<p>D. keeps asking for a cell phone. Almost everyone in her class has one, that’s probably why she is asking, not that she really needs it. Now there is a possibility that she might go to a 2 - 3 wk summer camp this year so I think it’s reasonable for her to have a cell phone.</p>
<p>I don’t want to see her texting too much. (the way kids do that make me sick. to be honest, I’d rather see her not texting at all. is it possible?) I think she can have a phone with camera so she can use it to take photos in the camp. I want to be able to control the time (how many min.) she uses it so she won’t give us a crazy phone bill. Also she is not a very organized person. so I probably should have warranty on the phone. </p>
<p>Any suggestions based on your experience? TIA.</p>
<p>Most camps won’t let them have the cell phone. What we did at first was have a cell phone that they could use when they needed it. For example- my D wanted to go on trail rides with another girl. I would give her the cell phone to use when they were at the barn and riding. After the ride the phone returned to me. At 15 1/2 she has the cell phone till bedtime. I try to have the cell sleep in my room. She texts constantly. My advice is to prolong the cell phone as long as possible.</p>
<p>I would go with a prepaid phone; that way you are not stuck with a contract and you can limit the number of minutes she can use a month. If she uses up her allotted minutes the first week, then she will just be without until the next month when you load it again.</p>
<p>I do not know how the text messaging works with the prepaid, but I would assume you can buy X number of text per month.</p>
<p>Prepaid is a good way to start. Our family really liked Virgin, but there are other options. You don’t need to get insurance for the handset; you can buy used handsets that use the same network (e.g. Sprint, AT&T, etc–the different prepaid services use one of the main carrier’s networks) on craigslist or ebay, or buy a new cheap prepaid handset, for far less than the insurance premiums.</p>
<p>The cameras on cell phones are usually pretty lousy compared to an inexpensive digital camera. If the cell phone doesn’t have a removeable memory card, it can be quite expensive to download the pictures from the phone. For camp, I’d suggest going with a separate camera.</p>
<p>Texting is a whole 'nother ball of wax. Many kids don’t understand how much the texts cost, or how many they are sending, and suddenly end up with massive bills. With a prepaid phone, that just means the phone will run out of money and your child won’t be able to make calls or texts.</p>
<p>AT&T has pre-paid phones also, you can buy them at Target or WalMart. The SIM card in them will fit into another phone so as your daughter gets older she can move all her numbers, etc to another phone.</p>
<p>Warning: I’m going into soap-box teacher mode here. Text messaging is causing huge harm to this age group. Imagine if all the snotty things you thought or said at 11 were not only sent out to everyone you ever had contact with, but recorded for eternity. Can you compromise with a phone that doesn’t include texting or has severe limits on it, and no camera?</p>
<p>I got my first cell phone at 12. I had a phone that couldn’t text. I got my first texting phone at 14 and then was upgraded to unlimited texts because I was on my parent’s plan. The warning for me was that if my grades dropped, I was texting past midnight, or if I was texting during school that texting would be disabled on my phone (yes, I did end up doing all of these things). For about three years, I averaged around 3,000 texts a month (it’s really hard to keep track of). </p>
<p>The prepaid phones are good except when kids use them up right away (because then what good is a cell phone if you can’t use it? Especially true if there’s an emergency). If you don’t want your child texting, you can have texting deactivated by the company. If texts are allowed to go out/come through, then trust me they will no matter what warnings you give. </p>
<p>All I can add is that kids will text if the phone has the capability. My H was totally against texting, period. he would tell S to not use that feature. Unfortunately that is how teenagers communicate, they never call each other. My H’s attempt was futile and after a few months he upgraded S’s phone to unlimited texting. The thought that once they use up a certain allotment of minutes/texts that they can’t use the phone til the next month would not work for us. I need/want to be able to contact my S at all times he is out of the house, if he doesn’t have his phone I have no way of doing that. And if he needs to be able to contact us I want him to be able to do that also. </p>
<p>We did not buy my S a cell phone btw til he started commuting into the city for high school. Although “all his friends” had phones in middle school we waited til he was around 13-14yo.</p>
<p>We have AT&T Prepaid phones. We pay $100 per phone per year. The phones have texting capability but we can turn it off with a call to AT&T. The phones that we have are not really conducive to texting as they don’t have a keyboard but I guess that’s not a problem for a lot of kids.</p>
<p>You can buy the phones at an AT&T store, online or at WalMart. They cost less at WalMart but you have to do some of the setup work yourself.</p>
<p>A comment on taking pictures: Verizon usually requires that you email pictures which incurs a charge. With AT&T, I can download pictures from my phone using BlueTooth to my Mac for free. I think that most phones allow you to download pictures to your computer via BlueTooth - Verizon doesn’t. BlueTooth is a nice feature if you want to connect the phone to other devices.</p>
<p>There are very inexpensive phones around $20 if your child is prone to losing things.</p>
<p>Make sure that coverage for your service provider is good in the area where she will be most of the time.</p>
<p>herandhismom, Our 12 year old has an inexpensive pre-paid phone with a set amount of texts and minutes per month. When they’re gone, they’re gone (until the new month begins), so she has to be somewhat careful. Does she “need” the phone? No. At first, I fought it, but her older brother, who teaches 6th grade, echoed what mamom said above: Texting is the primary form of communication among these kids. It’s a powerful social network, and at age 12, being “out of the loop” is very tough. So we consented (with the aforementioned limits) and it’s worked out well.</p>
<p>Most of my 12 year old D’s friends have cell phones. They also have Facebooks. She has neither! At this point in her life, she is not frequenting places much that a phone isn’t accessible to her if she needs to call us (at school for practices, at a friends house, etc.) If she goes somewhere (like the movies) where we want her to have a phone, we give her one of ours, but that is very infrequent. The only purpose to have one right now would be for social reasons. She hasn’t begged for one and understands that she will likely get one by high school when she will likely have more activities away for us to stay in contact. </p>
<p>At our school conference this year the first ? the teacher asked was if she had a cell- we said no. She said they have had trouble (this is a Catholic school) with borderline texting during school hours - are you kidding me? </p>
<p>I have said ok to an Itouch this year, PERHAPS a Facebook after she turns 13 (one that I will have full access to and will check occassionally) and a phone when her activities warrant the need for contact. She is absolutely trustworthy and a really good kid, but we just don’t believe in providing these things just “because”.</p>
<p>Our kids got phones around age 12 so they could call for rides from the hockey rink, baseball field etc. I will tell you that they tend to lose or damage their first phone, so don’t spend a lot of money on it. I like the pre paid idea because you can set a texting limit. If you go with a regular plan and she goes way over her minutes/texts, you will fall off your chair when the statement arrives in the mail. </p>
<p>Some kids stay up late texting in bed, so don’t let her have the phone when she should be sleeping. And don’t fall for the “but mom, I need to use the alarm function on my phone”. This is embarrassing to admit, but sometimes the only way I can get ahold of my kids is via texting. The little stinkers will not answer a call, but they will glance at the screen when a text comes in.</p>
<p>Just call me old fashioned, but my 14 (almost 15) year old D2 does not have a cell phone. I figure she will just not have it when I want to reach her, or it will not be charged… Also, reception is bad inside the school building, and that is where I am looking for her 90% of the time!</p>
<p>For D1, we got her a cell phone when she got her driver’s license. At that point it is important for safety so she can call me and/or AAA if the car breaks down. I pay the voice plan (on our family plan), she has to pay for her own texting plan. D2 will get the same deal. As D2 has shown little interest in even taking driver’s ed yet, I expect it will be a couple of years before she gets her license and a phone. She has commented that most of her friends have phones, but really hasn’t whined about this. She knows she is free to spend her own allowance money or gift money from grandparents on a phone if she wants to – and suddenly it is much less important. Just for the record, she goes to a private school where most of the kids have phones. So far the lack of a phone has not made her an outcast :)</p>
<p>Some of this is because I geniunely do not believe that a phone is essential at this age. It is a luxury. Some is because I know that those little charges (what is another $20-$25 a month?) add up in my budget; I am in a business that has peaks and valleys, and I try to keep my set monthly expenses like this low so it isn’t so hard to cut back when a valley occurs.</p>
<p>My suggestion is wait until she is older. “Everybody is doing it”? Are you kidding?
That line has been used a thousand times by every kid growing up since- well since kids have grown up. My S used it, I used it, I suspect my mother used it to her parents.
Send her a $7. disposable camera for her pics. A 12 yr old doesn’t need their own personal phone, especially if it is true she is the only American girl of 12 without one. In fact, if that IS true, then there are SO many phones around that someone else can loan her one if there’s an emergency.
But if she wants a phone really bad, can she afford it? Yes, she. Oh, she wants YOU to pay? It is a big luxury at this time. The child is better served if you’d put money in a college fund rather than paying for a personal cell phone for her. Unless of course u have money to burn.</p>
<p>I think a prepaid cell with no texting would be fine…my D had a cell once she was 13 and I’ve always been glad she could get in touch with me easily. But I would wait on the texting-- middle school is a hotbed of bullying and bullying by text is incredibly easy. By high school things have stabilized a bit. (D got texting at 15-- before that she used to type on the keyboard so she would seem to be texting, when she was in an awkward social situation. It worked great!)</p>
<p>Thanks all for your suggestions. We’ll look into some prepaid cell phones. (no texting sounds good.)
I’m actually really leaning toward that. but you know how sometimes we give in. The excuse is maybe it’s good for her to have a phone in the camp. We’ll see.
Texting in youngsters really bothers me. I’m just afraid that if her phone has that feature she will be addicted. A friend of mine told me her D. (11 years old) claimed to her because she was not allowed to have a phone with texting ability, she was excluded by her friends because all of them communicate with each other through texting. That’s really worrisome, don’t you think?</p>
<p>A case sample of two, but maybe my kids are bizarre: they have phones that have great text-ability, but they only text occasionally (a few a day, like one uses the phone). And they have unlimited and we’ve never had restrictions (since its not been an issue yet). In fact my 15 yo suggested yesterday that maybe we should change their plans away from unlimited texting since they don’t use the texting feature that much and so we are playing for something that isn’t really being used. They have tons of friends and do text with them, to make plans or change them, to ask for something, but it’s not their primary way of interaction with them. </p>
<p>I have no idea why they and their friends do not text the way I keep reading about it, and I wish I knew so I could be more helpful. But it does suggest at least that it is not always the case that if kids can text, they text like crazy. </p>
<p>I like being able to reach them if I’m running late, or if they need to tell me something of a time sensitive nature and they know I’m at work and can’t talk. And they always send me a text when they and their friends are changing their physical locations, without having to show their friends they are ‘calling home’ (“mom, we are leaving stephen’s now and going to the rink”; “mom I’m on the bus but the traffic is blocked because of an accident at 8th street”). All of us in our family appreciate being able to text, but again, it is honestly just here and there and the kids have no interest in texting as a social activity.</p>
<p>I think once kids are ‘out and about’ in the world (e.g. old enough to babysit, can go to the store by themselves, can take the bus with friends) having a phone and one with text is hugely valuable.</p>
<p>My kids have been to lots of camps of various types, and they are ALWAYS told to keep leave their phones at home. You kid has no need for a phone at camp. They are there to meet new people, try new activities, learn skills, etc. A phone just gives them a way to call you and whine if they are homesick or don’t like the food or their roomate, instead of dealing with the situation themselves. The ONLY way I could see one being necessary is if your kid is flying by herself to the camp.</p>
<p>Oh, and my kids have taken various kinds of cameras to camp (disposable, “real film”, digital, and phones). They really never do anything with those photos again, all get pitched/deleted. So it isn’t essential.</p>
The excuse is maybe it’s good for her to have a phone in the camp. We’ll see.