Check my cover letter (spring week)

Hey guys,

I’m applying to spring week but I need someone to check my cover letter.
I’m well aware of the English issues but right now I’m more concerned about the content. So could you please give me some advise and criticize my cover letter?

Here it is:


Here is a updated version.

Well, you ought to capitalize the very first letter, the t in “this.” That’s really all the advice I am qualified to offer, I think.