Chances, please, for an international luminary.

College Confidential Community
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<p>Before I divulge my stats – </p>

<p>First, some background information. I was conceived on top of Mount Aconcagua in Chile. My parents specifically chose this location because they thought that conceiving me close to the stars would allow me a closer connection with the heavens, and accordingly, the gods. They believed – rightfully – that this connection would instill some divine powers in me. </p>

<p>And so I grew up to become the single most brilliant and talented adolescent alive. Even the greats – Mozart, Grotius, Nietzsche, Newton, Plato, Einstein – whispered among themselves in their heavenly dens as they watched me surpass them in every respect. I had composed a symphony at the age of 3/4 years. My treatise on international law made Grotius’s oeuvre seem like Green Eggs and Ham. And breathing the presence of the gods daily, I knew for a fact that Nietzsche was regretting his statement, “God is dead.” Meanwhile, Plato wrote The Republic; 2200 years later, I responded with, “Logical Fallacy in The Republic.” As for Einstein, oh Einstein, where to begin? Having already trounced him in the field of self-grooming, it was only a little while later (at the age of 3) that I discovered his theories were incompatible with fundamental Maxwellian postulates. </p>

<p>Of course, these are only a few of my accomplishments. Here we are, the rest of them:</p>

<p>SAT: 2400, ACT: 36, SATIIs: 800 on 12 tests, AP: 5s on all 37 subjects, IB: 7s on 6 exams.</p>

<p>These were all taken before my second birthday, incidentally. Tests that would ordinarily have conflicted with each other were rescheduled.</p>

<p>AMC10, 12: 150s, AIME: 15, qualified for USAMO, MOP, and IMO. I’ve won 1 silver and 12 gold medals at the IMO. So far. Oh, and I scored a perfect paper three years in a row at both the IMO and the IPhO. I have likewise scored a perfect at the IChO, ICO and IBO six times each.</p>

<p>I am really hot.</p>

<p>But. I have a very flawed self-perception when it comes to extracurriculars. Could you set me straight?</p>

<p>1) I am currently governor of the state in which I live.<br>
2) I am an Olympic athlete, having most recently won 12 gold medals and 3 silver medals at the Athens games.
3) I am principal oboist of the Boston Pops and Symphony Orchestras. I am concertmaster of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.
4) I have published three books that won 2 Pulitzers each. Yes, they’re that good.
5) After conducting the first experimental research on the validity of string theory, I discovered that the universe can only be composed of an even number of dimensions, making string theory, which claims 11 dimensions, a farce. I was awarded a Nobel Prize in Physics by the grateful physics community.<br>
6) I coordinate RSI and TASP.
7) I have won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress (“Transamerica”).</p>

<p>So…what are my chances at the big H? It seems to me that I have a decent shot, but one can never be too sure. I’d appreciate any feedback.</p>

<p>By the way, you might think I’m being facetious. I’m not.</p>

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<p>50/50, assuming your essay doesn’t stink.</p>

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<p>don’t feed the ‘resentful rejectee’ ■■■■■■</p>

4

<p>Sounds like you aren’t too satisfied with how your high school life went down and so are wishing to live a fantasy (why don’t you stop ********ting everything and do something productive to society and yourself)…reject at Harvard</p>

5

<p>You fail at life.</p>

6

<p>harvard would just be a huge waste of time and money for you</p>

7

<p>Eh, weak ECs. Get the Nobel Lit Prize and maybe they’ll be nice and just defer you</p>

8

<p>I dont think u can get into harvard with ur sat scores. They just accept 2500 +
lol</p>

9

<p>just remember, any ivy league college isnt a sure bet for anyone. i think you have a decent chance, but i wouldnt get my hopes up.</p>

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<p>Whats with all the pseudo-I’m-ironic-threads all about? geez…</p>

11

<p>I think you better start worrying pal coz you’re not getting in with those stats! Ivies look for real talent and i’m afraid you don’t have it!
Sorry.</p>

<p>Ps: Don’t bother sending an application, trust me!</p>

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<p>GG scherzando1… GG…</p>

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<p>While you have a wide variety of ec’s I think you need to focus on depth and content as opposed to quantity. Try to further pursue 2 or 3 of your greatest passions (further research into the string theory, perhaps?)</p>

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<p>[sarcasm] wow! this guy is hilarious! he’s making fun of a situation in the same way that people have been making fun of it for, around, 5 years!
original AND funny!
hahahaha. man, i’m jealous of this guy [/sarcasm]</p>

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<p>That was pretty clever though, you have to admit.</p>

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<p>except for the fact that like 20 people have already done it</p>

<p>okay, being born at the top of a mountain was original… but othe than that… nodda bit original</p>

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<p>how are your recommendations?</p>

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<p>The intro was really funny about the gods.</p>

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<p>When Jupiter is in the 7th House of College Admissions, that means the Chosen are automatically accepted to the college of their choice. But if this is not the case, beware the Ides of March, for this is when your rejection letter will come.</p>

<p>BOO!</p>

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<p>Guys I wouldn’t believe scherzando1, because I personally know the guy who is in the Guiness (did i spell it right?) World Book of Records, for having the most gold medals at IMO. That’s a ■■■■■…</p>