Can you proofread my common app short answer please?

<p>The prompt is Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). I talked about the job I had over the summer. Please make suggestions and tips please. And I don't want to hear stuff like "I could write your essay much better" or that type of bs. Thank you!</p>

<p>Grueling work in the scorching summer heat on a two-acre farm for minimum wage does not sound like an enjoyable summer job, but the benefits and intangibles are priceless. Throughout the course of working at Petaluma People Services Center, I learned how to harvest and plant vegetables and fruits, fertilize crops, and work with a variety of power tools. Most importantly, I developed social and personal values such as leadership, teamwork, perseverance, and a sense of pride while serving the community. I worked with a unique group of teenagers all around my age, each one coming from a different, diverse background. Despite our differences, we worked toward a common goal of working together on the farm and making a positive impact in the community. Having a positive attitude in the hot summer heat, especially among fellow workers whom I did not always agree with, is not the easiest thing to do, but it taught me that sometimes fun can be found in the strangest of circumstances.</p>

<p>The grammar and all seems great to me, the only thing is that the sentence starting with "I worked with a unique..." gets pretty repetitive talking about how all were unique, different, diverse, etc. Just make it less repetitive and the rest seems really good! Nice job.</p>

<p>If you could look over mine to that would be great!</p>

<p>good job and good luck</p>

<p>"especially among fellow workers whom I did not always agree with," - leave out the negativity.</p>

<p>Nice essay. Simple and to the point. Tied up nicely in the end.</p>

<p>A few minor comments:</p>

<p>"all around my age" - take out</p>

<p>"each one coming" - take out and pluralize "background"</p>

<p>should be "with whom I did not always agree"</p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

<p>whoa, you work at PPSC?! I volunteered there for a little while. do you live in Petaluma? :)</p>