And the details matter.
Asking a school which offers merit to match a 5K offer from a peer school is a VERY different ask then “can you match the free ride my kid got after an interview weekend, multiple extra essays, and an audition tape”?
5 Likes
Yeah, I don’t want to speak for these schools, but if it were me I would be more thinking in terms of what the merit program in question says than the college admission. Like, some of the “name” merit programs are extremely competitive, the kids who get offered them have absolute tippy-top profiles, and I don’t see why I would not want to compete for such kids if possible.
In general, though, I think a big part of effective self-advocacy is not being afraid of hearing “no”. Like, if this is something that would be meaningful to you, even if you are 90% certain they will say “no,” let them say it! Because if they surprised you with a “yes” instead, that would sure be cool.
5 Likes
I would wait until regular admission results come in before asking for money at the EA school. As others have mentioned, if the EA school only offers need based aid then there is no point, but if they do offer merit then you could negotiate better when you have other offers.
Just going to say this. You have to wait a few weeks before acceptance. This puts pressure on them not you. But it depends which college this is. If it’s a name brand forget it but always ask. We asked for more money after getting merit after they actually gave more. They said they can’t give anymore merit. They drew the line. So, I asked for a discount on housing. They said they weren’t sure what that was. They came back with another $3,000/year for dorm rebate. Worked for us. Lol. 
4 Likes
It is OK to ask. However, many of the top colleges don’t offer merit money. If they did, everyone would qualify to a great extent, so it doesn’t make sense. They offer need-based money only.
Pushing them saying that you will go somewhere else if they won’t give money probably won’t work. They will just take someone off the waiting list if they have to and you lose out. A low admit rate has its implications.
1 Like
I think more critical in your situation to learn will they reconsider FA when 2 or 3 kids will be simultaneously in college or not.
If you can get something in writing, ask for it.
In our case it was not top school. But private will look at comparable colleges and offers from them. Our did and came up with more money.
In our case we had 3 kids in college and asked for guarantee of FA grant for following years due to changing FAFSA. We were able to get that guarantee for all 4 years and extra couple thousands for room and board (that was a pleasant surprise. )
4 Likes
Make sure your child is responding to emails for department or special program scholarships or grants. They may easily overlook something from this top 30 school that may be helpful financially. This is not as common at top 30 colleges, but could be possible. And if you ask for money and they did not apply last week to something offering money that will not help you.
Most merit is offered at admission with the handful of colleges in the top 30 that offer it. Have your child ask, not you. What is the gap you are trying to fill? If they meet half of that do you choose to go somewhere else? Have that conversation with your child.
1 Like
We asked the CC at DS’ school (private BS) and were told no, don’t do it. I think she meant that the awards are part of the acceptance and don’t change, so we didn’t go back. It was not a top choice either.
You may want to run this by the CC at your school. My own feeling is all they can do is say no.
And clarifying, this is merit, not FA.
You may also want to see if you are eligible for FA at your private school now. Most are more generous than colleges and understand the strain having a college student places on a family’s finances.
We did this for my son and it was successful. We had him email his adcom with the offer he received from a peer institution. He had to jump through a few hoops (fill out FAFSA, answer a few questions) but he did get a decent bump in merit aid. He did get a fair amount in the original offer, but the extra he negotiated was enough to get him to enroll at this school and he said he would do just that if they could meet the peer institution’s offer. That said, this was not a top 50 and he is a musician (school is well-known for music). And I will say, they gambled on him for sure — and got one amazing kid. So I think it worked out for all of us. Edited to include we do not qualify for federal aid in any shape or form, that was why we initially didn’t fill out FAFSA.
How much additional aid are you hoping to get?
I do not agree on concept child ask, not you about money.
It is you paying, and your word is last where child will enroll. Colleges understand that.
I did all money negotiations with all colleges from my name. I do not feel guilty about it…
How many schools did you communicate with?
More than a few colleges will not communicate with parents. My 14 year old is doing DE and the CC made it clear any communication will strictly be between her and the school.
But you are right, kids as still kids and do need a little “support.”
1 Like
At least 4.
They will communicate about FA and payments to parents.
Parents get password for paying too…
We are not talking about anything else.
2 Likes
I’m tagging @sybbie719 who might be able to contribute something WRT need based aid and reconsideration when offers are received from peer schools.
It is you, not child can explain financial details or health issue, or money issues in family. Otherwise your child becomes brainless parrot who has no clue what he/she is talking about…
In some cases phone call is necessary too.
I also called 15+ schools when one of them messed up our FAFSA. (That was not fun…) One smart… decided that she knows better and incorrectly reduced number of kids in college! (Yes, they can correct your FAFSA without your permission if they believe there is a mistake).
1 Like
Congratulations to your student! Since the kid is in, go ahead and ask–it won’t hurt, but it is highly unlikely to yield results. Can you say what school it is? I am not aware of any T20-25(allowing for different rankings) that has EA and offers merit outside of rare awards for truly outstanding applicants (ie 3% of the incoming class at Notre Dame). At the T20-25 schools that do not have EA but do offer true (ie non-need based) merit, the merit is still limited to an extremely select group at the very top of the applicant pool (ie Duke, WashU , Wake, Vanderbilt using the 2022 rankings which are “better” imo than the 2023 ones!); one cannot get merit at these top schools by asking.
I have definitely heard of NEED based aid awards being modified slightly when an accepted student presents a NEED based offer from a peer school that is higher. I have never heard of true merit aid at this level of school working that way.
I agree with the poster who suggested to ask the k-12 private school to consider aid since you will have one in college. And I agree that if you did not do FAFSA (thinking you did not qualify), then do it and ask the school to consider you for Need-based aid.
3 Likes
My DS received a merit award from a T10. It was a little confusing if he was also going to get a NMF award from the school. He reached out to inquire and their response was to increase the merit award for the 4 years. The increase was more than we would have expected from a NMF award. The total merit was also higher than the highest award published on their website. For greater transparency, he received a non athletic likely letter from this school about two weeks after submitting the application.
1 Like
I always describe conversations like these as “thousand dollar minutes.” It’s like negotiating for a new salary - the ROI for the few minutes spent making the request can be off the charts. Even if it doesn’t pay off, the cost of asking approaches zero.
(I know @gardenstategal mentioned that their private school’s counselor said not to ask - I’d argue that’s the school looking out for its interests, not your interests. As long as you’re respectful about it, this is just business-as-usual for the FA office.)
1 Like
I’d say in this case (knowing both the CC and the school), unlikely, but the CC may have had info about the college, or even DS’ level of interest, that we did not.
But yes, I can see how it could look like that!
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed after 11 hours. If you’d like to reply, please flag the thread for moderator attention.