<p>I wonder whether I’m in denial about being in denial. I know he’ll be gone next year, and I <em>think</em> I even support him going far away. But I will cry a river on the day he leaves – and the weeks leading up to it.</p>
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<p>I felt compelled to explain when people asked me why do I think he should be in a top college when he doesn’t even have a 3.6 GPA in high school; hence, my denial.</p>
<p>limabeans-Your response is “I love you, son.”</p>
<p>I’m in denial that DS listens to what I say…</p>
<p>We chose a four year private in 2005 with no merit or need aid for first son. Hey…it was a more “optimistic” time and nation plus we focused on “getting in” more than the long view. While I still hope this will “pay off” beyond the satisfaction that my son dearly loves his alma mater, in this recession, our regret is that we were in denial about the costs of graduate school. We are so tapped out that we can’t “help” our sons with costs we failed to factor in. I simply didn’t know and no one pointed this out…that our FAFSA is required at schools of law and many schools of medicine and business till our sons are 28. I didn’t say all grad schools…but some of our state’s flagship public graduate schools of law, medicine and business consider parental income fair game in calculating their institutional costs…not the Fed loan access. This is true for graduate schools both public and private…not all…but some.
So…if you are certain your son or daughter is emancipated at age 23 or if married or even if married with spouse and spouse has a job…think again. Some grad schools still expect parental contributions and consider tuiton a “family affair.”
If you can…anticipate graduate education costs and paths. for instance hard core science students who do research in undergrad…may get graduate assistantships. Don’t count on this type of of supplemental income for law students or in some MBA programs…be realistic. Definitely consider financial assists you may want to give to ameliorate debt for grad school. If you have a more modest good option for undergrad…consider it seriously rather than tapping yourself out in undergrad years. My spouse did law school for a total of 10 grand in debt. Multiply that by 15 and you get what today’s law students are taking on in a bad job market to boot.<br>
Look at the long haul when considering the needs of your son or daughter and do the math with them on their projected income vs debt.</p>
<p>RobD, as I was out running today, I was asking myself the same questions - what could/should we have cut out? DH and I are self-employed, and he in particular puts in long, long hours. We try to take one or two family trips per year, because it gives him something to look forward to. And the piano lessons, athletic fees, etc. have made our kids better-rounded people. Yep, I guess we’ll take things one day at a time and figure them out as we go along.</p>
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Wow, people can sure be rude to ask things like this.</p>
<p>I am in denial that they are grown up, and that life at home will never be quite the same…</p>
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<p>Oh, my, that will be hard for me. I’m glad my youngest is still only 11. I will miss her the most, though, I’m afraid.</p>
<p>I am in denial about the weight I have gained in the last couple of years until I see myself in a photograph.</p>
<p>I wish I were in denial about the amount of stress this college application process is giving me because then I could get more sleep. I worry about it ten times more than my child who is sitting on a deferral from her #1 choice and will not hear until late March or early April from that school and all the others she applied to. I need some more denial in my life on this topic and less denial on the status of my physical appearance!</p>
<p>I’ve been in denial about the amount of paper involved in applying. Reccs, writing samples, tax returns, too much…</p>
<p>Watching PCM burst into tears just thinking about S1 leaving for college in another 7 months, I’m in denial that I want to cry just as much and that I’ll miss him just as much as PCM.</p>
<p>Portrait of Husband’s Denial, last month: “How can she be telling us she’s engaged when she’s just 12 years old?” </p>
<p>My reply: “Because she’s 24 years old.”</p>
<p>I was in denial that my 14 year old daughter was as physically involved with her bf as she was; and that she would tell others about it. I was in denial that she was so desperately unhappy that she would let him manipulate her into doing things because he told her “it would make her feel better.” I was in denial that all those years of my telling her, “I just want you to be happy,” that she understood that to mean, “If you’re unhappy, I’ll be disappointed.”</p>
<p>But I’ve learned my lesson.</p>
<p>I am in denial that D is really going 700 miles away for college, and I’m REALLY in denial that she may love it there and make it her permanent home. </p>
<p>I am in denial that I am 47 years old, with a college degree, and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.</p>
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<p>So true! .</p>
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<p>Boo hoo! I can see my h saying that.</p>
<p>I’m in denial that my dd will go to college 1100 miles from home and like others have said, won’t really live “at home” again.</p>
<p>Not so much in denial but:</p>
<p>i had no idea that there were a bunch of prep schools where kids went to get a extra boost to top schools. I had no idea that kids in HS did research, competed in these huge math/science competitions and went to well known research camps in the summer.</p>
<p>I am soooo glad I didn’t know these things!!!</p>
<p>sax, I agree with you! DS LOVES biology and will be a wonderful college student, but he doesn’t have any of those activities on his resume. Makes me feel bad I didn’t know to look for those opportunities.</p>