Have you reached out to both men’s team at Columbia - light and heavy - 2 different coaches and teams.(light wins national championships) Barnard admits are Columbia D1 athletes and you mention Barnard is a top choice. Do you have test scores and just not submitting? You mention soft support - depending on the school/coach that does mean something especially for a cox. Do you really want D1 sports = 25-30 hours a week all school year? Yes, students walk on as a cox - but top teams want experience too. Have you checked rosters to see the year of coxes - any holes? For the soft support school - is it a top choice and have you checked back in with the coach to confirm that your app is submitted and that you would love to join the team plus pull out something personal like a comment from their social media or upcoming race schedule, comment about team culture etc - if this is really what you want to do.
Dartmouth is rebuilding men’s team and some coaching changes - reach out there too. Test scores for the Ivys do matter - so that may be a hiccup this late in the game. Is your test score strong for your HS - that context could matter too.
Being a good cox is not easy and a woman that can manage 8 young men on a boat is an asset. You don’t mention race results - have you coxed Charles, Youth Nationals or ? Charles is a great race to show coxing skills.
As you know, crew is a tight community and having that built in support at college is wonderful.
I will say your list does throw me a bit if crew is a priority - if it is - then go for it with the schools on your list that have teams.