<p>Note: A month to go. Too much nervous energy…This is to mock all chance me threads…They are misleading scary funny and just plain evil…</p>
<p>Ok my pet Chimpanzee named Marcelle</p>
<p>His stats:
SAT (simian assesment test): 2160
ACT (a.k.a monkey see monkey do): 100%</p>
<p>*His blood is A+ (thats 4.0 in his high school)
*He is a RBE Champ (rapid bannana eating champion)
*He has been digging his nose for 12 consecutive years</p>
<p>My joke for you guys: Why do monkeys have big nostrils…?
Ans: Because they have big fingers…</p>
<p>I’d say he has a good chance. After all, Cornell does have the reputation of being the easiest Ivy to get into. Whether he can stay in is another matter . . .</p>
<p>He’s only an RBE champ. I know a neighbor whose brother has a friend whose boss’s daughter is a friend of a cousin of a guy that has a chimp that’s an RBS champ! As we all know, RBS (Rapid Banana Stuffing) is so much more prestigious than RBE. And I heard he applied to Cornell, too. On top of that, he’s an URM (Under-Respresented Mutant) with pink fur!
And he’s also an inventor of new efficient way of picking flees out of fur.
So… I don’t know, man… I’m sure Marcelle has great chances, but let him be aware of competition.</p>