as I didn’t run into anything or anyone – I was pulled over for speeding. </li>
</ul>
<p>I legally took the virginity from a woman when I was a freshman. A one night stand. She cried. I still feel terribly about that.</p>
<p>So maybe my own guilt is telling me that if my kids aren’t going to tell me about everything that is going on in their lives, I need to make sure they don’t do what I did. And if they do err, I’ll take it personally.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It isn’t only due to long lapse of time, but also whether that had any bearing on the actions of the cop at the moment it happened. </p>
<p>Considering the initial stop was for jay walking and the cop didn’t know he was a robbery suspect at the time according to the chief of Ferguson’s PD, the tape has little relevance to the stop/shooting and is so highly prejudicial that a decent prosecutor should be fighting to have it excluded at trial. </p>
<p>■■■? You’re a drunk driver? Caught twice, that means you have or had a habit of driving drunk. Did your parents tell you to get behind the wheel drunk? In my world, drunk driving is 100 times worse than shoplifting some cigars.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This general fear and distrust of police among black people (whether or not a given officer or department has the relevant problems) has another not-very-nice effect on black people – criminals may find black people to be easier victims due to reluctance to report crimes to and cooperate with police. Recall that, in the following well known incident, the black victim of various crimes by roommates (false imprisonment, assault, etc.) was initially reluctant to report the crimes to the police (page 4 of the narrative, lines 9 through 13):</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.docstoc.com/docs/163816970/San-Jose-State-University-Police-Incident-Report--”>http://www.docstoc.com/docs/163816970/San-Jose-State-University-Police-Incident-Report--</a></p>
<p>@prezbucky, you ought to delete or edit that post. </p>
<p>–Signed, a parent looking out for you.</p>
<p>Prezbucky. I think those are some pretty egregious actions on your part. I wouldn’t be happy with my kids. When our kids screw up, it breaks our hearts and we eat themselves alive with guilt and regret. Just because we can’t prevent our kids’ mistakes doesn’t mean we don’t feel responsible. But only in very rare circumstances should parents judge other parents, particularly from a distance.</p>
<p>Well the first time I blew .13. I made the mistake of doing 44 in a 35 downtown on mem day weekend. Three days after I got my MBA. (Yeah, seriously…)</p>
<p>The second one, I think was BS. I had had five beers in about 8 hours, yet somehow I blew exactly .08.</p>
<p>But I had already had one. So I took the reduced DUI1 conviction. But I was not drunk. I simply made the mistake of blowing away an undercover cop at a traffic light when it turned green.</p>
<p>I have never hurt anyone in my life. Or stolen from anyone. Which is what this kid did ten minutes before he was shot.</p>
<p>There was no victim in either of my “crimes”. </p>
<p>Keep telling yourself that, prezbucky…</p>
<p>We now return to our scheduled programming.</p>
<p>prezbucky, surely you know how dangerous driving drunk is for anyone unlucky enough to be in the path of an impaired driver. Anyway, I don’t think this digression is relevant to the conversation about a dead kid and a community in turmoil. </p>
<p>You were lucky that you didn’t kill someone. Don’t try to excuse it, don’t try to minimize it, and don’t pretend you weren’t driving drunk when you were. I hope you haven’t continued to drive drunk, and if you do drive after you’re drinking, I hope you don’t live near me.</p>
<p>I hope you don’t commit any sins or crimes, lest your last comment turn you into an hypocrite. </p>
<p>The fact is, I was fine both times. I was in control of myself. The end result is, I hurt nobody. I had full control of my car, as I always have. No accidents in 22 years of driving.</p>
<p>BUT you can be sure I will make sure that my children do not make the same mistakes. Because I will make sure that they know that handcuffs will not be their biggest fears.</p>
<p>I wonder how many parents frequenting College Confidential ( ie., white, middle/upper middle class, or even affluent) have had the experience of dealing with a “rebellious teen” whose actions resulted in a run in with the law: a daughter who was caught pilfering goods at the local mall; a teenage son caught engaging in underage drinking, or smoking pot in a car parked in front of someone’s house; a kid caught vandalizing neighborhood cars, houses, or mail boxes, etc. How many of those kids were leased to the recognizance of their parents with a mere warning, or perhaps simply banned from shopping in the mall; who got off with community service and a subsequent “expunging of their record”; kids who despite these things are now college bound, whose parents swear their little darlings are “basically good kids” who showed a "brief lapse in judgement, or a bit of “youthful exuberance” spurred on by “group think.” How many have been accused of bullying, been in possession of illegal drugs, or selling their Mom’s supply of OxyContin? Were they ever accused of being “thugs”? </p>
<p>Now, how many CC parents did some of these things in their own misguided youth? Looking back on some of the things I observed as a student at an elite Liberal Arts college, I’m willing to guess there are more than a few who engaged in behaviors that would land the average black kid in prison, particularly in the areas of possession, distribution, and use of illegal substances… </p>
<p>If this description ever fit you, were you then, or have you ever since been “a thug?” This a rhetorical question. I don’t expect that anyone will actually admit it. </p>
<p>If your rebellious, but “basically good kid” were to have been shot dead by an Officer of the Law that they encountered, would it be okay with you if most people wrote them off as “felons” who probably had it coming?</p>
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</p>
<p>Actions which impose excessive involuntary risk on others may be considered criminal acts. An analogy would be if you got drunk and shot a gun randomly around town, getting lucky that you did not hit anyone or significantly damage any property.</p>
<p>You can buy your own breathalyzer so that you can be sure that you are at 0.00 before driving.</p>