Yes, the post college world does include some irresponsible people, but nowhere near on the level of what occurs in some college dorms. I lived in many apartments for many years as a young adult. I never had to step over vomit, or pools of urine, or passed out bodies in an apartment, though I did all those things at an Ivy dorm. I never had fellow residents damage the apartment building or pull fire alarms for fun as in a dorm.Try to find a living learning community of like minded students or pick your dorm carefully.
My kid goes to UF and is a non-drinking, previously homeschooled, evangelical Christian. He lives in the dorm and handles it fine. We live close by and he comes home frequently, but he also truly enjoys dorm life. He lives in an LLC for his major which probably helps (lots of fellow gaming guys).
I went to school in the midwest (way back in the day) and actually felt the party scene was pretty mild compared to my SEC-destined high school friends, though I still managed to find it. You can find it anywhere if you want to.
Have had a number of homeschooling acquaintances’ kids go to Christian colleges/universities and plenty of shenanigans happen there too.
It is going to depend heavily on the maturity of your student. You could always start college living at home. My only concern there is that you miss out on that first year experience where everyone is new and open to making friends.
ETA: I also like the suggestion above to check the FB groups to find like-minded potential roommates. My son and his roommate last year texted (in advance, before agreeing to be roommates) about their preferences on certain things and got along fine.
You can find or avoid the party life at any college regardless of if the school is public or private. At some point you will need to trust that your child will choose her friends and activities wisely.
She is really still considering all her options - - they’re all on the table as the decisions and scholarships offers are coming in. As she said to me " I like my high school friends, but I wouldn’t want to live with them". She’s always leaned towards living at home (maybe just for the first year or two), but then I am concerned about the drawbacks of that. (not making friends during that first year, lack of scholarship $$ if she is a transfer student later).
I second trusting your young adult. We get them for the first 18 years and after that they really need to figure all this out on their own. If they chose to socialize or stay in their room all day/night then that is the choice they made. It is their life to live. Not ours. They need to choose their own path.
Hard to do as parents but healthy for the child.
Maybe your blessed and will be able to afford sending your student off to college. Many of us here simply cannot afford it.
If her grades are high enough for her to qualify for merit scholarships, that is certainly a big consideration.
Sure you can find a party at any school and the kid ultimately has to steer his own ship. But there is something to the OP’s point. The seriousness, goals, focus and preparation of the students at a school is definitely one factor (among many others). Student seriousness and commitment, however, does not always correlate to the price being charged by the school.
A school that is very easy to get into and which doesn’t demand much effort from its students will tend to attract large numbers of kids who may not be much invested in their studies and academic careers. And if there’s large groups of those kids on campus, there may be a lot of kids who are more focused on their social lives. Read “The Five Year Party” if you have any doubts about this.
Sure there’s a lot of partying at Dartmouth (the inspiration for Animal House). But with 10% admit rate, the Dartmouth kids overall are going to be a pretty serious striving bunch – they and their parents are going to be highly invested in their Dartmouth academic careers.
Just not the same thing as what you’d find at a place like my home state university (CU Boulder). 80+% admit rate, and lots of not-so-serious students whose weekend begins mid-afternoon on Thursday. Many of those CU kids are actually out-of-staters from well-to-do families in CA and TX. So the price being paid is actually high, even though the academic seriousness and commitment of those kids is low.
The aeronautical engineering kids at CU (who typically live in an engineering only dorm) are a talented hard-working bunch. They’ll pull all-nighters on Thursday night to get ready for a physics exam at 8 am on Friday. Many of the marketing students, in contrast, will be sleeping (since they very often make sure to never sign up for any morning classes or any Friday classes).
My daughter attends a public university and has an active social life that does not include drinking and partying. The behaviors that you describe happen at every school… it is up to your daughter to make the right choices for her.
If your child is in the honors college there is often less trashy behavior in the honors dorm.
I went to a Baptist college. There was plenty of “trashy” behavior. “Trash” has no demographic or religious boundary.
Kids often let loose when they’re away from home and restrictions for the first time. I saw it over and over again. Most managed to grow up and get through that phase; some did not.
Me, I got all that out of the way in high school, so I wasn’t interested anymore 
Since it appears that the OP is in Indiana, perhaps most relevant is the party scene at the flagships (Indiana and Purdue) as far as public residential options go.
OP – for financial reasons, I had to work my way through school and live at home for college. I was a very serious student and got a great education at a very low cost. But my college “experience” just wasn’t the same thing as if I had been able to live at school.
If it is financially possible, I’d encourage you to encourage your kid to live away at school. I think that experience is worth paying for (although clearly not essential). There’s a lot of learning and growing up that happens if your kid is there 24/7.
But I’d also encourage your kid to find a like-minded group. That could be an honors dorm or a single sex dorm or an academic living/learning dorm, etc. etc. etc. Or also a careful choice of a compatible roommate.
There’s many options at many schools. At Purdue, for example, they have a “women in engineering” dorm as an option. I bet that’s going to have a different vibe than many other living options at that school.
Many schools have substance-free dorms that you can request if you want your daughter to avoid partying.
I agree with other posters, partying and casual sex can be found everywhere. Trust your kid to live by her principles.
I lived in a substance free dorm one year in college (I had a bad lottery number so that’s where I ended up). It was about 50% serious students who didn’t want to live with partying, and about 50% students with serious addiction problems, or huge partiers with 2.3 GPA’s whose parents made them live in the sub-free dorm to “protect them” from themselves.
As you can imagine, that made for an interesting dynamic. The engineers and athletes went to bed by 11 to be up at 5 am fresh for the day’s challenges. The drunks and the addicts wandered home at around 5 am to sleep it off. I fit into neither category (I was a serious student but was always a night owl-- just my body clock) so I had a front row seat.
Sub free doesn’t mean you won’t live with partiers- it just means they party elsewhere and come home to shower and sleep before the next party!
OP- you need to ask your D how she feels before putting the cart before the horse. Perhaps she is already confident in her ability to handle dorm life and you are worried with no cause.
When I saw the header I thought you were concerned about run-down dorms. What you’re referring to as trashy behavior is just pretty common college student behavior, generally speaking. You might get better behavior from upperclassmen, but oftentimes you do not. (graduate students tend to be more serious about their studies and less prone to excess partying, though)
If you want this toned down, you pretty much need to choose a “quiet study” floor or dorm if the school offers that. Even religiously-affiiated institutions see a LOT of this type of behavior. (even back in my generation. Probably has only increased in that regard)
So if you want to minimize the impact on your kids, quiet study is the way to go. A lot will depend on who their friends are, too.
Also, public vs private makes no difference, IMO.
You are paying, so you have a say in the type of school your child attends. BYU is known for being pretty straight-laced and very affordable, so maybe consider that. But you should bear in mind that your child will have to deal with unpleasant, or maybe even just different, behavior for his/her whole life. Is shielding your child from very normal teen/young adult behavior in his/her best interest? Not all college students behave like crazed drunks. In fact, I believe it’s a case of a few rotten apples spoiling the reputation at many schools.
You can’t protect your child forever. As a parent who commuted from home for college, and who has a current college sophomore who lives five hours away, I think the vast majority of students benefit from living on campus. Kids lean to be responsible for themselves in many ways when they live away from home. If you trust your child to use his/her good sense, then maybe it’s time they spread their wings and fly.
I doubt the cost of the school has any relevance. The academic caliber of the student body would, to a degree, though we often hear “work hard play hard” as descriptive of the culture of top schools, as pointed out earlier, the HS academic achievers will likely keep the partying down somewhat in the interest of doing well academically in college. It may mean partying is largely a weekend thing.
Hookups and similar sexual behavior though? I think most schools are even, there.
+1 on post #33.
Be careful about the “substance free” dorm option. That might not turn out to be the wholesome atmosphere you or your kid is seeking. Often times the campus drug dealer (and/or his best customers) lives in that dorm…
If you have given your kids a solid Christian conservative upbringing, you stand a better than average chance that they will be fine. I love to tell the story of how my daughter called me once during her freshman year from her dorm building’s lounge area. “Mom! I think I found a bag of weed! What should I do?” Now how many kids would do that?
Post #35. I want to comment - but I better not.