Agree 100%. I can’t shake the feeling that some commenters relish the “reality check” role. Some things need to be said, but we need to be self-aware about our motivations.
Certain types of reality checks are needed. (The kid who thinks OOS publics are going to give her need-based aid… the one who thinks his outside scholarship will cover his EFC… the one who will be disqualified for the UC’s because they’ve never taken a visual/performing arts class.) Knowledge is power, and if there are facts a kid needs to know that will impact their process, it would be irresponsible not to tell them - especially if it’s something they can still do something about.
For sure, the kid with no safety/likely schools needs to be urged to find some and offered help with that, even though it may not be what they asked and they may decline the help. The financial questions should be raised, although if the kid or parent assures us that they’ve got that part handled, we needn’t continue to harp on it.
The proposed “stock answer” is excellent. Sometimes we have more thoughts to add that could be helpful, but normalizing a stock answer that declines to read tea leaves seems like a great idea. And posts that emphasize the importance of a balanced list, and help stressed-out kids (and parents) to see that not only are they special, but that all sorts of colleges are special, too, can make a difference even if the OP isn’t the reader who takes that message to heart.