I think your stats would be competitive anywhere. Any top CS program is a lottery ticket for everyone. You just have to play. The only question is cost. Personally, I don’t think any undergrad CS program is worth debt. I think your parents reasoning is solid.
You safeties look solid. I’d think about adding FSU. NMF gets a ton of money and instant admit into the Honors program. A few other schools give good merit to NMF students. I think Northeastern might be a candidate.
Other top CS schools that might be affordable OOS would be Georgia Tech, UIUC, Wisconsin, UT Austin, Maryland, UMass, and Purdue. Any lower rated schools probably wouldn’t be an upgrade over your in-state schools especially for the cost.
I think you’d be good fit for GT. You’d probably get a bump for female and full-pay OOS. Write a good essay. If you get deferred write a letter of interest.
Of course MIT, CMU, and Stanford would be great but expensive.
We had a budget with our kids. Any state school was affordable (Pitt, PSU, Temple). After that you’ll have to get merit if you don’t want to stay in-state. No FA for us.
When S20 got into Georgia Tech we agreed to pay more. It was a no brainer especially since he’ll probably graduate in 3 years with AP/dual enrollment classes. S21 ended-up at FSU with OOS tuition waiver and Honors program. He’s happy too. Good luck.