I can absolutely promise you that middle and upper middle class white males are, and will continue to be, well-represented on college & university campuses. You are not at any sort of systemic socio-economic or cultural disadvantage. And, I truly hope you don’t allow the hint of that to bleed through on any of your apps. It would not be a good look.
For future reference (for any remaining apps, or for anyone else who may be reading this)-- If I had the opportunity to direct a letter of recommendation from a high school counselor, I’d ask them to focus on school community impact vs. academic results (which will be apparent from a transcript). Particularly so for selective college admissions, and merit-based scholarships. Some of the best advice that I got, and that I passed on to my own student was this; great students come a dime a dozen at “great schools”. What sets you apart from ALL of the many other great students? How did you use your intelligence and character to make a positive impact in your school community? What legacy are you leaving them? ← That’s the basis for the counselor recommendation that you want.
It’s hard to tell from the description of your essay, but I hope that (ultimately) your essay is about YOU. I hope it reveals elements of your personal strength, character, passion(s), growth, evolution, and engagement. It hope it tells YOUR story, not your uncle or grandfather’s stories (as heartbreaking as it sounds… and I’m sorry for your losses.). And, I hope it reveals the true you that the decision-makers will want to meet, see on their campus, and desire to be a part of their community.
Realistically, maybe this year more than any other, it’s nearly impossible to “chance” students. The ever-evolving nature of college admissions keeps us all guessing. Good luck! 