Can you please grade my first essay?

<p>Are people more likely to be productive and successful when they ignore the opinions of others?</p>

<p>Society’s opinions can be detrimental to one’s success if the person is bother by them. Literature and technological advancements provide glaring examples of the same.</p>

<p>The benefits of ignorance are evident in the novel Scarlet letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. When Hester Prynne was blamed for eloping with another man whilst she was married, the harsh puritan society continuously criticized her and spoke ill of her. However she ignored what the townspeople said and held her head up high. In the end she was able to earn back her dignity and also be happy with her paramour. In the same novel, Arthur Dimmesdale didn’t disclose his sin of eloping with a married woman, as he was scared of society and society’s opinions about him. He kept it to himself and finally died due to grief and self penance. </p>

<p>When the wright brothers first proposed the idea of a plane, the society disregarded the concept as a fantasy and criticized them for day dreaming. However the wright brothers ignored what the people said and worked towards their goal. A few years later, the first plane took of on a journey which lasted for 12 seconds. Had they listened to society they would have never achieved their dream.</p>

<p>In Fahrenheit 451, Guy Montag was criticized severely by the society for loving books and enjoying reading. However he decided to ignore what the society thinks of him and found other people who shared his passion for reading. He finally found happiness and success with them. </p>

<p>Hester Prynne, Guy Montag, Arthur Dimmesdale and the Wright brothers, all ignored society’s views and worked hard to achieve what they wanted thereby proving society’s diatribe can be harmful if taken into consideration.</p>

<p>I know the essay is short, i'm working towards adding more volume. Also please comment on the relevance of examples.
:)</p>

<p>the following essay can recevic from 6 to 7 out of 12. you uses effective examples and reasons & other evidence to support its thesis but your essay is poorly focused and organized . Try to add more to it bec. It's really short & make it more organizsed . But it's good because it 's largely ( but no necessarily completely free of grammatical & usage errors . Keep on & good luck :)</p>