I just recently got my license 6 or 7 months ago and was just in my first car accident. it really wasn’t much of an accident, more of a fender bender. I rear ended someone, but there was not even a scratch on either car, no one was immendiately hurt, and my parents were awesome and really wanted me to use it as a learning experience. Despite all of that, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am disappointed in myself, still a bit shaken from it, and wish it didn’t happen because I cant stop getting anxious over it. I know car accidents are serious, but people keep telling me this really isn’t a big deal, and since no one was hurt, that I should be thankful and use it as a learning experience. Can anyone share any teenage accident stories/is it normal to get in accidents as a teenager? Will I ever not feel crappy about this?? Someone please make me feel better…for whatever reason this is completely dominating my thoughts and making me feel constantly sad.
Thank goodness no one got hurt. That’s all that matters. Cars can be fixed usually.
As a point of reference… oth of my kids have been in accidents where their cars were totaled. Neither kid was hurt…and that was all that mattered.
Just be careful in the future to not follow too closely or be traveling so quickly that you can’t stop in time.
Glad you are okay and that it was very minor!
It is normal to get into more accidents as a teen. That’s why insurance companies charge more for them and most car rental places won’t rent to them.
Cut yourself some slack. I can’t think of any driver who has been driving for awhile who hasn’t had at least one little knock like that. Yours didn’t even leave any damage to either car so I wouldn’t even call it a fender bender as no fenders were bent. 
Just a fender bump.
I think it’s normal to feel that way a bit. Best to “get back on the horse” as soon as possible. You might be nervous at first but the best way to have that subside is just to do it. Try to relax because being too tense and overly cautious can be just as dangerous as driving carelessly.
Yes, give yourself space between the car in front of you. And don’t use technology while driving!
No, It’s not normal to get in car accidents as a teenager. Be thankful no one got hurt.
FWIW: injuries from being rear ended take a few days to appear. Don’t be surprised if your parents hear from the driver’s insurance company sometime in the next few weeks, letting them know she/he needs medical care. Insurance covers this sort of thing, so as long as your insurance policy is up to date, things should be fine.
I slid off the road in Austin when I was 16. The roads were slick and I wasn’t speeding, but obviously I should have been going slower. I was driving right next to Town Lake. I was lucky I didn’t hit a light pole or drive into the lake! I still remember how shaky I felt afterwards. My parents were great, too, but it did bother me for quite awhile.
My teenage daughter got rear-ended a week before she left for college. She was alone, on her way home from our beach house 2 hours away. She was pretty shaken up, but no one was hurt and neither car was damaged. She was still an hour from home so I offered to go get her so she didn’t have to drive home but she said she would be okay. I think it is completely normal to feel upset about it and be a little nervous about driving.
I agree with doschicos - it is completely normal for teenagers to get in car accidents as they are new drivers with less experience. If you google it, you will find plenty of sources that say that teen drivers have the highest risk of accidents. Be thankful that no one was hurt and use this as a learning lesson about driving too closely.
You’ll get over it and will be more careful in the future. I’ve rear-ended another car a couple times without damage. One of them, the woman who drove the other car got out of her car and a small dog jumped out after her and started running around on the street median while she was trying to catch him. Although it was my fault, this was too hilarious for me to feel bad. Eventually the dog was caught and the woman was very nice and forgiving.
I was in an accident 2 years to the day after I got my license. I wasn’t hurt, but the guy who hit me was going 15 over before he hit my driver’s side front wheel. It totaled my car, and that was absolutely devastating. That car was just about my favorite thing in the world. You’re very lucky there was no damage. I couldn’t being myself to drive for about two weeks, and I suffered from flashbacks and anxiety attacks when other people drove. It gets better. I don’t have either of those any more, but I still desperately miss my dear car. It was irreplaceable (literally), and sometimes I still cry. With time, I know that you will learn from this and grow. You’ve lost nothing, yet gained important life experience. I believe in you. This does not define you.
Here are some statistics from my family that may make you feel better. Believe it or not, I have a very clean-cut and “normal” extended family.
Of 13 kids/grandkids in my childrens’ generation in our family, 12 have been in accidents as teens and the remaining 1 dented a fender in a parking lot encounter with a pole. We are so thankful that no one was seriously hurt, though some potentially could have been very serious. One completely took out a concrete brick wall after blowing through a stop sign. Another spun out on the freeway and wound up facing the wrong way. Seven (!) of them totaled the cars they were driving.
I myself had a couple of parking lot fender benders as a teen and young adult.
Yes, accidents are normal for teenagers. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I’m glad you are safe. Go easy on yourself. You will get past this.
Give yourself a month. If you aren’t feeling better, a couple of therapy sessions might help.
I wouldn’t call it “normal”, but it’s common. There are millions of car accidents per year. While teens are more likely to be involved in accidents, it’s relatively common for other ages as well. Nearly every person I know well has been involved in some form of car accident at some point in their life. If there was not a scratch on either car, it sounds like your accident was quite minor. Even calling it a “fender bender” may be too much, since nothing was bent.
It’s good to use it as a learning experience and think about what you can do differently next time to prevent it, but there is always going to be a chance of an accident, even if you do everything perfectly. I’ve been in 3 insurance reported accidents. 2 occurred while my car was stationary in a parking lot (one while parked, with engine turned off), and the 3rd occurred while my car was moving at under 5mph in a parking lot. Now, I don’t get alarmed any more. Instead I look forward to the financial benefit. For example, in the last one the payout was ~$3k, even though after washing, the scratch was too small for anyone to notice who wasn’t looking for it.
I suppose you ask yourself why didn’t you stop in time? You hit the car vs being hit, so you can reflect on that. You should be shaken, that is a good thing. You can always learn. Getting in a car is the most dangerous activity you will ever participate in, It is a massive responsibility that you should try to consider every time you drive.
It’s a lesson to learn. Rear-ending could be a big deal. I think most accidents on the road now are caused by rear-ending. A lot of times rear-ending causes multiple car accidents. Rear-ending could easily damage people neck and spine. I bumped into another car when I just had the learning permit. Luckily the damage was very small. I have been a lot more careful since then. Keeping distance is the best practice. I drive fast but I always keep distance from the car in front of me. And I enjoy driving.
But about the worry: this is a common reaction. We don’t just scold ourselves, but replay it to learn what we did that we can avoid, in the future.
One day at a time. Try to be a cautious driver without being paranoid.
Thank goodness neither you nor the other driver were hurt. That’s the important part.
I don’t have statistics, but I am sure it is more common for new drivers to have these kinds of accidents than more experienced drivers. I imagine you have thought about what might have caused you to rear-end the other car and will correct it going forward.
I do think it’s normal to be shaken up after something like this for a little while. I’ve been in two accidents while driving and one while dog sledding (yes, you read that correctly!), and I was fortunate that I was not seriously hurt either time. But for some time afterwards, I kept having little flashbacks of the incident and feeling anxious at the idea that it could have been more serious. My daughter was hit pretty hard on the driver’s side of her vehicle by someone who was texting and driving, and also was thankfully unhurt. (Thank you, Subaru!) she also had similar emotions after her accident, nervousness about driving, some intrusive visual images of the accident, etc. If this is happening to you, just remind yourself that nothing terrible happened, that there are things you can do to reduce the likelihood of this happening again, and do some deep breathing exercises and then try to focus on something else. These feelings will pass with some time.
Had my first accident about 6 months after getting license. I backed into a car in a parking lot. Totally my fault. I was shaky for a week and didn’t want to drive. I couldn’t eat for a day or 2. I have and 2 or 3 more minor accidents since in the 40 years I have been driving. Every one has left me shaky. While driving after each accident I would get startled when I saw something in my peripheral vision that I thought was heading my way. Had to really be aware and control that.
DS recently had his first accident after about 7 years of driving. It was minor and he wasn’t at fault but was very upset by it. An hour after it happened he called to talk about it, as questions about insurance, etc. I could tell he was upset and said to him “it’s probably got you really shaky”. He said yes, he was physically shaking. All I could do was try to let him know that it would pass, but it might take a while.
You will get past this.
Most teens I know have had accidents, mostly fender benders but a few totals. One of my friends came out of an alley and t-boned a cop (probably want to avoid that scenario). It’s a good thing you’re a little shaken - that means you care and want to improve. Just don’t let it play mind games with you. No one was hurt in this instance. Live and learn.
I had my first accident at 18. I was fighting with my boyfriend and even though I slowed down for the light, I tapped the car in front of me. My bad luck, it was a VW with the engine in the rear and a really nasty old man that I swear was a Nazi war criminal in the driver’s seat. I paid him $400 (back in 1978) so he wouldn’t put in a claim against my boyfriend, who was an attorney for the insurance company that covered the car.
I learned from that experience and, if anything, I tend to drive too slowly, which is another problem.
Not that it directly relates to the OP, but my mother has a theory that these big, bright, athletic, hard-working, high achieving kids that have never had much difficulty or trouble in their lives make really bad drivers at first because they assume they have control in driving situations similar to what they exert in the rest of their lives. We’re in MN, where these awesome youngsters press on the brakes in their first snow and… nothing happens. For some of them it’s the first time there’s been no response when they assert themselves and they are surprised. It’s a good lesson that snow, like many other facets of life, does not always care who they are.
Good luck with driving. It’s one aspect of life where individual merit doesn’t matter and you have to keep your eyes open.
Use it as a good wake-up call and be thankful there were no injuries. Yes, it is very common for teens to have car accidents. DS1 totaled his “new” used truck when he was 17. The other driver was injured as she was in small sports car. DD1 (DS1’s twin) backed out of our driveway into DS1’s truck. We had to rent a car for my husband to use while our car (the one she was driving) was fixed. While my husband had the rental parked at work, someone ran into it and then left the scene. It was a bit embarassing calling our insurance agent to tell him about the 3rd damaged car in a few days, but he told me it wasn’t as unusual as you would think. DD2 rolled her car and totaled it on the freeway. Very scary but remarkably she walked away with just sore muscles. DS2 is the only one who has not had an accident. In our family at least, teen accidents seem to be very normal. I think at this point we have outgrown them.
Despite driving the safest cars ever built, national traffic fatalities suddenly jumped in 2015 and 2016 by the highest margin in decades. In my state, 2016 auto fatalities were double the national.
The issue seems to be a toxic convergence of texters, tailgaiters, speeders, and the high number of drivers on perscription medication–not to mention the usual drunks.
Tailgaiting was documented as the number one cause of car accidents, including fatalities–before texting was a thing. If you hit the car ahead of you it means you were tailgaiting: You were too close to stop without a collision: That is not acceptable.
Tailgaiting and texting (while speeding, 'cause why not?) should create the same outrage assault rifles do–It’s far more likely we’ll be killed by someone driving that way.
Our car-happy culture still assumes that teen accidents are normal: But that attitude should change in the new context of increased, unacceptable risk, more than a 15% increase nationally in fatal car crashes. That is despite the increasing safety of cars.
Every day now when I am out–every single day–I experience facing a car in my lane who is supposed to be in the opposite lane. That is because it is impossible, impossible to drive in your lane when you’re not looking at the road.
Almost invariably, those drivers are also speeding.
If you’re selfish and irresponsible enough to tailgait, you will hurt yourself eventually. Maybe you’ll have to live for the rest of your life with the burden of having killed someone.
The idea that it’s normal for teens to get into accidents is more permissively dangerous than ever, for teens and everyone else on the road.
The new message and mentality should be that the risks are worse than ever, and therefore driving must be more cautious than ever; Always maintain a distance from the car in front of you by the ratio of car lengths to speed you are driving. (Fifty MPH=5 car lengths.) Never text and drive, ever. If your prescription says operate no heavy equipment, don’t drive.
I asked all my kids at 16 years old not to drive, and they listened: A 16 year old driver has twice the likelihood of dying in an automobile accident as an 18 year old driver. My job number one is getting those kids to adulthood successfully.