CC as a "hunting ground"? When narcissists DON'T outgrow it!

[berurah]

<p>

To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential sources of narcissistic supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/7-1-2003-42410.asp[/url]”>http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/7-1-2003-42410.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>What concerns me even more than adolescents demonstrating self-centered behavior and narcissistic tendencies is the adult who, having outgrown that stage, persists in this type of problematic and damaging behavior. Unfortunately, the internet provides a convenient and reinforcing environment for many of these impaired people. Take it from one who knows–the above-cited short article is excellent, spot on, and well worth a read. </p>

<p>~berurah</p>

[alwaysamom]

<p>berurah, thanks for sharing that article. It’s very interesting. I think that the internet has provided ‘opportunities’ for so many types of behavior but I’m not sure that, for most, it is going to advance behaviors that wouldn’t have been exhibited, or which are not being exhibited, in ‘real life’. There have always been narcissists and though they may be able to connect more easily with others via the internet, narcissists almost always find an outlet for their behavior, whether it’s with family members, co-workers, or at the local pub or coffee shop where they can hold court. :)</p>

<p>People need to be more savvy about what they read/hear/see/do and online, it becomes even more important, especially for young people. A case in point is the current hoopla surrounding a young girl who is a contestant on American Idol, and the photos circulating on the internet. It will be interesting to see how the show handles this issue.</p>

[berurah]

<p>

@alwaysamom

I think that the internet has provided ‘opportunities’ for so many types of behavior but I’m not sure that, for most, it is going to advance behaviors that wouldn’t have been exhibited, or which are not being exhibited, in ‘real life’.

always~</p>

<p>I would totally agree with the above statement, BUT…if there is an environment which makes exhibiting these behaviors easier or which provides, due to its very nature, reinforcement for such behavior, we need to be aware of it. Many people who are unfamiliar with pathological narcissism have a “light bulb moment” when they read about it for the first time. Often, behavior of a family member, a co-worker, or an online acquaintance becomes not only explainable, but predictable. Just as many pathological narcissists can be found in certain professions (politics, show biz), they can be found in more concentrated numbers on certain online fora.</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

[binx]

<p>

But a long exposure to the culture of the Net - irreverent, skeptical, and populist - usually exerts a beneficial effect even on the staunchest and most rigid narcissist. Far less convinced of his own superiority and infallibility, the online narcissist mellows and begins - hesitantly - to listen to others and to collaborate with them.

So it’s a good thing?</p>

<p>It was an interesting article, although much of it was over my head. I was a little concerned that he was equating all of us addicted to the Internet as narcissistic. But I am happy to know I will eventually be cured by it. :)</p>

<p>It pays to remember the plusses and minuses of Internet personalities. Just as one can set oneself up under any persona, I also am aware of the difficulty of projecting my “real” self using only words.</p>

[berurah]

<p>

@binx

It was an interesting article, although much of it was over my head. I was a little concerned that he was equating all of us addicted to the Internet as narcissistic.

binx~
<em>LOL</em> This is actually not what he was saying at all. He was simply pointing out that internet fora are easy and convenient places to demonstrate these behaviors <em>IF</em> you are already a person who displays them. The particular characteristics of this disorder lend themselves to this type of environment. By no means was he stating that anyone who enjoys (or even is “addicted” to) the internet is narcissistic. BUT…many NARCISSISTS <em>are</em> addicted because they can “bully” with few or no repercussions.</p>

<p>~b.</p>

[alwaysamom]

<p>berurah, I absolutely agree with you that the internet makes some behaviors more easily acted upon, and also agree that people need to be aware. I, too, have seen this type of narcissistic bully in online communities, including CC. :)</p>

[berurah]

<p>^^this thread was supposed to be related (and sort of a follow-up) to one one Roger started in the Parents Forum in narcissism in college students, but it got moved here <em>lol</em>. It really didn’t come out of left field! ;)</p>

[coronax2]

<p>Excellent article berurah. Since true narcissism doesn’t manifest itself until early adulthood, the Internet certainly is an attractive outlet for people with the disorder. </p>

<p>Several months ago, one of the more argumentative posters, referred to a comment he had made earlier on a thread. However, that comment was made by a “different” poster - oops. The use of two names in this instance wasn’t in the spirit of anonymity. This person was bolstering his argument using two names, while at the same time attacking and bashing others with the alias. Being somewhat new to online message boards at the time, I was quite surprised.</p>

[cheers]

<p>Interesting article, b. In general, I see way more narcissism among the CC kids. It’s the rare CC student poster who isn’t slightly self-obsessed.</p>

<p>

He/She fervently and aggressively tries to impose the “natural order” - either by monopolizing the interaction or, if that fails, by becoming a major disruptive influence.

</p>

<p>That describes quite a few.</p>

[dadofsam]

<p>Darn it; I’ve been found out!</p>

<p>

The cerebral claims … fake skills, erudition and talents… The constant attention and attendant quasi-celebrity feed and sustain their grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image.

</p>

<p>Here I have been, indulging my narcissistic fantasies of giving advice, of seemingly being a sage, of trying to emulate Curmudgeon - my cover is blown! (:eek:)</p>

[binx]

<p>

of trying to emulate Curmudgeon

Ah yes, the blind leading the blind. An invisible personality emulating another invisible personality. :)</p>

[kluge]

<p>Coronax2, I can top that – on a different BB years ago a poster came on to bash a particular organization, then posted again agreeing from a different perspective and supporting the “first” poster. But, web newbie that he was, he thought that by simply using different computers, he could conceal that he was the same person, even though he posted under the same screen name both times! An old-timer came on and asked: “Are you talking to yourself?”</p>

<p>Cringe-worthy, to say the least.</p>

[roshke]

<p>berurah, </p>

<p>I think the article you linked is right on target and says what I have occasionally thought to myself :rolleyes: These types are also especially present in any kind of local politics. It’s always easy to spot the type -holds court, loves to hear the sound of his or her own voice, enjoys the power and rarely gives back to others.</p>

[curmudgeon]

<p>kluge, on a bball board I used to post on (:() there was a veteran who had a screen image that whirred around and announced the ip address of those viewing his post. I have zero idea of how that worked but he was able to ferret out many posters that were talking to themselves. The best were the ones hyping their own kid with questions like “Has anybody seen H. Kluge. She’s a monster. She’s for sure D1. Who’s looking at her? They better get there quick.” And then in his other voice and name “I’ve seen her. She’s the real deal.” It was quite funny to watch him bust them with IP addresses. </p>

<p>From conversations with mods here on CC I know that they can do the same thing. ;)</p>

[astrophysicsmom]

<p>Say it ain’t so! You mean, not everyone here is being completely open and HONEST all the time??? :)</p>

[mstee]

<p>Okay, don’t know that much about what defines a narcissist, but using different names to talk to one’s self definitely qualifies. What, can’t get the response you want in real life or on-line? Talk to yourself. LOL. Never thought of that. </p>

<p>“Never thought of that you say, mstee?” </p>

<p>"Why, No! I never . . .</p>

[dadofsam]

<p>Talking to myself now qualifies me on two grounds, along with my entire extended family.</p>

[berurah]

<p>Okay, just for purposes of clarification: True pathological narcissism is a personality disorder as defined by the DSM-IV. There are nine criteria for diagnosis. One need only have five of them to be officially diagnosed (though most remain UNdiagosed for their entire lives as they figure the problem is <em>NOT</em> with them, but with the rest of the world! ) Here are the criteria. For the record, they do not include talking to oneself! :D</p>

<p>

1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love</p></li>
<li><p>Believes he is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)</p></li>
<li><p>Requires excessive admiration</p></li>
<li><p>Has a sense of entitlement</p></li>
<li><p>Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends</p></li>
<li><p>Lacks empathy</p></li>
<li><p>Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him</p></li>
<li><p>Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Translation: The treat other people like DIRT.

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html[/url]”>http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Recognize anyone you know?? Most people will. ;)</p>

[berurah]

<p>P.S. dadofsam~</p>

<p>Sorry to disappoint, but you are one of the LEAST narcissistic people I’ve “met” on CC! :)</p>

<p>~b.</p>

[mini]

<ol>
<li>An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)</li>
</ol>

<p>Commensurate with what? I was just born with it. </p>

<ol>
<li>Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love</li>
</ol>

<p>Yup. All subjects of many of my short stories.</p>

<ol>
<li>Believes he is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)</li>
</ol>

<p>I KNOW I am “special”; that’s why it is terrific to be on CC.</p>

<ol>
<li>Requires excessive admiration</li>
</ol>

<p>It isn’t excessive; it’s just required.</p>

<ol>
<li>Has a sense of entitlement</li>
</ol>

<p>Not a sense; I AM entitled (but to what I am yet to figure out.)</p>

<ol>
<li>Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends</li>
</ol>

<p>Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you?</p>

<ol>
<li>Lacks empathy</li>
</ol>

<p>For whom?</p>

<ol>
<li>Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him</li>
</ol>

<p>Others ARE envious of me (they should be!)</p>

<ol>
<li>Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes</li>
</ol>

<p>Totally innocent. Hey, 8 out of 9 isn’t bad. Where can I collect my flower? ;)</p>