I’m with @fullmom on this one. I joined CC several years ago as my D and I were starting to navigate college applications. She has several learning disabilities and had very low test scores. While I did find a lot of information on here, it was a bit intimidating to see so many accomplished kids at top schools while I was only trying to find middling-tier schools that might be a good fit.
At the same time, I found a lot of good information, if not from the academic side of things, at least on dealing with the transition to college, financial aid, what to pack, the empty nest, etc. Now I mainly go to the Parent Cafe sincemany of the parents are in the same middle-age demographic as as I am and have some commonalities in that way, if not necessarily with our kids.
I think most kids in the second or third tier tend to navigate to in-state schools and thus have less use (in their minds) for this board. They already where they will go (most likely an in-state school). Why pay OOS when your state flagship will meet your needs? Why go to the LAC three states over when the one an hour away will meet your needs? That may be why you don’t see as many posts in those areas.
I’d like to flip the script and say the exact opposite just because you are bright doesn’t mean its college. The cost of college is becoming a tipping point and going for the wrong major is financial suicide if paid for with loans. Just because you went if (your field isn’t the right one) you will not make diddly squat in the real world. Horror stories are just a google search away!
Electricians, PLC technicians, Plumbers, A/C techs, Welders, all can easily make 70-100k+ with 1-2 years at tech school or with solely OJT at the right company.
I just did a programming job for Nestle’ the PLC and Utility techs at that site make over $36/hr, 45-50hrs week these guys are pulling in 90-100k with full benefits etc. (in the south).
When many grads are making 45-50 or 60k with debt, loans, but “I went to fancy LAC or etc” these uncool blue collar jobs are doing very well by most people’s standards. They just don’t sound fancy!
My girls will definitely be college bound, but my son if he doesn’t have a decent idea by senior year more than likely I will encourage him to go towards a trade.
I have to wonder if some of the parental “bragging” here on CC is done because people have no other place to do it. I most certainly don’t list out all my D’s accomplishments while chatting with the neighbors. I put her two most prestigous acceptances on Facebook, but not the nice outside scholarship she found out she won shortly before graduation because I thought people were sick of hearing about her accomplishments. (And seeing all the achievements of everyone else’s perfect SAT scoring kids does help provide some perspective of just how many great kids are out there that deserve to get into the top schools.)
If this was said to many classmates at my public magnet HS…especially those who were admitted to at least one elite U(top 25-33%), they’d actually take that as an insult by implying they’re better at being popular/using social skills to get ahead because they’re lacking in the intellect department.
My kids span the range, and one of my kids has friends whose parents say, when they turn 18, “You can leave now, you are not my responsibility.” They work for 6 years until 24, at which point financial aid is based on their own income. So Yeah, I get your point.
Anyway, I think College Confidential is unfairly maligned in general. Not saying your post did that, but it really does depend on what forums you frequent. I see more posts about kids having problems than posts about HYPS.
Finally, the comment about kids with disabilities who might learn a trade was cited on behalf of those who are not disabled and are seeking a trade. But I would add that many kids with learning disabilities go to great schools, including the much vaunted Ivies, and do just fine, sometime with accommodations and sometimes not. So I found that a little offensive in a different way- no worries, just pointing it out. Please don’t imply that a kid with any kind of disability cannot go to college, including a top one.
Just agreeing with the vent about the “in real life” parents who gloat about their kids and are insensitive to the reality of other people’s situations. There is a small cadre of parents in our school who are they type to ask you about your kid, listen politely for 5 seconds, and then launch into praise for their offspring’s accomplishments, whether it is the college acceptance, the internship, the job. It is obvious they opened the conversation in order to share their precious one’s accomplishments, not for a mutual conversation. Fortunately, I don’t see many of those parents much anymore, but when I do see them, it is draining.
Despite the competitiveness of the admission exam to my public magnet and the high rigor/competitiveness which can be cutthroat at times, several HS classmates with disabilities not only attended, but excelled.
Some no thanks to a jerky teacher who tried to screw one older classmate out of his legally entitled accommodations until the Board of Ed and the courts ORDERED that teacher to comply with giving him those accommodations.
All of the ones I knew excelled and did even better in undergrad at various elite/respectable colleges. They certainly are one group of classmates I tip my proverbial hat to…
From what I see, most parents seem obsessed with their own kids and what they’re going to do. I don’t think people care what other kids are doing that much. However, I think people sometimes envy the kids who get into the best schools or have the means to be full pay. My honest opinion is that if some kids don’t want to go to college, that’s fine with me. Less competition for my kid:))
So again, my comment about the disability was not in the vein you describe here. It struck a nerve, I get that, but it was not intended to wrap every single person who’s learned a trade - more I was thinking about my good friends who have kids that have had extreme difficulty learning, most their school life. The families have had to work very hard to find something they can go do after they age out of high school. That’s the problem with any rant to begin with, you don’t think things out, you just shoot from the hip! so please just disregard. OMG, never ever again.
