he’s just trying to keep undergrad cheap to save for med school, so our lists have ended up looking totally different! and the fact that the rest of my 529, minus some money for grad school and potentially anything i roll over into a roth, will probably go to his 529 instead doesn’t hurt, haha.
thank you to everyone for the kind words!
final results (minus kcl because who knows when they’ll get back to me 
)
safeties:
targets:
reaches:
waiting:
spent two days earlier this week at washu and had a blast; planning to tour vanderbilt in april. going to start looking this weekend at narrowing things down and booking trips to the other finalists. i had no idea what to expect given how unpredictable admissions are, so am surprised and so so grateful to have the options that i do!
Wow… that was a lot of applications, that you clearly completed well or you wouldn’t have these amazing results. Congratulations 
Hmm, this thread will be suspenseful: are you going to turn down Harvard for WashU, Vanderbilt, or Smith?
In any case, do tell us about your impressions when visiting these different colleges 
Wow! Looking forward to the decision!
it sure was a time haha–i lost access to my adhd meds for a three ish month period between early november and mid february. so all the rd applications were done unmedicated, most on the days they were due. i did not sleep a lot the first week in january, and i got very good at reusing supplements haha
right now the biggest thing for me is that harvard doesn’t have an ed major or even a teacher prep program (it was cut last year or the year before it). and given that as a full pay family, the price gap would be very very significant, even though i know that you don’t need an ed degree to teach, i’m interested in educational policy + really love the idea of studying ed through a social justice lens, which i wouldn’t necessarily be able to do in the same way at harvard as i would at washu, for instance. my mother, on the other hand, is pushing harvard 110% (on the one hand, i’m so so grateful that she’s able + willing to pay, but on the other, eek!), so we’ll see. it is harvard, and my ego definitely likes the idea of being able to tell people i’m committing 
leaning away from the uk schools because i don’t think their style of education would mesh well with my adhd.
visitas is scheduled during the MOSAIC weekend at vanderbilt, and as harvard is much more convenient for me to tour another day, i’m going to stick with my plans of visiting vanderbilt. i think i’d like to see northwestern, penn, and maybe vassar/wesleyan in terms of the schools that aren’t local to me (maybe haverford as well) but it’d be hard to fit them all in a month, even with april break.
i adored washu’s scholars program. my dad compared it to having sports teammates, and i felt like it was a really good metaphor; the idea of having upperclassmen buddies to guide me and a pre-existing community on campus before i even arrive, as well as the biweekly check ins through dinners (+ free catering) that would prevent me from falling through the cracks if i struggle with mental health. also, the alumni network is incredible, and anecdotes shared about internships at vanderbilt medical school + free law school advising from someone highly recognized in the law school field definitely sounded incredible. the campus was gorgeous and just the right size, i sat in on an ed psych class that was really interesting, the dorms are super highly rated, and i got the impression that the student body is less cutthroat and very intellectual/nerdy. also, it just made me happy to see such a diverse group of people in the scholars program coming from an affluent, 75% white high school. i feel like i would have so much to learn from my classmates and was excited by the idea of living somewhere outside of the massachusetts “bubble.” it was probably my top choice pre-northwestern + ivy day, but i’m not sure how things have shifted now.
this feels like a brain dump more for myself than for y’all, and i might come back to this thread because working through my thoughts this way has very much been helpful 
congrats! im just a student, and im from a full pay family as well, so take everything i say with a grain of salt. but here’s just something to think about.
If you want to go into teaching, best to not spend crazy money on a degree. You will likely have to pursue grad school and teaching is kind of a low paying field (they deserve to be paid more, but aren’t). you also got into schools of the same caliber as harvard with full tuition. definitely something to think about.
at the end of the day though, go to visits and it seems your parents are okay with any of these options, so pick where you think you will be the happiest. that matters the most (i also have adhd and i would make sure you also pick a school that’ll support that!)
Your happiness is priceless- if harvard makes you happy and you can pay, go. just think- if you like vandy the same, you are saving tons of money (that you can buy a house with!)
any thoughts on ROI for the full pay non-harvard schools? specifically thinking about upenn and northwestern. my parents think only harvard would be worth full pay, and it is their money, but they also don’t really know much about the college process/rankings/prestige of any schools (my dad thought tufts and vanderbilt could be safeties for me). obviously they can spend their money how they like, but should i bother asking them to reconsider if they’d let me at least visit those two, or do y’all agree with them?
for context, i started this process assuming i’d probably end up at wesleyan or vassar LAC type schools, and if i didn’t have harvard/vanderbilt/washu/upenn, vassar, northwestern, and wesleyan would probably be my top three i was deciding between. but i don’t think i could talk my parents into even considering something like wesleyan or vassar, which is honestly a little disappointing as i’m still interested in getting to check out these schools even if i probably would go with the money over them. so i guess i’d like to check out at least these other two that i can maybe justify more than wesleyan/vassar
Is this still the goal:
“Applying for education or psychology, sometimes English/creative writing depending on the school (e.g. Kenyon). The goal is to be either a secondary school English teacher or work in educational administration/policy, potentially in a role serving LGBTQ+ students”
If so, the more inexpensive the better!!!
ROI stats that you read about focusing on future earnings are almost meaningless for any one specific person, they only matter for aggregates. If you are confident that you don’t want to do consulting, investment banking, engineering, medical professions, etc., and that you prefer to focus on education, policy, and social services, then you will not be earning a ton of money no matter where you go to college (said as someone who does not think that life decisions should be based on where you’ll earn the most money, but rather, where you will find fulfillment, so I’m with you!).
A school that inspires you, that you like, and where you feel a good fit will lead to better outcomes than a school with a great name where you are unhappy or less than fully engaged. A school that doesn’t offer the classes that you want to prepare you for the future that you want, no matter how great it’s name, is not the right school. A school where you have no or few peers that share your interests (and from who you can learn, bounce ideas back and forth, and dream together) is not the right school.
Many students turn down Harvard each year (or else they would admit only as many students as they have in their freshman class). Those students and their families believe that some other school is a better fit for what they want out of college.
And @tsbna44 is correct - the less money spent on undergrad, the more that is available for other things in your (or their) lives.
Yes, you should beg your parents to look at these other options with you, and allow you to have the opportunity to determine if Harvard is, in fact, the right school for you.
Personally…it’s a cool flex to be able to say you got into Harvard (Cambridge even moreso!) but the folks I’ve known who’ve gone there for undergrad have not uniformly loved it.
I think there are a couple of lenses here:
a) school culture + academics (where will you thrive, find your people?)
b) value.
I don’t personally see Harvard landing on top of either list given what you’ve shared. I do think getting to go to a place like WashU or Vandy w/ a big scholarship would be amazing, although if your family is full-pay anyway, it’s not as though you’d be graduating with a bunch of debt. Vandy’s ed school is phenomenal (not sure how much you’d love the culture of the school but it’s worth visiting.) I have a friend from undergrad teaching linguistics in the ed school and he’s been super happy there.
One of my besties from Wesleyan taught at Vandy for many years and was very impressed with the place. And, I’ll be brutally frank with you: I think it’s cruel when upper-class parents force their kids to go to Harvard against their will. I can understand it in the case of someone who is FGLI; the boost someone can get from that background is enormous. But for someone whose parents have taken as obvious an interest in the admissions process as your own have - and who can’t even qualify for Harvard’s enormously generous need-based aid - Harvard is not the lifechanging event that it might be for everyone else.
You will do okay there; they have lots of redundancies in place that will keep you from flunking out. But they have the lowest annual alumni giving rates among the private colleges in the east for a couple of reasons: First of all, no one thinks they need the money and secondly, because Harvard is probably the poster child for cliquey colleges. Count yourself lucky if you and your first-year roommates get along because that’s the full extent to which the university goes about fostering community. From there on out, you are completely on your own.
And they don’t have your major.
Harvard is just a ribbon, a flex - it’s not a good fit for you and nothing you said makes me think you’ve changed&become a new person that fits Harvard, or changed your mind.
Your parents can flex till May or even June (due to the FAFSA mess) saying “she’s hesitating between Cambridge, Harvard, Vandy, and WashU…” then if they wish they can complete that bit with “but Harvard doesn’t have her major and Cambridge is so far away whereas she got into an elite, special program at Vandy&WashU so it’s a real dilemma”.
You’ve got a brilliant mind and are a great person, you are in the incredible position of being able to make choices without financial considerations : choose for you, not for the fleeting flex.
As a parent of a full pay student, I just cam’t imagine paying full price for a school when there is the option of Vanderbilt for free when the goal is teaching. Congrats on all of your accomplishments and acceptances and Vandy for free!!
You have Vandy for free? Not sure why this would be a question!
Ok yes, it’s a flex to say you got into Harvard or whatever. Imo, it’s even more of a flex to get to say you turned down Harvard for a better fit school. That’s the kind of person I’d wanna be friends with. I know someone who turned down Princeton for Bowdoin, fyi. They are very happy too.
Go to Vandy or Wash U. They are great schools, they have your major, and you received a top scholarship to both.
Harvard does not have your major. The Harvard grad I know (graduated a few years ago) wanted to teach HS and attended one of our public city colleges for a masters after graduation.
If you want education policy I would go to Vandy for free (or Wash U) and then Columbia (Teachers College) for a masters in education policy.
And lastly…congratulations!
And Mt. Holyoke and WUSTL too. I mean, a case could be made for any of the three.
And OP, there are people who turn down Ivies or top tier for state schools, let alone for elite privates like Bowdoin.
You’d have lots of friends out there
My kid turned down Harvard to attend another school. He (nor I typically) mention it because no one believes you, and who cares about what you could have done 
Once the decision was made it was never discussed again. The only time he reflected on it to us was at his graduation where he mentioned that he will never know what would have been but was very happy to be exactly where and who he was at that moment.
Whatever you decide you have earned great options. Please be truly introspective and consider what will make you both happy and unhappy and only listen to your own heart.
Just don’t be that pathetic person who spends a lifetime telling people about schools you turned down to validate yourself. You will be amazing for what you do not what you didn’t do.
Good luck.
Now obviously you are not any of us. Where you’ll be happy is for you to decide- not us. But personally the free ride to Vandy would be too good for me to pass up.