To explain my situation, I graduated from high school in June of this year(2015), I was going to attend SCAD, I had scholarships to go there, but couldn’t meet the expensive cost. When I graduated high school, I really didn’t know anyhting about the college process, fasfa, and private loans, I was very uneducated about it with really no one to walk me through it or tell me what I need to know to do everything myself. So I graduated high school with my only acceptance for a school I couldn’t afford and a major I didn’t actually want. I put in last minute applications for a couple of in state universities for the fall semester, and got into both of them, UWF and USF, the problem was USF, my first choice between the two, accepted me into their Sarasota Campus, which didn’t offer me a major I wanted or dorms, which I thought I needed because I live in Jacksonville, and not Tampa or Sarasota(which I didn’t know was a city until after I got accepted), and they wouldn’t change it to their main campus in Tampa because it was past application changes deadline so they switched my term to spring, which I’ll bring up later, but at that moment in time, I was convinced that my only choice was UWF because I wanted to get away from my home life which consisted of only my mother, who is a very condescending and emotionally unstable person, and get out of Jacksonville, which is a city I don’t want to spend my life in, I know these two things and my heart is set on these goals, but I didn’t go to UWF because the first day of July I found out I couldn’t afford it because I never had Bright Futures(Florida’s financial aid for students with >3.5gpa, 100 community service hours, and a minimum SAT score), I thought I met all the requirements, but my substandard SAT scores were 10 points to low in one section. I guess I’m an impetuous and emotional person because after trying to figure out how I could afford the cost of UWF for fall semester(which I wasn’t excited about going to), I realized I couldn’t at that moment and began constructing my next move if college wasn’t an option for the time being,I ended up choosing moving to get out of Florida and away from my homelife. I ended up moving to Westminster, California for a month, where an old friend’s family rented out a room to me, which was already being rented out, and I stayed there for a month and head home to Jacksonville. The problems with not staying was that I was kinda misinformed about the living situation, I wasn’t really enjoying my stay in SoCal, I was unsure what I wanted to be out there, I was upset that my classmates from highschool where in college and I wasn’t, and I thought it would be pragmatic coming back home and starting school in the spring time, I could make it work this time, it would only be 5 months before school started. That’ leads where I’m currently at. So, it would only be five months til I could start college, I miraculously found out my acceptance to USF was still valid and it was for their main campus in Tampa, SCORE, I have a college to attend this spring time, problem was I came back home to a nightmare. I didn’t get into what the problem s with my mother earlier in this post were, but to explain a little, my mom is an alcoholic, how does that affect me, it doesn’t, except for her crazy drunken mood swings where she becomes bashful and berates me sporadically on a daily basis. The problem with the alcohol was her then current boyfriend who’s son died from a drunk driver eight years ago and it hurt him when my mom drank, because she would sip down a bottle a night and was a nasty drunk. I came back home to these two in a hostile environment, they were fighting everyday, and within the first month back my mom was leaving and I had to make the choice of staying with him or going with her. He wasn’t a bad person, but he’s not my family, my family is my mom, and I want nothing to do with her, the problems I have with here including the mistreatment is she’s extremely discouraging, how? When I told her I got accepted into my first college, she said I’ll fall flat on my face, then told me to join the air force, when I was starting my senior year, she asked me if I was dropping out and then recommended I take online classes instead of going to school, which she threatened to pull me out of throughout my entire highschool career, when I was accepted into National Honors Society, she said so what, it won’t get me a job, when I had my SATs, she didn’t want to drive me to them, and one of the nights in the first month I came back, she called me a fucking loser. To paint a picture of myself, and this is completely honest, I turned 19 in July, I’ve never drank alcohol, I don’t smoke cigarettes or pot, I don’t get in trouble with the police or at school, I graduated highschool with 4.0gpa in the top 10% of my class, I had my first kiss at 18, and I’m a virgin. This is what I thought of myself when asking me if I was a bad kid and deserved to be treated the way my mom treated me, who in her mind, and would openly tell me every so often " I’ve never done anything to you; you treat me like shit". And to top all that off, I have a broken lease in my name for an apartment I signed for the two of us the week before I started my senior year(her credit wasn’t good enough for a former section 8 apt complex), which we lived in for two months before she made us bail because she got into a relationship with the boyfriend I mentioned before, and my mom used my social to apply for a credit card in my name, without my knowledge and consent, so I owe nearly $700 on that even though I’ve never used it myself, and have a credit score that just went up to being in the 500s. So this is where I’m currently at. It’s mid November, I’ve been living with my mom in a one bedroom apt for the past two weeks on a apartment complex that she work’s at as a leasing agent(my grandfather is the only name on the lease because of her credit), I just started a seasonal postition at Old Navy that pays $8 an hour, which I can be terminated at any moment because I’m under contract as a seasonal employee, and I still have my acceptance to USF, but I got my award letter and even though I have the full pell grant($5775) and stafford loans that equal $5000 total, I’m $8000 short, and I don’t think I can get a private student loan because my only possible cosigner is my mom, she has terrible credit, she won’t take on any of cost,(sidenote, she asked me two weeks ago for some of my financial award money) and my credit will most likely make it impossible for me to get a student loan in just my name. So this is my situation. I don’t know what to do. I’m 19, in debt, I don’t have any other family members to go to, and I don’t have friends. I don’t want to live here in Jacksonville, I don’t want to live wit my mother anymore, especially not when I’m older, I don’t want to end up a loser and stuck in retail. I know someones proabably thinking community college? Which is why I made this post. There’s one community college here, and to describe it, we have two 4 year universities, and people who graduate them stay here in Jax, and people who graduate our community college go to those universities. So you can see, I don’t want to be attend there if it keeps me in a loop. I just want to be able to get out, and I want someone to talk to about this. I want to know people’s thoughts on what I’ve been going through, and peoples thoughts and advice on community college out of state. Before I came back to Jax, I was actually going to head off to Portland, I had a job at Target set up there, and even though I wasn’t happy with SoCal, I was happy being on my own, and I wasn’t afraid of things like falling on my face, but her in Jax, falling and picking myself up doesn’t feel like getting anywhere. What are people’s thoughts? How can i make USF work? Should I got to a community college out of state?
If you go to a CC out of state, you will pay out of state tuition, which sounds like a problematic situation. So, you should either suck it up and to to a CC in FL, or move to CA and work for a year. You will then have established residency and be eligible for in state tuition, and you will have earned some money as well. Either way, after you earn an Associate’s degree, you can transfer to a public university in the state where you earned that degree. If you did well, you should be eligible for scholarships.
Holy wall of text. Your post is difficult to read. If you do attend college learn to use paragraph breaks.
From what I read you live in a different state than where you want to go to school.
Move to the state/area where you hope to attend school and work for a year. Look at Craigslist and find some room shares with other students. You can usually split and apartment for $300 to $500 a month. If that’s too much you need a better paying job. Retail does not pay. Construction or painting pay well.
I would go to Santa Barbara City College and work out there! Great school and beautiful weather.
Save as much money as possible in your current job, and start looking for the next one. Most people in your situation go to a community college at first. There are kids graduating from Miami Dade Community College Honors Programs and going to FSU, UF, NYU etc.with scholarships. After 2 years you could end up getting accepted to an ever better grad school, with better scholarships, if you keep your grades up.
Obviously your mother is toxic and you also need a stragedy for living arrangements. Community colleges have students looking for roomates.
The good news is you are an adult now and you obviously realize the correllation between hard work, sacrifice, discipline, and success. Your future is in your hands, and there is no perfect, cookie cutter way of how things get done. Just keep you eye on your target.
$700 is not a major debt, get your credit fixed as soon as possible, but don’t worry about it. In a community college it is feasible to work full time and go to schook full time. Eventually you need to get a better job and move out.
The hard part is getting rid of the demons in your head that will only confuse you and bring you down. Make sure make a conscience effort to stay focused on your goals, and keep ugly thoughts out. Some people are in our lives as an example of what not to do. My bad experiences imposed on me by others, insured I didn’t repeat them myself. Set backs are a part of everybody’s life and will only really effect you if you let them.
Faith is very important for people in my opinion. Our parents are all very imperfect and knowing that we have a perfect Heavenly Father that adores us, and will provide everything we need, can move mountains. Pray and look a for a church that will nourish your spiritual health. God always responds to a humble heart. Ask Him for the ability to forgive, and be forgiven. You’ll feel a ton of bricks lifted from your shoulders.
I am catholic and for me spending time in Perpetual Adoration has gotten me through my hardest times. Just sitting there reading random chapters of the bible gave me direction. Once you realize you aren’t in this alone, you will feel the wind at your back. Visualize and expect a better future.
Good luck and God bless
Honestly, even though your Mom has issues, I like her Air Force idea. The Air Force is the only branch with its own community college - Community College of the Air Force and I hear they have the best standard of living of all the branches. There is also the reserves or a college ROTC program.