Can you grade my ACT essay?

<p>Prompt: In your opinion, should high schools encourage a competitive academic atmosphere?</p>

<p>There has been a debate whether competition in schools leads to higher academic achievement or failure and stress. I believe competition is a significant part for high academic achievement and building strengths and weaknesses. Schools with a lot of competition can help students strive for challenging courses, help them do well on standardized tests, and help them get into top colleges.</p>

<p>Even though being competitive in school leads to stress and lack of confidence, competition helps us stay focused and stay on top of our priorities. We tend to build confidence, determination, and an interest to learn more as time progresses in your high school career. </p>

<p>To begin, students in competitive schools encourage themselves to take tough, rigorous courses. Students want to learn more by taking challenging courses, and they want to impress themselves, their parents, their teachers, and especially their transcript. In my school, many students take as many AP and IB classes as they possibly can because they gain more knowledge and it looks better on their transcript. Also, a study shows that taking tough courses prepares students for college courses. </p>

<p>Subsequently, students in competitive schools tend to do well on standardized tests. Students who compete in school always try to prepare themselves to do well on any standardized test such as ACT, PSAT, SAT, etc. Students want to get good scores to qualify for scholarships and recognition. Lately, kids taking their academics seriously tend to get 33-36 on the ACT or 2100-2400 on the SAT. Many students are taking prep classes, getting prep books from the library, and get started as soon as freshman year of high school.</p>

<p>Furthermore, being competitive helps students get to top-notch schools. Students are trying to get high G.P.A.’s, high-standardized test scores, and get recommendation letters from teachers. For example, many students in my school are preparing to go to IVY league universities that require a well-rounded student and have very low acceptance rates. These low acceptance rates encourage students to work harder in order to go to heir dream school.</p>

<p>Overall, students in a competitive environment help them strive for success and achievement. Many students take rigorous courses and do well on standardized tests to attain success and to go to very good universities. I believe every school should be very competitive to help students achieve and to be good at life.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone for reading and can you me suggestions on this essay such as grammar and punctuation, structure, transition, organization, vocab, etc.</p>

<p>Great essay Hydrolysis.
The organization and structure is great.
I would say work on transitional sentences for the end and beginning of each paragraph. Also variation in examples would not hurt. Your essay was focus only on academic competition - other examples such as sports, extracurriculars will add variety and color to your essay. In addition, it would be nice to show a paragraph for why the opposing side makes sense, but re-bottle it with a stronger opinion.
In general great essay and I would give a (9.5/12 or 10/12), with all things and conditions being equal.
Good Job.</p>

<p>Thanks so much for your feedback ccco2018</p>

<p>I don’t think I’m in a position to give you a score, but I think I might have a tip that could help you. You focused a lot on the actions that students take as a result of being competitive, but you didn’t really talk about the residual benefits of being competitive. For example, students who take a lot of AP/IB courses gain more knowledge and are more scholastic people/will grow up to become more accepting/cultured/etc. I think that all of your body paragraphs were missing this type of detail that could easily be added. If you need clarification, let me know. Just try to take your argument one step further.</p>

<p>Just thought of this. Instead of saying “Students want to get good scores to qualify for scholarships and recognition.”</p>

<p>you could have said “Students who are motivated to do well on these standardized tests often do better, and therefore earn the scholarships and college acceptances that are sought after by students all around the world.”</p>

<p>Something along that nature might have better conveyed why competition is a good thing.</p>