<p>Topic: Are people best defined by what they look like?</p>
<p>Men’s golf is a gentleman’s game. The players are expected to dress in nice polos, wear slacks, and be well-mannered. At least, that is what I adhered to until the day I met Joseph.</p>
<p>Joseph was what you could call a “hoodlum”. He had jet-black hair spiked up way high like pine needles. He always wore dirty-collared shirts that were roughed or ripped and he never tucked them in, which made him look like an unkempt mechanic. He wore brown shorts whose color faded away and contrasted against the bright lightning gold and metallic silver wallet chains hanging freely from his pockets. The “golf” shoes he wore were actually for soccer, which had metal spikes on the bottom and was inappropriate in most golf courses On his left ear were two diamond earrings and he always wore his hat sideways. Also, he had an awkward gait for a person playing golf. I had never seen anyone dress so badly and so suspiciously. In fact, his image was a “juvenile delinquent” on a golf course. In my mind, I always thought that a good student or a golfer was someone who was well-dressed, followed proper etiquette, and was friendly.</p>
<p>Although we are both Koreans and are of the same age, I thought Joseph and I were fundamentally different, like apples and watermelons. However, my impression engraved from Joseph’s actions was found to be completely inaccurate.</p>
<p>One day, I signed up for a prestigious two-day event with a cut at the beautiful Zilker Park Country Club. (A cut is the selection of golf players with qualified scores.) I checked in and found out that I was doomed when I found that I was paired with Joseph, because I would be distracted by his looks and actions. As I teed off and dreaded my round with him, it turned out way better than the grotesque pictures that I had imagined.</p>
<p>Joseph was, despite his attires, an amazing golfer. The second he stepped on the tee and swung, I was awestruck by the rhythmic tempo and the power of his swing. When he blasted his “master” ball with his titanium driver, all we heard was not a golf ball soaring; it was a piercing bullet from a shotgun that dove towards the grass 300 yards away. Then I quickly learned that he was one of the top golfers in Texas. He had straight A’s in all honors and Advanced Placement college-equivalent courses. I also learned that he worked hard on both golf and academic to win his scholarship. With his diligence and tenacity, he is already sponsored by “Titleist,” the biggest name in golf. The most renowned company is sponsoring him with the clubs. I also learned that Joseph wore inappropriate clothes because his family was not well off financially, so he couldn’t afford new ones. By the end of the day, Joseph had not only shot the lowest in his age group, but also shot the lowest of all participants.</p>
<p>He went on to win the tournament by ten shots over me. After the round, I felt guilty and ashamed for basing a person’s skill and future just on his actions and first impressions. I’ve been reminded so many times in many books and TV, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and “appearances can be deceiving.” My experience shows me that I never heeded at them, but was obsessed with first looks and actions. I was too occupied, worrying about his appearance and skills, but Joseph turned out to be strong in both golf and academics. The pairing of Joseph and me showed me that the essence of people is not like what they dress or look like. My preconception was largely inaccurate.</p>
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<p>MAJOR BSing of fictitious personal experience!
- Is the essay real/credulous enough?
- Please give me a grade out of 12, with your rationale of giving me that score. Feedback + critique will be very much appreciated!</p>
