Can you grade my essay?

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Knowledge is one of the most distinguishable traits between humans and animals. It gives mankind the ability to know and develop. Yet knowledge used without wisdom can be a burden and even fatal. </p>

<p>In A Separate Peace set during the second World War, has young, immature boys who only know about war from propaganda. These boys fantasize over being patriots serving the country in war. One of the boys named Leper actually enlists captivated by the ski soldier propaganda. When he comes back, he is not the same young boy. He now knew what war was really about. The boys thought they knew everything about this great war, but realized more thoughtout decision must be made before they enlist. Leper's unwise decision changed his life in an awful way. </p>

<p>On the contrary, there is a man who used his wisdom to rule - Solomon. One day two women came with a baby both claiming that the baby is theirs. So, Solomon said to cut the baby in half to share. One woman agreed, but the other told him to just give the baby to the other woman. Though Solomon did not know who was telling the truth, he was able to figure it out. He used his wisdom rather than knowledge to solve problems and rule his kingdom. His wisdom brought much prosperity during his reign. </p>

<p>Leper's poor decision based on false knowledge let to insanity. On the other hand, Solomon's wisdom saved a child's life, and resolved a dispute. Wisdom, indeed, is more important than knowledge. If knowledge isn't used with wisdom, it could lead to even more destructive outcomes than Leper's insanity. One must learn to act and decide based on knowledge with prudence.</p>

<p>Your examples are decent but your analysis is anecdotal at best. Also try to lengthen your introduction by using some developing sentences and introducing your examples, it would give a better holistic impression.</p>

<p>Length is decent enough to score a 4+ but is undermined by grammatical errors.</p>

<p>You'd most likely be scoring an 7-8/12 for this.</p>

<p>I'm not good in ESSAY, but this is about 5/12</p>

<p>^ More like a 7. DEFINITELY NOT A 5/12.</p>

<p>i would suggest you clearly mention your thesis and support with examples
you gave one example to support the claim and other to refute it
i dont think it is a wise thing to do on SAT
i would also give a 7</p>

<p>7....
first two sentences should go at the end of each body paragraph where they belong.</p>

<p>around 6-7</p>

<p>7 </p>

<p>10char.</p>

<p>And I hope you're hand writing these essays, btw lol. Because most teenagers type faster than they write and you don't want to become conditioned to the luxury of a keyboard or spellcheck which won't be available on the SAT.</p>

<p>Most people recommend to choose a side not take the middle-ground.</p>

<p>Here is some more information:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.sparknotes.com/testprep/2009/10/21/sat-essay-can-i-argue-both-sides-of-the-prompt%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.sparknotes.com/testprep/2009/10/21/sat-essay-can-i-argue-both-sides-of-the-prompt&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I did pick a side. And the second supporting evidence I thought was a look from another not a refute of my thesis. but thanks everyone</p>