Can you help me choose the better written (very short) paragraph"

College Essays
1

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>On my supplement essay, I wrote two version of the same short paragraph, and would really appreciate an experienced opinion on which is better!</p>

<p>Please feel free to reply or PM me.</p>

<p>Thank you! :)</p>

2

<p>bump 10char</p>

3

<p>I will read them John. I will PM you.</p>

4

<p>I’ll give you feedback. Email me (click on my name for email), including the prompt.</p>