<p>So I was in the car with my parent a couple day ago and we had a discussion about how many parents actually change their son/daughter’s room into another type of room. They made my older sibling pack up all his stuff when he went to college and made it into a den. Now I’m packing all my stuff up and they are painting my room and turning it into an office. I’m fine with that because if i come home for summer,etc. I’ll still have a place to sleep and stay. So it’s not that big of a deal to me.</p>
<p>So my question is how many of you parents are doing the same thing?? How many are just leaving it the same?? My guess is that a lot of parents just leave it the same because you have to find some place to store the child’s stuff, feel like until they move out completely than it’s still their room, or are just to lazy to change the room and make their kid pack all their stuff. Just my guess. I’m kinda interested of what other parents make their kids do.</p>
<p>I left my son’s room just as it was. Now we’re in the midst of trying to sell our house and move(anyone want to buy a fixer upper in Oakland, CA? PM me). Plans for the new house include a room for my son with all his stuff in it and a room for my two girls (non-biological children) for when they come and visit. Somethings will change though - I’m hoping the next house will have bigger bedrooms so there’s room for a queen size bed in my S’s room rather than just one twin bed.</p>
<p>LOL> Actually I wanted to change some furniture around to make stuff “fit” better- my oldest has a large bedroom and he used to have a set of drums in there along with his furniture, but now they’re gone (he moved them up to college with him :)). I wanted to put two twin beds in there (right now I have one stored) and move his double bed into another bedroom. He had a fit! Said I was making his room into a hotel room (because of the two twins being side by side). So I just left it the way it is. There’s a lot more room now.</p>
<p>No changes - besides hopefully being able to actually clean in there with a good bit of the stuff gone.</p>
<p>For us, she’s going to college, not getting married. She’s not far from home and I want her to have her room here as she knows it until she decides she doesn’t need that familiarity anymore. Maybe that will be a year or four or more…unless I had a great need, I would not change it…</p>
<p>I’d love to turn my son’s room into the guest room so guests wouldn’t have to trek up to the attic, but it would be a bother and I don’t think you could fit a bunk bed in the attic. (Has a queen size futon now.) I am trying to clear out some of the kids books that I know ds has no interest in.</p>
<p>I have 2 kids in college, a senior D and a junior S. I haven’t made any wholesale changes because they still needed a place to stay during breaks and summer. And as you point out, still need a place for all their stuff.</p>
<p>But, I am slowly trying to change the look of each room. Part of the reason is that we are woefully behind getting either of their rooms to reflect the fact they are older than 13. It’s very hard to remake either of the rooms until they make final decisions about what they want to keep long term and what they don’t. Lots of “kid-stuff” still occupies way too much space in their not-so-spacious bedrooms.</p>
<p>Even if I WERE to make more changes, the only thing I’d really do is make them more presentable, adult guest rooms since we already have an exercise room in the basement and a study in the “bonus” room above the garage.</p>
<p>If we were short on space, I’m quite sure I’d be forcing decisions and moving much more quickly :)</p>
<p>We allowed our youngest daughter to basically trash her carpet because she is always working on some project or another in her room. After the first couple of accidents with paint, pastels, etc…we gave up and told her we would just change it when she moves out. She thanks us on a regular basis for allowing her make her room into an art studio , but I must say I can’t wait to rip that carpet out!!
I think I will try to make the room feel somewhat familiar to her - just much, much cleaner after she leaves!
Oldest d is already away and her room has basically stayed the same except the clothes are no longer on the floor. LOL</p>
<p>When the oldest went, the next one got the bigger room at the end of the hall and the one away got the small room (used to be crib room) to come home to. When 2 were gone, they had to share that room when they came home and the 2 left got the largest rooms as their own. Could not see that it was fair to have the big rooms empty and everyone crowded. Now that the last one is gone, her room is staying the same at least for a while except cleaner when I am done with it. The old crib has not had anyone come home to it for over a year so it is now DH’s office. By keeping a room to come home to but not “their” room, we were trying to send a message that the time for baby birds to fly had come, but there was a nest if they needed it.</p>
<p>My room is the same as it was. So is my sister’s room. When my parents built a new house over the last couple of years (while keeping our normal house), my sister and I got rooms there, too. Guests will stay there, but the rooms are “ours.” At home, my oldest sister’s room is now the room of my other sister, so it was changed years ago. My oldest brother’s room is still “his” room, but it looks and functions as a guest room. He’s 38 now, by the way, but we still refer to it as “-----'s room.” Of course, my parents don’t need any more rooms. We have a large, finished basement with a number of relatively available rooms, and we have an office/library already.</p>
<p>S’s room is staying as is for now, except that it is not presently carpeted with his clothing. I don’t know how long this will last, but, as we are not short of space, it will probably remain “his” room, though it may be redecorated if I ever get the energy!</p>
<p>It is a running thread in conversations with other parents that some kids expect their rooms to be maintained as a “shrine” to their days of high school glory, which will await them when they return periodically from the reality of the collegiate experience. With D, I used to shuffle things out of her room when she was reappearing for extended periods. Now I find that I am expected to make S’s sitting room into a girly-girl room for GD’s visits, so she will feel like it is hers. There is no end to this nesting and homecoming ritual. </p>
<p>I am willing to do all of this because I think it is important that grownup children have a sense of coming home, partly as motivation to come home. We have moved several times to different states, and that is already disruptive. Folks who stay put for generations have an advantage on this one, less need to compensate through these rituals.</p>
<p>over the summer, we had Ds swap room, the younger always had the smaller room, with no complaints, but why have the bigger room empty 80% of the time, seemed silly</p>
<p>when we did the swap, we purged, repainted and made the room of the girl who is going off to colleges room in her taste but less “hers” ie less posters on the walls, set up where I can sew when she isn’t here, where in the inlaws will feel welcome</p>
<p>they had no problems</p>
<p>this idea of a teens room being exactly the same for a 22 year oldt o stay in seems silly</p>
<p>I guess I don’t understand the need to hold onto some “stuff” instead of embrassing growing up and out</p>
<p>I have two daughters. My youngest has patiently lived in the smaller (crib sized room) up until now. She’s 13, in eigth grade, and ready to give up her loft bed and have a room friends can visit in. My oldest is off to college, and when she comes home she’s old enough we trust her on the far side of the house, in the guest suite. She’ll have her own bathroom for once, and her own entrance. She picked out the sheets for her new, queen sized bed, and is very slowly packing up her old room to move. It is understood when she is gone her room will be used for guests, so she can’t leave it messy. So the youngest gets a normal sized bedroom next to her parents, the oldest gets a room more appropriate to her grown up status, and we get a new office.</p>
<p>We haven’t really changed anything, but OTOH, D is not a very typical teen as far as decor, etc., goes. Neither D has posters of teen idols on the walls, etc. Older one is away 2/3 of the year, so 1/3 is still pretty significant. It’s actually just more convenient for all of us to leave it as is. It just means that during those 8 away months her room becomes utility for those of us here: overflow, extra study space, dressing space, dancing/exercise space, what have you.</p>
<p>And I agree with #5. One reason that it works for us is that D really does enjoy her time with family, is motivated to come home to an area of the house that still feels like “hers,” and we’re not giving her the message that we’re anxious for her to grow away from us. Naturally once she actually settles in her own non-campus, post-college residence, she may want/need many items in her room, & at that point a rearrangement would be called for, anyway.</p>
<p>(It also continues to “work” with one still in a demanding high school, keeping late hours, while the college student comes home to vacation & sleep in while high school is in session. For us, any rearrangement might entail a shared room, which might actually discourage her from coming home too often, given very different sleeping patterns of sis, or a complete displacement.)</p>
<p>We’ve been pretty crowded here with some nieces/nephews in and out along with our own kids. Had 12 people living here at one time two years ago. Everybody doubled up… now we’re down to just the three youngest. Boys (twins) still share a room per their choice and D has her own. Eldest S’s room is still his with all his stuff, but twins put an unfinished door in there with chairs and use his room as their study. </p>
<p>When everyone is here during summer & breaks, we’re back to the full-house and it’s kind of like “Home Alone” before the family leaves for France!</p>
<p>Well, I wish I could say I left my oldest S’s room just as it was–but it was a horrible mess and I had to clean it. He was already sleeping on a futon in a den, so that hasn’t changed, and that’s what he got when he came home for the summer–though H had moved his exercise equipment in there. . . Now we are in the process of moving to another state, so S doesn’t know what he’ll come home to.
lol fencersmom–I have 7 kids and often relate to that “Home Alone” scene.</p>
<p>My older D’s room is a shrine. It will remain as is. The study has 2 desks for our 2 girls. Our younger D won’t let us touch her sister’s desk. The only change we are contemplating is to take over her Tivor.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s worth doing much to them while they are in college, after that, I think they are fair game. But, boy dealing with years of STUFF is not fun! We just half cleared out my daughters room in anticipation of a foreign exchange student and we filled up several rubbermaid tubs of assorted pictures, books, letters, tons of traveling souveniers, make-up, etc.</p>
<p>My S’s room was left untouched during his freshman year. When he came home for the summer, we had a big clean out of all his old junk.</p>
<p>After he decided to move off campus for soph. year and referred to his apartment as “home”, I decided his room was fair game. I rearranged the furniture and bought new bedding and took some stuff off the walls. I did leave up a large corkboard with lots of high sch. momentos. </p>
<p>So it’s still his room (when he comes home which is not often) but now it looks more presentable for any other guests who may need it.</p>