Can you give me some feedback on my essay?

<p>Here are the links to my essay. Can you give me some feedback, and tell me what you would have scored it? Thanks.</p>

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<p>Prompt: Is it wise to be suspicious of the motives or honesty of other people, even those who appear to be trustworthy? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>bump 10 char</p>

<p>again…10 char</p>

<p>Please type it out.</p>

<p>i apologize for spelling mistakes as i just retyped it.</p>

<p>In modern times, people tend to quesiton the motives of other people, because they believe that people are born inherently bad. This sweeping generalization has no basis in our society, and should be eradicated from the mind of the public. As witnessed through the benevolent acts of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Ghandi, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt, we should not doubt anyone’s altruistic motives.</p>

<p>Gaps in social equality plagued the American society during the 20th century. Dr Martin Luther King Jr stood up for the rights of the African American society, and worked to elminate teh segregation that existed. With his ethos appeal as a reverend, Dr. King utilized silent protests to bring about social changes, and accomplished his goal of desegregation. Dr. King truly had altrusitic motives, and did not hold alterior motives. He achieved his goals wholeheartedly, and did not lose the trust of hte American public for even a second.</p>

<p>Social inequality also existed in teh state of Inda during the 20th century. One political leader, Ghandi, stood up for the rights of the Indian people. Ghandi utilized the same nonviolent protests as MLK to convey his messqage, and successfully impacted Indian society. Ghandi was not involved in any sort of scandel; He accomplished what he set out to do, and did not give anyone a reason to distrust him. his good-hearted spirit exemplifies the type of people that live in our soceity today.</p>

<p>Citizens of the United States frequently assume the wrost about politicians, and ignore what they have to say. However, Franklin Delano Roosevelt only improved our society. Through his New Deal, FDR instituted economic reform taht has bettered our country, such as Social Security. FDR managed to improve the country’s economic situation, and brought the country out of hte economic abyss that was the Great Depression. FDR held no alterior political motives; he did not care about politicla parties, and worked to improve the country’s economy. There was no reason to suspect the motives of FDR.</p>

<p>All in all, people should not doubt other’s motives. Dr. Martin Luther King, Ghandi, and FDR all brought about changes that truly improved our society. These 3 great leaders prove that people are born inherently good. Suspecting the motives of other people is a poor practice, and should be eradicated from our society.</p>

<p>Your introduction is good, but your conclusion is slightly weak and needed more emphasis. As for your choice of examples, they’re too conventional, in the eyes of graders, nonetheless, you were able to connect them appropriately to the topic. However, it’s generally a good essay, with exception for some of the grammatical and vocab errors you’ve made which I’m not sure were made during writing or typing (as you said). 10/12.</p>

<p>I got a 9 on it. Interesting, how one reader thought it was only a 4. Can you point out some vocab that you’re talking about? Do I do a good job of tying my examples to the prompt?</p>

<p>Yes, but try to delve into more detail when elaborating on your examples, if space and time allow it. Furthermore, try to use less conventional examples, and more original things other than Ghandi. If you can’t come up with original examples, make something up. It’s what I did, and I got an 11.</p>

<p>Maybe should I use 2 examples and go into more detail?</p>