You are right in many ways. From a parent’s perspective, I can see your frustration with my mindset. I want to preface that I do not look down on lower-ranked schools. The people there are wonderful and brilliant, and many don’t have the money to go to prestigious schools despite being equally or even smarter than those at top colleges. I apologize if it came off that way at all. Even as I was drafting a response right now, I began to feel like it sounded like I did, which wasn’t my intention at all. So I am coming back to apologize. You and I clearly have completely different perspectives. I’m probably not going to change yours, and you probably won’t change mine. So I do not really see the point in justifying my thoughts. I disagree with some things you said, but I won’t say what, because my opinion most likely doesn’t matter to you. But I can at least show you my perspective as a student since you showed me yours as a parent.
My high school costs 15k/semester. So in total, my parents would have spent around 60k. I was the one who convinced them to send me here. I wanted better opportunities, a better environment, and to be challenged. And I was, and I grew from it a lot. The same applies to my mindset for college. Obviously, prestige matters to me, but the top schools also have the rigor, the environment. They force you to be better. I want to be able to have growth, in both my learning and as a person. I don’t want to just “thrive.” I want to be surrounded by “a ton of smart kids” because then I can challenge myself and learn from people better than me. I struggled with academics when I first transferred to my new high school. I would pull all-nighters to cram everything the night before the exam because I wasn’t used to studying beforehand and learning so much content for one test. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. And when it didn’t, I learned to change my habits and my methods of studying. I had to reflect, and I had to make myself better. And I’m proud of myself for it. If I don’t do well academically, that means I have room to improve. I have space to learn. If I get As on everything like I did at my old school, what’s the point? I’m not learning. I understand a 4.0 is important for medical school. But I don’t want a fake 4.0 just to struggle badly in medical school. I’d rather truly learn, take whatever GPA I truly deserve, and apply with a genuine passion to learn. If they reject me, then I’ll just keep trying harder. Even without the pressure, factoring out everything else in my environment, I’d still choose what I want right now.
I genuinely appreciate your concern. I can tell you are knowledgeable about things regarding college. I’m glad your daughter is doing well and is happy with her decisions. As the saying goes, “only you know what’s best for yourself.” And I believe what I think is best for myself. Maybe some is from the pressure, some is from other “superstitious” things about top colleges I’ve heard, but my life experiences all factor into my mindset and my goals for myself. I will be fine even if I make bad decisions for myself. It’s all part of life. Maybe one day I’ll regret not listening to you. But that’s for another day, another lesson to improve and reflect on that’ll make me a better person. Thank you for wishing me good luck.