After my sister had kids, she called my mom to ask what the “Monday Morning Talk” was. That was my mom’s “threat” when she wouldn’t behave as a child.
A blind man walks into a ladies bar by mistake. He manages to find a stool at the bar. After getting his drink he calls out to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The place falls silent.
A woman sitting by the man says in a husky voice, “Sir, there are five things you need to know before you tell that joke,
#1 the bartender is a blonde girl,
#2 the bouncer is a blonde woman,
#3 I am a 6’ 200 lb blonde woman with a black belt in karate,
#4 the woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter and
#5 the woman on the other side of you is a blonde professional wrestler”.
The bartender then asks the man “So sir, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The blind man pauses for a moment, shakes his head and says
“Nope… not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times”.
Okay total - I’m blonde and ai do find that funny lol.
Had to show that to my husband. His quote - “that is so true.”
Love it. Co-workers gifted me a tee-shirt that says, “Silently Correcting Your Grammar.” No clue why. 
Jim: “Earl, things are really looking up for you – soon, you’ll be on a roll!”
Earl: “Don’t say that.”
Jim: “But… why…?”
Earl: “Look, not every peanut dreams of becoming peanut butter. Would you enjoy being pulverized?”
