<p>@emeraldkity4, our city is about 79% white. And minorities make up most of the poor. It’s really appalling.</p>
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[quote]
her college was so sensitive to gay and transgender issues that it often felt politically incorrect to talk about their heteronormative interest in well, guys.[\quote]</p>
<p>Yes, I noticed in Hunt’s earlier post that he missed the memo that the phrase “man up” is now gravely offensive to certain campus groups. Just as “you guys” is now off limits. Who knew that Texans were so progressive with their handy gender-neutral “y’all.”</p>
<p>Sally, minorities do not make up most of the poor nationwide. Tell the single, white, overweight welfare mom about her privilege, again. I must have missed it.</p>
<p>The funny thing is this is being said by students to students at out elite universities. They are all pretty privileged.</p>
<p>Flossy, I was commenting on MY community, not any nationwide statistics. I also know that white people make up most welfare recipients–a fact that seems to be lost on some people.</p>
<p>You are right that anyone who ends up at Princeton or other elite universities has some “privilege.” The point is that there are many students that aren’t as callous, insensitive and self-absorbed as Fortgang.</p>
<p>Okay, for me he is irrelevant. The phrase is off-putting to say the least. </p>
<p>I agree its pretty appalling when immigrants who dont speak english come to parent teacher conferences but some other minorities think that educating their kids is the schools job, so they dont even come to the IEP meetings.</p>
<p><a href=“http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2017046660_newgap19m.html”>http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2017046660_newgap19m.html</a></p>
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<p>While the White mom may not be privileged in the SES sense, she is when it comes to how our society perceives and treats her compared to even well-off racial minorities.</p>
<p>One case off the top of my head was a Black college classmate who came from an upper-middle class NYC suburb and whose parents are well-off professionals. I believe a medical doctor and a NYC senior corporate executive. </p>
<p>Though he was privileged in an SES sense compared with White classmates who came from lower SES backgrounds, he certainly wasn’t when it came to how he was perceived racially in regular course of daily life.</p>
<p>For instance, from the time he was an adolescent, he was regularly stopped and questioned by law enforcement in his suburban hometown and surrounding areas because he “didn’t seem to belong” in the eyes of the cops or some neighbors who called them in because “They saw someone who looks suspicious*”. This was despite having a clean record and being such an outstanding student first at his public high school and later, academically rigorous private day school in the vicinity. </p>
<p>When he received a BMW as a graduation present at 18 and he started driving it, he regularly got pulled over by law enforcement because in the words of some cops who stopped him, he was suspected of being a drug dealer or up to some sort of criminal activity because there was no way someone young and fitting his “profile” could have afforded such a high end car. Also very interesting considering he’s never had a ticket and IMO…tends to drive a bit too cautiously at times.</p>
<p>Later on, when he gave me a tour of his department and area at Harvard in the early-mid '00s as a PhD student, I saw him getting stopped and questioned about his ID by campus cops multiple times whereas neither I nor any White or Asian/Asian-American Harvard alum I’ve asked about this ever had such an experience. This was around the same period there was a major controversy because police officers were called because of a “suspicious group” who turned out to be Black Harvard students who were having a picnic on a nice day at a House Quad and had every right to be there without having cops called on them. Interestingly, things came to such a head not too long afterwards that even the head of the campus cops admitted they had a problem and met with campus groups and the administration to try tacking the racial profiling issue. </p>
<ul>
<li>A.K.A. He’s Black!</li>
</ul>
<p>“emeraldkity4, our city is about 79% white. And minorities make up most of the poor. It’s really appalling”</p>
<p>It is sad when anyone lives in poverty. Though I wonder how many of the poor in your city would be so if their parents had gotten educated, a career, and then got married and had children. People aren’t poor because of the color of their skin, at least not in this country.</p>
<p>The unemployment rate is pretty low & the education rate is high.
Most of the poor are working in service jobs, especially fast food.
I expect they may benefit from the push to raise minimum wage to $15 an hr.
Still not enough to raise a family on, but I would argue that having a family is a choice and not one that should be undertaken without being aware of its implications.
Too many youth are not in school or working.
<a href=“http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/november_december_2013/features/the_livinginthebasement_genera047358.php”>http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/november_december_2013/features/the_livinginthebasement_genera047358.php</a></p>
<p>BD wrote: *As far as being a beneficiary of white privilege…I’ll just taking a wild guess that you are normal weight and attractive. But put yourself in the place of a middle aged/older overweight woman, who isn’t particularly attractive and is looking for a job. Do you think you’re getting the full benefit of that white privilege now? Talk about an oppressed class of people. *</p>
<p>BD: I’m glad my posts don’t sound unattractive.</p>
<p>PG gave an example of white privilege upthread:
“I don’t know what it’s like to go for a run without being followed by the police, since I’m African-American and the police follow me in a way they don’t follow my white friend who runs” opens up dialogue, opens up the thinking of the white person who maybe-didn’t-realize.</p>
<p>Whether I am ugly as dirt or Helen Mirren, I am not subjected to racial profiling. That doesn’t mean my life has no challenges. This isn’t a competition imho.</p>
<p>lindz wrote:*I like your anecdote, and I think your daughter has a great sense of humor. my daughter and I joked similarly about how her college was so sensitive to gay and transgender issues that it often felt politically incorrect to talk about their heteronormative interest in well, guys. *</p>
<p>Although usually I am just writing whatever nonsense comes into my head, I was trying to be very thoughtful before responding to PG’s post upthread. (I am sorry for ignoring you, PG. I was thinking what to say) What has happened in gay rights over the last decade is rather breathtaking. When I joined this board 10 years back, there were regular threads with titles like: OMG - My kid just got assigned a gay roommate. What can/should we do?!? And frequently the posters had kids at schools that were considered among the most gay friendly. I haven’t seen any of those posts in several years now and I am extremely grateful. However, until my gay son has all the legal rights of his straight brothers, it is hard for me to see the humor in anything PC. My kids, however, frequently make the same kinds of jokes and, as they have been pointing out since they were old enough to talk - I have no sense of humor whatsoever. </p>
<p>“Whether I am ugly as dirt or Helen Mirren, I am not subjected to racial profiling. That doesn’t mean my life has no challenges. This isn’t a competition imho.”</p>
<p>“Check your privileged,” makes it a competition, though. It says, “You have it easier,” which as others have stated is very often untrue. if you are poor, dumb, and ugly as dirt you are sure to have big problems regardless of race. </p>
<p>" Whether I am ugly as dirt or Helen Mirren, I am not subjected to racial profiling. That doesn’t mean my life has no challenges. This isn’t a competition imho."</p>
<p>Agree that this isn’t a competition. But the use of the phrase “check your privilege” implies that it IS a competition – that you (white woman in this case) “won life” by mere fact that you are white and therefore blessed and victorious in all you do, and you’d better take yourself down a peg or two before I do it for you. </p>
<p>Our hypothetical white student here <em>may</em> indeed have “privilege” in the one sense that she isn’t going to be followed by police when jogging in the park. But, indeed, the black student she is talking to may have IMMENSE advantages over her in other dimensions. Our white student might have had a sibling die, or a parent die, or grown up with an alcoholic parent, or been physically or sexually abused, or, or, or. And maybe our black student - who indeed suffers the jogging-in-the-park-issue, and no one is excusing that in the least – came from an intact, loving family. Point is - you don’t know. We all have our own crosses to bear in this world, and you’re right, it’s not a competition. “Check your privilege” turns it into a competition. </p>
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<p>In how many of the threads was it just the parent who got “concerned”, but the kid was perfectly fine with it?</p>
<p>Actually, there was a recent thread here describing a situation where a younger family member is gay, and some older family members seem to have a problem with it, indicating that there are still generational differences here:
<a href=“When do you treat Kid A differently because Kid B is different? - Parent Cafe - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1617904-when-do-you-treat-kid-a-differently-because-kid-b-is-different-p1.html</a></p>
<p>has anyone here ever actually heard this phrase themselves? seems we are mixing issues. this student is complaining about others competing or using it in effect to paint themselves as victims, but I’ve never seen or heard this. Of course we all have difficulties, and can point to them as evidence that we aren’t “privileged” yet that does not mean we still don’t also have the benefit of white privilege.</p>
<p>@alh my daughter was at a college that was extremely supportive of gay/transgender students because that’s the environment she is comfortable in and wanted…she fully supported her peers as she and our family had always done. I hope you recognized my post within the context of the whole post. I am passionate and vocal about this.</p>
<p>Yes, families can have challenges when a member is gay, or unmarried, or asexual, unemployed, mentally or physically ill, spoiled & or lazy.
But those things are not generally apparent just by viewing physical appearance.
Race often is apparent, although not always, as virtually all African Americans who have been in the US for generations have some ancestors that were not black Africans.
Assumptions about race and appearance does not explain the differences in academic achievement between recent immigrants and some established African American families.
<a href=“http://www.theroot.com/articles/history/2013/02/how_mixed_are_african_americans.3.html”>http://www.theroot.com/articles/history/2013/02/how_mixed_are_african_americans.3.html</a></p>
<p>Our district has been throwing extra money at schools in lower income neighborhoods for generations.
However that just seems to reinforce the idea that education of the cities children is the districts responsibility and ends at the classroom.
The students notice when their parents dont attend open houses, or parent teacher conferences, or pta meetings.
They take school more seriously when parents consider those things important & show up, and less seriously when parents reinforce the idea that outside activities like sports are more important.
Of course it doesnt help when administrators buy into that logic as well.</p>
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<p>PG,</p>
<p>One thing to keep in mind as several other commenters like Alh have reiterated is that this statement isn’t usually made in a vacuum. </p>
<p>Rather, it’s often made after the accused has made a series of obnoxious offensive statements betraying sheer cluelessness and lack of empathy to those who are less privileged in a given context. </p>
<p>In the case of this Princeton student judging by what he wrote, it’s highly probable he made blanket statements which assumed everyone is as well-off and free of challenges as he is…even those who don’t share his perceived race and higher SES status and in so doing, blithely assumed those who have those challenges must have done something wrong or were otherwise at fault for them. </p>
<p>For instance a variant of “Anyone who is struggling financially didn’t work hard enough to be as successful as my family/myself because we worked hard for our success”. </p>
<p>Ironic considering he omitted the fact his family didn’t face the same levels of racial prejudice other racial minorities did when his family first arrived and the crucial fact his father received a substantial government handout as an undergrad to get what was a well-reputed education for free or a a heavily subsidized rate depending on whether he attended City College before 1975 or not. </p>
<p>While most of this thread has been devoted to discussing “Check your privilege” as it’s applied in a racial context, that’s not the only context in which it could and IME in college, has been applied. </p>
<p>For instance, I have seen males of different races including racial minorities being told to “Check your privilege” by female classmates in context of discussions where the males in question made blanket statements assuming females have the lower status they do because of innate characteristics which are “inferior” to males. </p>
<p>Commenters on this thread also related instances of being forced to think about or being told to “Check your privilege” in the context of being more considerate and aware of those who are physically disabled or who don’t share the “default” heterosexual orientation. </p>
<p>Cobrat,
The subsidized college tuition is available to poor people too, so I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up. I don’t recall Fortgang saying his parents paid for college, but they obviously stayed in school and worked hard enough to get there and complete it. That was the point, I believe. </p>
<p>Fortgang could be gay, for all anyone knows. Does that mean he gets to be a little more upset about the “check your privilege” phrase than a straight guy would? That is what I am hearing about how this phrase is to be used and interpreted. </p>
<p>“One thing to keep in mind as several other commenters like Alh have reiterated is that this statement isn’t usually made in a vacuum. Rather, it’s often made after the accused has made a series of obnoxious offensive statements betraying sheer cluelessness and lack of empathy to those who are less privileged in a given context.”</p>
<p>Absolutely not at my D’s college. That phrase and similar ones are said in contexts where no one WAS being obnoxiously offensive, clueless or unempathetic. I know you want it so badly to be “Richie McRich was a jerk and so someone put him in his place” but that’s not always the case.</p>
<p>“Commenters on this thread also related instances of being forced to think about or being told to “Check your privilege” in the context of being more considerate and aware of those who are physically disabled or who don’t share the “default” heterosexual orientation.”</p>
<p>But that’s an obnoxious and ineffective way to do it. “Hey - I’d love to do the XYZ activity, but you guys may not have known - I have a physical disability not visible to the eye that prevents me from being able to do it - can we figure out a different solution?” is far preferable to a snarky “Check your privilege - we all don’t have unlimited physical capabilities.” </p>
<p>The other thing about “check your privilege” is it says - it’s YOUR (recipient’s) problem. Not a joint problem for us to team on. Rather, it’s a “you owe me.”</p>